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About The Hellgate Lance (Missoula, Montana) 1964-current | View This Issue
The Hellgate Lance (Missoula, Montana), 28 Jan. 1981, located at <http://montananewspapers.org/lccn/TheHellgateLance/1981-01-28/ed-1/seq-3/>, image provided by MONTANA NEWSPAPERS, Montana Historical Society, Helena, Montana.
.. LETTERS Guns Kill? To the Editor: - The death of John Lennon is causing another national outcry for stronger gun control laws. It happens every time a famous person is shot. Too bad people don't cry out_ for stronger drug control laws considering that fa- mous people like Elvis Presley, Janis Joplin, and Bruce Lee, along with others have suffered that cruel death. Naturally, since I'm a good cit- izen and a guy totally ignorant of the facts, I'm all for gun control. (P.S., guys: girls go crazy when you tell them how mature and intelligent you are by showing you are concerned with safety and wish to ban guns.) Anyway, a gun lover named Mike Royko, founder of the National Associa- tion for the LegaliZation of Ma- chine Guns, Bazooka's, Hand Grenades, and Land Mines has been trying to pass a bill entit- ling him to the usage of such weapons. Mike says, \Every home needs a bazooka and ma- chine gun.\ Mike is convinced - that with these weaJX?ns ~ terred the use of guns in pre- meditated crimes such as armed robbery. Also, there was no de- crease in the number of assaults, but rather only a shift in the weapons used.\ This is why I propose that we destroy guns, just not regulate them. Besides, just, the other day, I was walking my dog, and I heard a shot. Somebody was shot and murdered by a gun. Not only is that cruel, cold blooded and ruthless, it is also very noisy. Are you at all familiar with how loud those guns are getting these days? Look at the bright side: even if gun control laws don't prevent deaths they could at least make criminals use weap- ons such as knives, knum chucks, poison, karate, rocks, clubs, swords, broken beer bot- tles, mace, or some other qui- eter method. I mean as long as people-are still going to murder . each other, then they might as well do it quietly so that we con- cerned people don't have to hear it. Guns wouldn't be so bad if they just wouldn't kill so many people; that's why there is so . much protest against guns and So you see, if you vote with me against guns, we can smash crime by four percent! Do you have any idea how many of the 75,000,000 privately owned guns ever become in- volved in crime? Almost one- tenth of one percent - stagger- ing isn't it? We must do some- thing soon . . . Remember, once we outlaw guns, then only out- laws will have guns! A nice thought. I think that all people realy need is a super deep voice because when we destroy guns, all we'll need to shout at a bur- glar is HEY! What do · you think you're doing? You better get yourself off my property now or I'll really deepen my voice! . Worse than that, I'll call the cops, and they've got voices so deep they put Lurch to shame! Look buster, if you don't leave now, I'll send my wife down there to nag your leg off! Hey, people <fon't worry, the deep voice gets 'em every time. They just come out all handcuffed and begging to be locked up. Take if from a guy who knows the facts! Let's face it, when I see to it that all guns are outlawed and destroyed, the world will sigh a I once personally knew a .38 special that pulled itself out of a drawer, aimed and shot three _ innocent people! · big breath of relief, and we shall no more be bothered with gun- related crimes of any kind! (the only exception being the super brilliant criminals with IQs of 10 or more who can figure out how to put the four parts of a gun to- gether: the · barrel, the chamber, the bullet, and the firing pin). So indeed the world would be safe! Imagine, a world without guns, there'd be no violence, nothing but smiling faces all the time. Yep, I'm convinced that if we did away with guns, we might even live forever, how 'bout them apples? So you see people, all we have to do is get guys like Mike Royko and other anti-gun controllers who believe that guns don't kill, people kill, and shoot 'em! err, I mean put 'em house would be pertecuy safe. However, let's suppose that our ol' buddy Mike hears a burglar rummaging around in his base- ment. He's simply going to lob one of his dandy 7-11 hand gre- nades down the stairs and rid the world of another criminal, right? Wrong! The burglar planted his K-Mart land mine at the head of t4e stair- case ... been nice kriowing you, Mike. Mike also claimed the possible threat of foreign invasion, and gun lovers feel that the Rus- sians, Chinese, or somebOdy else might invade this country, and they want to be able to defend themselves. Such patriotism is commendable. The question is, how effective would hand guns be if Russian tanks made it as far as our cities? Besids, Russia knows that it can't invade Amer- ica, just like they failed to take over Afghanistan. I am Alfee DeWeaponatized and am the founder of Let's De- stroy All Guns Organization Foundation. Actually, wouldn't we all just settle for a law that would put anyone found with a hand gun in the streets a mini- mum of one year in jail with no hope for parole! - a law that would forbid the sale of the Sat- urday 'Night Special and other nasty little toys - a law that would make a person wait three weeks to buy a hand gun in order for the police to run a thorough investigation on this person to determine if the per- son is sane and free of any crimi- nal .,r ecords and fit to buy a gun. Well , people, the fact is they did in 1975 jn not only ~':Jew York but also in Detroit. Here are the results as reported by Harvard Center for Criminal Justice. · II) sum this is what they sai<t: \The · law does not appear to have de- not against alcohol, a drug that is responsible for causing the deaths of over 50,000 Americans and injuring a million more per year, including two Hellgate sen- iors last year . . Yet seldom do we read articles like \Every Home Needs a Bar and 190 Percent Proof Liquor!\ I think that all the blame on gun-related deaths should, of course, be placed on the guns, because after all, people don't kill, Guns KILL! Why should I care · if the reason there are so many criminals these days is be- cause of poverty and alcohol and expensive drug habits. Poverty doesn't force people to hold up a bank, GUNS DO! And don't you forget it! Just remember to vote down guns in the upcoming years be- cause it would also reduce the chances of your being robbed, and to prove it I have quoted ev- idence in my favor from the FBI. \Guns are involved in less than four percent of the serious crimes in this country which means that if there were no hand guns at all in this country in private ownership, and if ' criminals lacked the simple in- genuity to find other 0 weapons, we would still have more than 96 percent of our crime problem. away. . I'd like to take that statement for just a second. \Guns· don't kill, people kill.\ That is a black and white lie! I once personally knew a .38 special that pulled itself out of a drawer, aimed and shot three in- nocent people! But don't worry, it is facing a life sentence in prison . I hope I've now given you more than enough reasons why we should do away with guns, and remember our fighting slo- gan, DEATH DOESN'T KILL, GUNS DO!!! This should prove to you my serious hatred for guns! I hope \to see you soon at the local target range which, by the way, has been turned into a \get PEER COUNSELING • . Learn new skills in dealing with others • Improve old skills • Help your peers lnform·ational Meeting :Thursday 12:30 C o lA Everyone Welcome!! LANCE, Wllllnetdly, J_, 21, 1111 - 3 . YOU'VE. GOT YOUR HO.STAGE5 BACK .•. NOW YOU WOUlDN'T NUKE A MAN WHO LOOK.S LIKE SANTA C.lAU~ WITH A TOWEL ON HIS HEAD WOULD VOU? your deep voice here\ place! Oh, you can't miss it, it's located right next to the Hells ANGELS Hang-out. We'll see you soon! Allee DeWeaponatized Jullior Regan Williams (Sources: Almanac, American Hunter, American Rifleman, FBI \Crime in America,\ Field & Stream, National Rifle Asso- ciation, Outdoor Life.) Evaluation To the Editor: The semester is over, and many - students have enrolled in new classes. Due to the size of the faculty, it is often difficult to · know which teachers are very good, and which are not. I am aware of the policy of many uni- versities throughout the country, which encourages teachers to be evaluated by their students. The results of these evaluations are then published, prior to registra- tion, allowing students to see how the teachers rate. Some of the questions that are often asked of the students are: a) Does the teacher arouse in- terest in the subject? b) Are the ideas and concepts clearly presented? c) Does the teacher open new 1 perspectives? d) Are students free to ques- tion, disagree, and express their views? - e) Does the instructor provide individual attention when sought? f) Are lectures, readings, as- signments, and exams in- tegrated? g) Does the instructor en- courage and stimulate creative thinking? h) Is the course relevant to . your educational goals? i) Does the instructor discuss ctirrent research? j) Are assignments worth- while? k) Is the instructor prepared for class? l) How would 0 you rate the overall teaching effectiveness? I feel that such a policy could be incorporated by Hellgate's student body, with the results either- being posted up, or print- ed in this paper. The teachers would obviously hav~ the choice of cooperating or not, but it is apparent that the faculty would benefit from this system as much as the students would. The good teachers would receive the credit they deserve, and the not- so-good teachers would be en- couraged to improve their teach- ing style. This policy would allow students to be much more selective, and since the quality of a class often depends more upon the teaching ability of the instructor, than the actual course topic, I am sure that every student would find this in- formation very valuable. Ran Libeskind-Hadas Sophomore YOGI'S WE HAVE RE-OPENED Now o serving a complete menu including andwiches and hamburgers, ice cream frozen yogurt, onion rings, and french fries. 0 721-5975 631 Higgins • Open Weekdays 11:00 a.m . to 9:00 p.m. Fr[. ~ne o Saturday 11:00 a.l!l. to 12:00 p.n'l.
