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« h e E a / n o n a n d K a t i e S f y 0 Dear Eamon and Katie, Why does the J. Geils Band say, \love stinks\? Why can't it taste bad? Or why can't it look bad? Why didn't they just say love tastes like dog poop? Sincerely, Katie: Dear '80s Fan, It stinks because “You love her. But she loves him. And he loves somebody else, you just can’t win.” Seriously '80s fan? Who cares? Can you name any other song that J. Geils Band has written besides “Love Stinks” or “Centerfold?” Have you ever read the lyrics to this song? They are so mind numbing that I could write a song about tomatoes and green beans and have a hit. “Oh how I love red tomatoes are they are so great.” Yup that pretty much is the same caliber. Yes, '80s fan love stinks. It stinks so bad that it makes the Rot smell good. Love smells so foul that farm animals wouldn’t want to hang around you because they would gag. Moral of the story, don’t fall in love because not only will you smell repulsive but you will also look bad and taste bad. There I covered all the bases. Eamon: Dear '80s Fan, First off '80s fan, I will apolo gize for Katie’s comments. Unfortunately your question got answered after an extremely excru ciatingly long period of class, that to say the least, was far from fun. So anyways, does love stink? I '80s Fan Your advice headquarters: Katie Stiel, senior and Eamon Hansen, sen ior, are Prospector intern writers, and the king and queen of advice, but in order to give that advice they need you, yes you, to send them your questions or concerns. Please send any questions you may have to firstname.lastname@example.org. They will be more than happy to advise you on any situations you have found yourself in or any ran dom questions you may have about anything. You may just find that they can be quite helpful. Please! Give these two something to do!!! would have to say no. I think the band was com menting on the fact that love is a game, which has no winners. There are only players in this crazy game. It is ignorant not to mention that you may be in love with a smelly man or woman, and thus love stinks. But the band was making men tion of the metaphorical smelliness of love. Looking and tasting bad, wow this love stuff must suck to you. I’m sorry but I have to end here, my associate Katie just fin ished singing all of the lyrics to “love stinks” at a very audible level, in the science building com puter lab. Everyone is now staring at us, and I think it is time to leave. I don’t know if love stinks, but I do know that playing the game is as fun as a kick in the teeth. And everyone be sure to keep your ear to the grindstone and wait patiently for that amazing tomato and green bean song from Katie. Important: We do not care what your question is, we just want to hear it (or I guess read it in this case.) Please email us any ques tions at email@example.com that’s pretty easy to remember right? Cheers, Katie and Eamon Why you wear what you wear “I’ve always loved clothing, it is a means of self-expression. Fashion fades, while style is eternal.” Emily Mannex, sophomore, commu- nications/public relations major “If I’m going to walk around with a shameless advertise ment on my chest, I might as well make someone smile.” John Earley, junior, communica- tions/public relations major “I wear a beanie because I am self concious of my un combed hair, my beanie is my security blanket.” Adam Zollo, freshman, undecided “I wear the red on my collar beause I have a deep yearn ing to be a monsignor.” Rev. Gene Peoples “I don’t like following trends. I wear clothes that I feel com fortable in and that I like... They just tend to be a little off.” Laura Kohler, sophomore, engineer ing major WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2004 VOLUME 88, NO. 2 photo by Katie Stiel