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Keeping Your Health In Mind Tami Haaland Montana's Poet Laureate Mike Bogan Hip-hop Hope For Billings Geologic History Offers Adventure STUDENT POLL Does your professor require you to use, or do they make use of turnitin.corn? VOTE @ Qaoll.msubretort.org INDEX News 3 Campus Life 4 Opinion 6 Feature 9 Culture 10 Sports 12 Outdoors 14 Odds & Ends 16 The Retort THE VOICE OF MONTANA STATE UNIVERSITY BILLINGS September 11th 2013 msubretort.org Vol.90, Issue 1 The Student Activites Board And You Bargaining your way through college By ASHLEE TWIFORD email@example.com T he next time that I hear the words, \I'm bored. There's noth- ing to do on campus,\ come out of a student's mouth I will flip my desk over in a fit of confused irrita- tion. The Student Activi- ties Board, more casually known as SAB, is an orga- nization that caters to stu- dents. Its main purpose is to give students something to do. The SAB provides the student body with free, usually weekly, involve- ment and entertainment. In fact, the organization is funded tens of thousands of dollars by ASMSUB in or- der to put on programs. In case you weren't aware, these funds don't come from nowhere. The money comes from your student fees, so these events aren't exactly free to you. You already paid for a portion of each event, so why not learn about them? (For a full report on how By CHEYNE 1WONES firstname.lastname@example.org I n a summer of sports that seemed to be dom- inated by rule breaking, fines, and suspensions, I thought it would be appro- priate to examine some of the most extreme punish- ments handed out in the history of organized ath- letics: The Death Penalty: Many college teams have received the \Death Penal- ty\ which is a suspension of an entire program for one or more years. Some of the most famous of these are Kentucky Basket- ball (1952-'53), Long Is- land University Basketball (1951-'57), and Southwest- ern Louisiana basketball (now Louisiana-Lafayette), which was given the Death Penalty for two complete years, the largest-ever pen- alty handed out to a Divi- sion I program. Southern Method- ist University football: The school was given the Death Penalty in 1987. They were banned from all activities in '87, for- bid two home games in 1988, cut 55 scholarships, and were forbidden off- campus recruiting for two years. SMU has yet to ever really recover. MLB Players: Since January 2004, Major League Baseball has start- ed to increase the severity of punishments handed out to those that have a posi- tive test for performance- enhancing drugs. In that time, 67 players have been student fees are allocated, check out the last issue in last year's volume on msub- retort.org ). These programs aren't always run-of-the-mill, Oriental Trading Company catalog parties. Quite of- ten, SAB invites renowned comedians or pays for the rights to watch blockbust- er movies on the big screen. suspended: 29 from the U.S., 20 from the Domini- can Republic, 11 from Ven- ezuela, three from Cuba, two from Puerto Rico and Mexico, and one each from Australia, Columbia, Ja- pan, and Spain. Of course, the most famous of these suspensions are recent suspensions significant of Miguel Tejada (105 games) and the pending suspen- sion of Alex Rodriguez (211 games). The USC Trojans foot- ball team: Because of star runningback Reggie Bush receiving gifts from agents and boosters, the Tro- jans had to vacate their 2004 National Champion- ship team, all wins from 2005, and Reggie Bush was stripped of his Heil- man Trophy. The team also lost 30 scholarships and was banned from postsea- son play for two years. Penn State football: In light of the evidence sup- porting that the coaching staff was involved in a de- cade-long cover-up of a sex scandal, Penn State was hit with some harsh penalties, including a loss of $60 mil- lion, a four year bowl ban, loss of 20 scholarships, and a vacation of all wins from 1998-2011. McLaren Fl: In 2007, the McLaren Fl team was implicated in Formula l's version of the \Spygate\ scandal, and were handed out a huge penalty—$100 million; the team was also banned from that year's Constructor's Champion- ship (which resulted in a loss of the chance to win Sometimes SAB even hosts dances. In fact, all of the events held for Welcome Week here at MSUB are due partly to efforts put forth by the members of the activities board, a board of which there are current- ly only five members, but more on that later. See SAB, p10 a trophy and prize money). larizing figure in the history of baseball (at least before A-Rod and Barry Bonds), Rose was one of the greatest players ever. In his 23 year career with 17 All-Star game appear- ances, his achievements include MLB records for hits (4256), games played (3562), at-bats (14,053), and outs (10,328), and also three World Series rings, three batting titles, one MVP, two Gold Gloves, and the Rookie of the Year award. But, Rose was an avid gambler, and amidst accusations that he bet on games, including those in- volving his own team, Rose accepted a LIFELONG ban from baseball. Not only did this cost him years of managing and coaching, but it also cost Rose a shot at the Hall of Fame. The \Black Socks\: After throwing the 1919 World Series, eight mem- bers of the Chicago White Socks were suspended for life, most notably Shoeless Joe Jackson. Ron Artest: On Novem- ber 19, 2004, Artest was involved in the \Brawl at the Palace\ in which Art- est actually fought with fans in the stands during a game. Artest was suspend- ed for the rest of the sea- son and postseason, which amounted to a total of 86 games—the longest NBA suspension for an on-court incident; Latrell Sprewell has the second longest sus- pension at 68 games. See SUSPENSION, p12 By PATRICIA HAMPTON email@example.com T o college students, penny-pinching, scrimping, and shak- ing purses to find the last of the change in the deep dark corners are not unfa- miliar concepts. The life of a full-time student, or even a part-time student, can be extremely busy, occupied by hectic work schedules, intensive course require- ments, and juggling social and family lives. In short, saving those pennies can be difficult. This is one reason for looking into the savings available to stu- dents through Study Bar- gains. The ability to implement general coursework in real- life situations and provide By PATRICIA HAMPTON firstname.lastname@example.org As described by Dar- la Tyler-McSherry. Director of Student Health Services (SHS) at Montana State Uni- versity Billings, \Student Health Services seems to be the 'well-kept secret' here on campus.\ For this and other reason, it is time to remove the veil of uncertainty and reveal what SHS is and what it has to offer MSU Billings' student population. SHS is funded by a fee automatically charged to students registered for sev . - en credits or more in the amount of $60.25 each se- mester. Services provided encompass medical, mental health, and wellness. wwwstudybargains.com a service to others is both rewarding and rare, how- ever Study Bargains is an example of one such feat. The business was begun by Montana State Universi- ty Billings students Thom- as Staffileno, Jack Hepp, AJ Weir, Devin Card, and Brad Wilson as a project for their Small Business and Entrepreneurship class last year. See BARGAIN, p4 Working closely with St. Vincent's Hospital, SHS is able to bring in two Nurse Practitioners and one Reg- istered Nurse, in addition to a Registered Nurse hired di- rectly through MSU Bill- ings, boasting a total of thir- ty-hours of provider pres- ence each week. \Our em- ployees have a real passion for student health and help- ing them to thrive academi- cally and socially in all as- pects of their lives,\ ex- plained Tyler-McSherry. These individuals are able to respond to minor emer- gencies on campus, howev- er more often medical atten- tion is sought from emer- gency responders. See HEALTH, p4 The Sports Corner: Suspensions in Sports