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About The Big Timber Pioneer (Big Timber, Mont.) 1983-current | View This Issue
The Big Timber Pioneer (Big Timber, Mont.), 12 Dec. 2003, located at <http://montananewspapers.org/lccn/sn83002511/2003-12-12/ed-1/seq-4/>, image provided by MONTANA NEWSPAPERS, Montana Historical Society, Helena, Montana.
Page 4 — BIG TIMBER (MT) PIONEER — Week of December 12-18, 2003 Feel like you're losing the m e n tal battle? T a k e the T e s t for dem e n tia' below to see if it's too late for you Your comments welcome • Send to: The Pioneer, P.O. Box 830, Big Timber, MT 59011 • Include Phone # | l , a THE BIG TIMBER P I O N E E R J u s t F o r F u n Test for dementia Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the mus cles. As we grow older, it's impor tant that we keep mentally alert. The saying; \If you don't use it, you will lose it,\ also applies to the brain. Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test and determine if you arc losing it or are still \with it\ Relax, clear vour mind and... begin. I What do you put in a toaster? Answer \bread.\ If you said \toast then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt your self. If you said, “bread,\ go to Question 2. 2. Say \silk\ five times. Now spell \silk.\ What do cows drink? Answer- Cows drink water. If you said \milk please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropri ate, such as Children's World.\ If you said \water proceed to question 3. 3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a-pink house is made from pink bricks, and a black house is made from black bncks, what is a green house made from? Answer Greenhouses arc made from glass. If you said, \green bncks,\ what the devil arc you still doing reading these ques tions????? If you said \glass then go on to Question 4. 4. Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. During the flight, two of the engines failed. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the third engine fails before he has time to \irtiempt an emergency landing, and the plane crashes smack in the mid dle of \no man's land\ between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the sur vivors — in East Germany or West Germany or in \no man's land\? Answer You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said anything else, you arc a real dunce and you must never try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, \Don't bury the sur vivors,\ proceed on. 5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute, how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour? Answer: One degree’ If you said, ”360 degrees\ or anything other than \one degree,\ you arc to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn in vour pencil, and exit the room. Evctyonc else proceed to the final question. 6. Without using a calculator -- you arc driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven What was the name of the bus dnver? Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? ft was YOU’! Recycle... Come home with me A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-look- ing homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked: \If I gave you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?” \No I had to stop dnnking years ago,\ the homeless man replied \Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?\ the man asked. \No 1 don't gamble\ the home less man said. \I need everything I can get just to stay alive.\ \Will you spend the money on fish bait instead of food?\ the man asked. \Arc you nuts!\ replied the homeless man. \I haven't fished in 20 years!\ \Well said the man, \I'm not going to give you the two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.\ The homeless man was astounded. \Won't your wife be furi ous with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pret ty bad.\ The man replied, \Hey man, that's okay! I just want her to sec what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, and fishing.” — Courtesy o f an e-mailing friend Publisher Dale C. Oberly Editor Rebecca B. Oberly Reporter dimly Pitts 'I ypcsetting: Sandra Derosky Columnist. Elbe I 'rsino Cartoonist- Helen Clark Advertising: Rosalie I Irekcl Circulation: Sheila O'Connell Established In 18X7 Official Newspaper o f Big Timber and Sweet Grass County. Montana Member Montana Newspaper Association, Helena, MT The Big Timber Pioneer (USPS0559-6000) is published every Friday by Pioneer Publishing Co.. Big Timber, MT. Periodicals postage paid at Big Timber, MT. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Big Timber Pioneer. 105 W SocondAve. P.O. Box 830 Big Timbct, MT 59011 PHONE (406) 932-529« FAX (406)932-4931 YEARLY SUBSCRIPTION PRICES: Sweet G n u County, Reed Point A Springdale - $34 Montana - $42 U S A -$50 Inquire for Foreign, P int Ciau rates
