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About Big Hole Breezes (Jackson, Mont.) 1898-1915 | View This Issue
Big Hole Breezes (Jackson, Mont.), 15 Sept. 1899, located at <http://montananewspapers.org/lccn/sn83025326/1899-09-15/ed-1/seq-2/>, image provided by MONTANA NEWSPAPERS, Montana Historical Society, Helena, Montana.
l i l i S s i s s s - T K ' <L * _. __ , ,-' ‘ . f . L < t^JL \ * Many trusto a r t oppressive, but what Wlil ba harder than one in granite? Better call the automobile the \Zip.” That’* ahort enough and expreesei the The c u r w ill enforce the disarm*- ment policy In Finland, but he la a lit- f tie thy about Turkey. Money as a power In politics bears somewhat on the sweeping ot a State and raising considerable dust The discovery that Columbus was crasy Is no discovery at all. His wise contemporaries knew It at the time. One thing proved by the kissing bug Is that charges o f our gtrla using poi sonous carmine to color their lips can’t be true. The New York magistrate who said all women were liars was merely stat ing the old fact that man embraces woman. With three daughters, the czar nat urally feels that Be w ill have enough to look after without killing other men’s sons. Babies are still being christened Dewey. That hero not only made a great name for hluiself, but also for lots of others. It Is pleasant to realise that the Sa moan kings can probably make more money with a circus than their sal aries ever amounted to. Tbs ameer of Afghanistan has Just hanged his COok. H o w would you like to be the ameer?—Chicago Journal. H o w would you like to be the ameer’a cook? ' A young fellow up north ehot hlm- aelf because his girl broke the engage ment. A mau shouldn’t get more than about ‘‘half-shot’’ under such provoca tion as that. *Th e bachelor editor of the Omaha World-Herald Intimates that the Penn sylvania man who traded lila wife off for an accordion evidently wanted something that he could shut up. Some people are born romantic. For Instance, a recent bride gathered the rice showered upon her at her wedding and served her husband at the first meal with s dish of rice pudding made from It A certain Jury has discharged a man who killed a boy in the act of eating cherries In his trees without permis sion. Only one consideration saves this from being grossly ridiculous. It • f§ 11 !Vmlfftrnlla ti y B u ^ egn tagtlyp. A Chicago man fired at ft piece of bullet-proof cloth and the ball rebouud- ed and hit him In the forehead, draw ing blood. This goes to show that bul let-proof cloth should always he worn by the man behind the gun. Instead of the one In front of It. The professional kicker has no ap parent license to live and many people wonder why he cares to live. HI* ex istence Is one o f the Inexplicable mys teries of providence. lie saenm^to toll not or spin, yet he has clothed himself with a homespun effulgence that Is as dassllng as a halo o f California fog. Former Vice President Stevenson ad vises young lawyers to take a hand In politics. Whether or not this Is good advice depends upon how much of a band they take In politics. I f they de vote so much o f their time to politics that they cease to study law and give people the Impression that they are not attending to tbelr buslueas, the young lawyer had better not take a band. The same remark applies to til other men wt-\ **p# a regular calling. “ Cash K .\ Is the curious verbal dis guise under which, for ten years past, some generous person, who uses an Omaha paper as his agency, has given many thousands of dollars to worthy people and deserving objects. No one but the editor of the paper knows who the bidden philanthropist I t Yet hap pily, although “ Cash K ,” Is able to give largesums o f money, be is only a type of many who, la equally self-ef facing ways, are ottering help and hope to the needy and the unfortunate. An official circular, issued by the Governor o f Art sons, warns Intending Investors id mining claims, alleged to exist la that territory, against the schemes o f unprincipled stock-jabbers. Tbelr purpose is to sell large amounts o f stock In the Eastern States, sod the late boom in copper, together with the grest productiveness o f some o f the Arlxoaa copper-mines, m ay make It possible for these “ promoters\ to suc ceed. Corporations, the Governor as serts, h ive been form ed with ootra- gsonx capitalization, based upon pros pects which are either fallacious or grossly exaggerated, and the stock is Sold upon misrepresentations which almost amount to obtaining money un der false pretenses. The Governor re grets being compelled to make such announcements, hurt was constrained thereto “ in the Interest o f tag. to save Investors from protect the character o f The Diet of Hesse has sets the bachelors in that per cent more Income married mes pa f . This wi indicate that the Isttufl fat Hesse. I f the to stand sad d e lfr there w e a ld •osaefhtng n d f e a % w rong flTCMB ZtorK. A r e the lost im f Byrnes Ids s t a r ? f t w w t t he . * « • t a r ftesse t o f i n e r the v m S i with t a WWch tte marrlage-a'-fattor* ptqNtonx ceuld bo thoroughly considered from every pcUM*. ot view. O f course, the ta x tea t •spe cially burdensorae, ta d perhaps the bachelors w ill cbterfnlly pay ap * M no qu e s tion asked. la fact, the per-' sons who seem to be the worst hit In! the matter are the bralded-balrcd,' Hesse damsels. I f they couldn't win the young man before the tax was put! oa they w ill certainly fe e l that their victory Is a dubious one when the bach elors now propose—because the at-; tempt to eacape taxation w ill seem so thoroughly obvious. It's really an un fortunate state of affairs. The town of Alameda, in California, has formed what it calls “ T b s Divorc ed Men's Club.” I f divorcad men choose to form a club and get together to felicitate themselves on their escape from matrimony we see no reason tor disputing that privilege, But w e must tskq exception to what they call ’’mis sionary w o rk” la persuading other men “ not to allow their love to get the bet ter of their Judgment.” Every man should be permitted to learn the great secrets end mysteries o f Ufa from ex perience, and we think w e may say that with all respect fo r hit talents, whatever they may be, w e have never seen a fu lly equipped, all-round judge ot human nature and human possibili ties among the bachelors. Indeed, deep ly as we deplore divorce, It Is much bet ter to love and lose, after marriage, than never to have loved and married at all. H e who speaks In the same breath o f love and Judgment speaks foolishly. I f we love w isely and hap plly It Is a matter of luck, not Judg ment A man may select a wits with Judgment and learn to love her, or he may love her and find t o his Joy that subsequent judgment does not repudi ate his choice. But tn the moments of tender passion Judgment Is no factor, as may be learned from perusal of the didactic essay* of Schopenhauer, Mrs. Corbin and other philosophers. The only man of alien race who has succeeded during recent years la mak ing a stand against England is Presi dent Kruger of the Transvaal. This fact alone gives him a unique position In the world. He Is not so great a mau as his remarkable success lu thwarting the ambitions of Cecil Rhodes and the aggressiveness of Mr. Chamberlain would seem to Indicate. H e Is a stolid, cautious representative o f the Dutch settlers In South Africa, who have been driven Inland from the Cape by the superior energy and enterprise of men of English blood. H is principal trait Is sluggishness. H e stands still and waits. President Kruger b u the credit of being a man of great force of character. In reality It Is the force of Inertia. He Is a plain, homelovlng Boer, living In the simplest way on the outskirts o f Pretoria, smoking a long pipe the greater part of the day, drink- ing a great deal of strong coffee, taking little exercise and sleeping well. He has mads several guelet Jokes, which have armed him with the reputatlou of be ing shrewd and almost brilliant; but he speaks slowly, Is dull In conversa tion, and Is neither quick In mind nor alert lu actlou. lie has Wintered by luaetlon the designs of Mr. Rhodes, one of the most energetic and capable of English Imperialists, and also the counsels o f Mr. Chamberlain, one of the shrewdest and most practical colo nial secretaries. He promises to do things and never does them. He ex hausted the patience of Cecil Rhodee, and In this way drew Dr, Jameson Into the foolish and wicked raid Into the Transvaal. He bat thwarted Mr. Chamberlain mainly by standing back, watting month afer month to make up his mind, and promising to do some thing after a while. President Kruger has been more than a match for these two great Englishmen, but only be cause be represented the quiescence of a backward country which was pitted against a generous and magnanimous cation. The British Empire has been arrayed against the little Boer repub lic, but tn consequence o f Mr. Glad stone's moral policies, England’s band* hare been tied. NEW Y O R K M A N 'S T IM E P IE C E S . Hat a Watch and Clock with Partralta of Hla Twelve Children. ' Henry Bloch, a business-man of Brooklyn, N. Y., eats breakfast at half- past Rosie, goes to luncheon at fifteen minutes to Gabriel, and retire* for the night at Achillea. Mr. Bloch ba* twelve children, nine girls and three boys. H e la fond o f hla family, and, tn order that he might alw a ys bare them In mind, had a watch made with the miniature photograph o f one of the children in the place o f each of the honre on its dial. Thus where the fig ure 7 would be on an ordinary watch dial the pretty face o f hla daughter Ro sie looks o u t The face o f the boy Qa- - a r x r n i ' i vwuftm w i r e * . brtel repreaeats 1 o’clock, that o f Freda 2 o'clock, and so oa troond the dial A t ids homo Mr. Bloch has a large clock, on the dial o f which the figures are represented In the name way. A a t M A h a Blsds. Anson* the birds the males art the prettiest bars (be gayest feather* and n . m f i L - » **** * * • b**t A “ ° ° * 11 hnhnais ba* a n ike m e lee are the 'CWwMpi-^wwflil Ito&sBjtk* S a w taarmm Clethln*..' to the Joyous season when tbs toiair~b«£'goes d o w n to the lake front, d l a b s obtoA-the frow n isg walk o f the UUnoto Railroad Company, tres- pMaco upon the right of way regard- lees of the warning signs, and takes off U s clothes In View of \ the aud: when he has reached the breakwater, stys the Chicago Chronicle. Then he Jumps Into the shallow water and flounders gleefully la the sand for some time. Passing railroad trains filled tilth passengers disturb him not. He pays no heed to the disturbed gase of the resident on Lake avenue, who views his antics with undisguised dis favor. H e wants to swim, and there Is the water, and what more is. neces sary I Anon comes the railroad police man with raucous voice and threaten ing club, hurtling acrosa the tracks, filling the air w ith strange oaths and acting generally ae though be were trying to disperse a riotous mob. Then the small boy takes bis clothing, usual ly conalstlng o f two pieces, and hies him along the piling to the convenient shelter of a boathouse. I f the uniform ed minion of the corporation pursues him he slips Into the clothes with two motions and defies the law. I f the cop per gets tired of the Job and weakens In the pursuit the small boy drops the clothes and dives Into the water again. I f only one small boy did this he might not attract much notice. But there Is more than one small boy In Chicago who pant* fsr the cooling wa ters of the lake on sultry days, aud when scores of them line the break water pier they occasion some com ment among passengers ou the subur ban trains The boys have uever ac quired the batblug-sult habit. The law prescribes It, but the small boy never did have much respect for the law aud Ignores It unless It begins to chase him with a club. Therefore the spectacular effect of the bathers Is a bit startling to the eye as viewed from the flying trains. They don’t give the hoy much of a chance In Chicago. I f he files a kite In the streets he Is arrested; If he plays base-hall on forbidden territory he ls[ chased from It by the police; If he throw* stones, one of the prerogatives of all boys In all times, he Is break- Ingthelaw, aud It he goes swimming In the great, cool lake which stretches so Invitingly before him he Is harried by the police and arrested If they get near enough to him. The city eternally for bids him to swim in the big lake unless surrounded by proper facilities In the way of bathing suits aud bathhouses, but It does not rurnlsh the suits or build the house*. I f both were sup plied by the munldapllty the small boys In drove* would take advantag< of them. There are two or three pub- tk* k v t n k k « i , : i M there to t hasty «o d u * of~tfa« happy boys when they s m the mtalon* o f the law coming. G R E A T P R IN O fi OF INDIA. Ba H i* Herd o f Elsphaats' w M e s e s a l o f L t d j l arson. h« pretty, girlish creature whose beauty once captivated the marriage* able.jnen o f Chicago and Washington society circle*, but who married aa English lord and la now vicereine of India, haa Just added to her list ot un sought admirers the Maharajah ot T iolo t Ulaaeeo to Detect F t ll- f e f i o f Ssaohelae* Powder, facing an army o f goggled- red soldiers, each man In rank wear ing great goggles to completely cover the eye and ahnt out every ray of pure white Hght, advancing open yon, like some great-eyed destructive monster! This to what the Filipinos must do when the United States pats into op eration the’' scheme which has been projected and adopted by the W a r De partment The department proposes 5. v L A D Y CURZON, FO R M E R L Y MISS L E I T E I l OF CHICAGO. lie bathhouses lu Chicago, hut they are not what the average healthy boy wants. They are all right for the pur poses for which they were designated - t o furnish bathing facilities In crowd ed tenement districts. But the boy who wants to cool off and splash around In the water does not want to go Into a building under a roof and slip Into a warm, nauseating pool, the limits of which he can see with half an eye, and whose Bcant dimensions are shared by a hundred others at the same moment. H e wants to get Into the lake—Into the limitless, heaving body of blue water which lies at the very door of Chicago—with nothing over him but the blue sky and plenty of room for 100,000 other bathers. Finding himself without the facili ties In the way o f bathhouse* and bath ing suits, the small boy- Is obliged to make shift with what he finds—the lake and the pier—and If he uncon sciously furnishes a summer spectacle to all beholder* he feels It Is'not h0 fault. In the meantime bathing must be done from the piers with such scant protection from the gaping world as Is furnished by the advertising signs and the boathouses. Of course It I* against the law—near ly everything the small boy does or want* to do la Chicago Is against some tow. But, while the law expressly for bids bathing In public without the out ward and visible signs of a bathing suit It offers no recourse to the pant ing youngster who, free from school and horns duties, wanders about to ward the great, blue, cool looking lake on a hot day and is possessed of t de sire to “ go In.” H e sees no reason why Durbhuuga, one of the premier noble men of Uludoostau aud a trusted advis er of Lord Curzuu. This llluduo prince has respectfully placed at the disposal of Lady Curzon the spleudld herd of elephants that are among his vast pos sessions, thus making Lady Curzon the possessor pro tern, ot more ot these lordly creatures than uuy other woman In the world. Her ladyship has devel oped a great liking for the elephants, and frequently takes advantage of the friendliness existing between the vice roy and the maharajah to ride forth ou one of the gorgeously caparisoned ele phants of state. With that happy spirit of frank friendliness In the company of under lings that miljr nn Amprlmm tvamatt knows how to Indulge without loss of dignity, the vicereine has made herself the Idol of the attendants at the palace of the Indian prince. To penetrate the reserve of an Oriental of high degree Is a feat that not every white man or womafi, even among the upper ten of India, can boast of having accomplish ed. To l>e given the freedom of the magnificent palace of his highness the Maharajah of Durbhuuga Is a compli ment even to a viceroy and vicereine. The elephants belonging to the rajah are under the control of an old man upwards o f eighty years of age. Each elephant rejoiced In an appellation taken from the names of mythological or historic heroes; and It Is tbelr veter an keeper’s boast that every elephant Is known ft) him by name. The title dates back only to 1808, when the then Maharajah Ghutter Singh was formally recognized and In vested by the British Government. But the origin o f the family can be traced as far back as the reign of the Em peror Akbar, whose lieutenants they were In the province of Behnr. The grow ing friendliness of such a man for Lord and Lady Curzon Is viewed with pleasure by those Interest ed In the welfare of India, for If the hearts of the native princes are with the Queen’s representatives the sta bility of the Government is doubly as sured. T o have won so emphatic a demonstration of regard from the Maharajah of Durbhunga shows that tn the future o f the great Indian em pire the American wife of Lord Curzon Is destined to play a significant part. Development of English Landtags. I f some recently published statistics are to be trusted the English language Is developing more than any other, past or present While the German contains 80,000 words, the Italian 45,- 000, the French 80,000 aud the Spanish to furnish to each soldier Ugh ting un der the Stars and Stripes In the Philip pines a pair of great glasses which he must constantly wear lu active service lu the field. The reason? Why, to detect aud lo cate the ambushed enemy *nd lta In dian fighting sharpshooters, to obviate the dangers and difficulties Introduced luto modern warfare by smokeless powder. How? Well, there Is an easy explanation. It was discovered In experimenting with smokeless powder that It wag ab solutely Invisible to the eye, until an accident developed one uukuown con dition. Through a violet glass the flash and snmke could be descried as nlauvlj- on *h o r»l/1 tiloolt perimeutg followed and th£ condition remained unchanged, with the result that the department ordered for every soldier In the field violet glasses to be worn constantly ou duty, which would EQUIPPED WITH GOGGLES. shut out the pure daylight and enable them to readily detect the position o f any sharpshooter, even though equip ped with smokeless powder. This Is the explanation, but what a uoveltyl To what extremes may w e not come In our efforts to combat the^ Inventions o f modern scientific war fare? The twentieth century soldier will soon vie with the armored athlete, who to-day battles on the foot ball field for the honor of his alma mater. What w ill be the next step toward It? Anecdote of Roe* Bonbeur. Mice. Rosa Bonbeur (Rosa stood for Rosalie) was not without a sense o f humor, so It Is told of her that while presiding over a school of design In Paris, the pupils being girls, the artist was disgusted with the class, because, Imitating tbelr teacher, the yonng women bad cut tbelr hair short. ’’Grand Dleu!\ cried Rosa Bonbeur, “ how horrid you all look! This Is not a class of boys. You silly CTeatnres, let yonr balr alone and do yonr best so as to retain all the advantages of your sex.” A Celestial Reproach. Dorothy—Mamma, If I should die, would I go to heaven? “ Why, yes, darling; o f course you would.” \And If you should die, would yon go to heaven; too?” “ I hope so, dear.” “ I hope so, too; because It would be very awkward for me to be known as the little girl whose mother is In helL” - L i f e . ______________________ D rilled Doff*. For some time past a toge battalion of doff* has been drilled in the village of Lecrench, near Cologne, to operate in conjunction with the German am bulance corps. Each dog to sapplied with a saddle. In which are pockets containing all that is necessary for tbe first dressing o f a wound, atoo a large gourd o f brandy. W T O L O j i C Y E j t e stood on the bill across tangled wiped forehead with k erchief and stretched him self at full length on the sun baked turf. “ What weatherl” ■ A - ' i h e growled, fumb ling Idly with hla sketch book. “ Too hot to live, filmost, and only May! Thai g irl must be as mad as myself to think o f walking on a day like this.\ H e glanced down the winding path w ith a pathetic curiosity, unbuttoned his coat, nud fanned himself vigorous ly wl£b bis sketch book. Then he lay still for fully ten minutes. “ H a llo!\ The eJacu’aHou stilled a ponderous yaw u . llaslaud sprang ,to hla feet, pulled off hla coat spasmodically, and faced the girl with a flush of embar rassed pleasure. “ Mias Thorutou!\ “ 1-1 had almost abandoned all hopes o f ever seeing you again,” he began. “ You kuow I was away wheu you left, au d — ” “ And what are you doing here In the wilderness?” \T r y in g to kill two birds with the proverbial stone,\ he answered lightly. “ Endeavoring to earn a living uud get some fresh air at the same time, and farin g badly ou both sides. It’s too a n Aim e r was nusit.Y wohking . hot to work, and the heat wou’ t give the fresh air a chance. 1 suppose you’re staying lu the village, Eih—Mlaa Thorn ton ?’’ ' “ Yes, at the manor. I have a situa tion there for the summer.” BI ik looked down lit her dusty shoes, and Ilaslund realized with a little pang of pity that fortune waq still unkind to uer. Nile wus wearing me same plain, w h ite dress that she had worn the Hist tim e lie met her two summers before. “ Aud do you like your new position?\ be ventured. “ Oh, yea,\ She raised her head with • start. “ 1 am companion to a lady, and she le generally very good to me. I have not a great deal to do, but some times-— ” “ W e ll?\ asked llaslaud, with eager Interest, \She Is very Irritable at times. Poor soul! slie Is lonely, and 1 think she lias had a lot of trouble. I have been here nenrly four months, aud we have never bad it visitor. She lives lu London dur ing (lie winter, and 1 think Uer niece, M iss Colinore ---- \ llaslaud was huslly engaged In filling his pipe, but both pipe and tobacco poueli slipped from his fingers, and his teeth closed together with a snap, “ Miss what?” he gasped. “ Colinore, She was at the last draw ing room, you kuow, and they say she Is engaged to he married ta Lard Flsk- ertou. She Is coming to stay at the manor for a few weeks.” , H e rubbed Ids chin and gazed sway pensively toward the river. The girl held out her hand, but he did not notice It for a moment. “ I must really go, Mr. Hasland,\ she said. \U Is almost 4 o’clock. I cannot tell you hoiv pleased I am at having seen you ng:tln. I hope you are selling plenty of pictures?” “ I shall see you again,” he ques tioned, furtively evading her glance. “ I am staying at the Inn. Oh, yes, I am doing fairly well,” he went on, hastily. “ There are some charming bits of landscape down In the valley; It’s a regular artist’s paradise. But, Ethel— M iss Thornton— ” “ Good-by.” “ Au revolr, then!\ be answered, re luctantly, raising his cap. “ 1 shall see you again one of the days.” Stretched there lu tbe sweltering haze be mused with half-closed eyes over tbe days he laid spent In the shab by-respectable Loqdon boarding-house. E v e r y morning at 8:30 precisely the plaintive creaking of the uupalnted gate wonld draw him cautiously to his w in d o w to ws!cb tier set Out cheerfully to meet that monotonous unchanging round of toll “ Poor little girl!” he said, rising and picking up his sketch book. “And what a coincidence! I f I can see Kate the fates may take It into tbelr head* to •mne, after a ll” H * descended the hill whistling, and, crossing the common, reached the dusty road leading to the village. A rum ble of wheels and a rattle of har ness made him turn his head inquisi tively. and then * scene almost Identi cal with the one that bad taken place eu the hill half as hour before was enacted. “ Harold!” Hasland staggered under the hail of question* (hat followed, but struggled m a n fully to answer them. Giving the coachman orders to drive «k>wly, *be tripped down tod they walked oa side b y aide. “ H a v e yea seem Aunt C a r r ie r she place. I haven’t seen her or had a line since our mutual understanding and the battle that followed* 1 suppose she’* as flinty as ever?” “ P oor fellow” she said sympatheti cally. “ It must be a horrible experi ence to be cut off with a shilling or without even that; but I’m sure It would be Infinitely worse for both ot Us had we countenanced her pet scheme and married. 1 am very fond of you, Hal, but-— ” “ It would hardly have been a Darby and Joan existence, eh? W h at doc* aunt think about your engagement with Lord Flskerton?” “ She dldul like It at all at flrbt and gave me homilies by the hour ou my bAse UigratUmle in abandoning her lu her old age. She declared she would leave every penny she possessed to some home for lost donkeys, or some thing similar.” “ But she seems more contented since she got this new lady's cotnpaulou and 1 she uever writes me without lauding this person to the skies.” A sudden bend In the road brought them lu sight of the struggling village street, and both paused simultaneous ly. llaslaud was embarrassed and Irri tated. \ I —I wish you wouldn’t call Miss Thorutou a ‘person,’ Kate?” he blurted out, after an awkward puuse. “ Oh. you kuow her?\ \You see, lvate,” he stammered, with sudden resolution. “ I'd better make a clean breast of It, for after all you owe me something. The faet la, I ’ m In love with her—over head aud ears. She's had a rough passage, poor little wom an, but even taking that luto cousldi' eratlon, I cau’t usk her to marry me, my priueely salary being something like $1,000 a year. If you euu do noth ing else, be kind to her. Promise.\ “ Of course I will,” she answered. The old lady was not lu a pleasant temper. She motioned to Miss Thoru tou, who had beeu reading to hey, to lay down the hook. “ I thluk a little sunshine w ill do me no harm,” she said sharply. “ I,et us walk down as far as the river.” They crossed the quaint wooden bridge and turned down tbe shady palli under the willows. Near the gate that barred the pnlh stood au easel, and an artist was busily at work under the shade of an um brella. The recognition was Instantaneous, aud the old lady caught her breath gaspingly, while Hasland compressed Ills lliis. „ Then, for the third lime In the three days the little tableau was enacted. “ Harold,” she sulil besltatlugly. “ Aunt!\ The old lady stood Irresolute for a momentajid then extended both bauds, which Hasland caught in lila. That evening, Just at dusk, Harold Hasland and Ethel stood on the broad veranda together. Ilia arm was about her waist. “ It Is all so strange,” she whispered, “ that I can hardly realize It yet.\ “ It Is strange,” he answered, with a kins, \but it Is true for all that.” —Lon don Evening News. W hat Secretary Long Wanted. A t the recent Unitarian festival In Boston Secretary Long told this story: “ During the winter I went with the Presidential party to Savannah, where we were most likely nnd courteously received. Everything was done to make the visit pleasant. Ou Saturday after noon we were taken down the river, and on returning tbe chairman of ar rangements said: 'To morrow Is Sun day, and you will have the day to your selves. We have all sorts o f churches In Savannah, and you can go wherever you wish.’ 'Weil,* said the President, ’I am a Methodist, and I think 1 will go to the Methodist church.’ After the others had expressed their choice I said: ‘Have you not some little, strug gling Unitarian church here lu your city?’ 'No,' was Ills reply, 'but we have a run-down Episcopal church that It almost as bad.’ I did not accept tbe Invitation, for I wanted the pure, un adulterated \adness’ of our own de nomination.\ Making a Left-Handed Admission. Three citizens—one a lawyer, one a doctor and one a newspaper man—sat la a back room recently In the gray light of the early dawn. On the table were many empty bottles and a couple of packs of cards. As they sat In silence a rat scurried across the hearth Into the darkness beyond. The three men shifted their feet and looked at each other uneasily. After a long pause the lawyer spoke. “ I know what you fel lows are thinking,” he said; “ you think I thought I saw a rat, but I didn’t!** “ Tnmmy’e\ Derby Day Dinner Set. The silver dinner service used at the dinner given by the Prince o f Wales, hi accordance with an old custom, on the evening of Derby day 1* worth $ 200,000 and is a masterpiece of the silversmith’s art. Tbe guests on this occasion number forty-two and the service I* equal to company and the mens, which is tbe finest that can be devised by the Prince's chef. Only on* feature is singularly absent from the royal board. No finger bowl# are ever allowed os the table. C trlon Facts A boat CoW *. Cows loath ot the Ohio R iver will sot average above three pounds and four teen ounces of butter to the 160 pounds ot milk. The cow* of Texas only show 11 per cent, of solid* tn tbelr milk. Cow# through Indian* and the atrip naming east and west wfB product mffk that run* four and one-ha IT pounds Cow* in Minnesota and Msnb toba w ffl produce utttk that w B g irt out five pound# t a d five ounce# « f bat ter to the IflO pounds. I C i
