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About Big Hole Breezes (Jackson, Mont.) 1898-1915 | View This Issue
Big Hole Breezes (Jackson, Mont.), 06 Oct. 1899, located at <http://montananewspapers.org/lccn/sn83025326/1899-10-06/ed-1/seq-2/>, image provided by MONTANA NEWSPAPERS, Montana Historical Society, Helena, Montana.
L - % Foaalbly political combines a n called fto$s becao## they ore not aqw& Unfortunately tit* positing m a ts to take la thta boundary diaput* U oa ear aid* of th* line.* Ordinarily a bualnea* enterprise get* what It can individually, but when * troat la formed they get together. An Improved atyta of $2 bill I* t* be Uaoed. bat It will probably clip through the fiagera as easily a* the old kind. gome will aay a lace the shoemaker* and glovera are going to form trust*. US* nation may be further bound hand and toot in these thing*. The woman wbo married the lawyer who had won her ault for her probably thought ahe might juat aa well turn everything over tb blm in a lump. It la believed there la no law to fit the offense of that mother who flagged a faat train In order to reach the bed- aid* of the child ahe thought waa dy ing. Perhaps if William Waldorf Astor had known elevation to the peerage wa* Impossible he might not have be come a naturalised Britisher; he 1* In the attitude of the man wbo has pur chased a large-slsed gold brick. For nation*, aa for Individuals, enough Is as good as a feast. Appar ently some Englishmen think so, for the House of Commons applauded the assertion, repeatedly made by mem her* of both parties, that no one desires to add another square mile to British territory. gome people will be Just mean enough to rejoice over the statement of the couste d’Astorga, from whose fam ily W. W. Astor claim* descent, that there waa no Jean Jacques d'Astorga. who, a Huguenot, was born In France In 1044 and fled to Germany later, be coming the founder of the American Aatora. The count professes to be very sorry. He la aristocratic?; but poor, and a couainahlp with William Waldorf might—we don’t aay It would-prove to hla advantage. To no nation Is the openlug of twen ty-two of It* porta and harbors by Japan more Important than to the Uni ted Htates. Until Commodore Perry an chored United Slate* warship* In a Japanese harbor In 1854 and practical ly compelled a treaty recognlatug other nations, Japan bad been closed to the rest of the world. During the last twenty years no nation has made greater progress thin Jspsn. Novell Is ambitious to be counted a* one commercial nations. tbe Tbe story that comes from the Klou dike Is not so rose-colored as were the stories told about this El Dorado when the boom was on. The gold product of the last year Is reported to have been only $10,000,000, or one-half the amount estimated, and sickness and destitu tion are thinning out tbe adventurers. The gamblers are apparently the only successful gold seekers In the region. The statement that reports from Alas ka Indicate that more gold will be fouad there than will ever come out of the Klondike may, however, only mean that the transportation com panies reaching Alaska are endeavor ing to work up a boom for themselves at tbe Klondike’s expense. ' Tbe latest article of French political faith la, that “the army Is the life of the State.\ Nothing could bettor Ulus trate the bewilderment of the Ualllc In tellect Among really self-governing people tbe life of the State It supposed to reside In the brain end brawn of the cltlsens, without whose labor the army would be es destitute of life as a forgotten theological heresy. This In version of tbo truth Is, however, con genial to tbe Frenchman because the army Is spectacular, and nothing Is dearer to the tverage Parisian than a ■bow. Whether there is any reality or Sober truth behind the show is a ques tion which does not Interest blm. CuMlagbamo Graham, himself aancy Scot, thus gives the genesis of the modern Englishman: “Saxon sto lidity, Celtic guile, Teutonic dullness and Norman pride, all tempered with east wind, baptised with mist, narrow ed by Insularity, swollen with good fortune, and rendered overbearing by wealth, have worked together to pro duce the typo.”- Not by any means a good-natured sketch, or a strictly truthful one, but If moral and mental heredity is Insisted upon, the multiplex origin of English character must ac count for what I* strong and good la It aa well aa for what la weak and bad. Aa for English-America, tbe daughter gamaior of the world, absorbing almost every strata of Gentile blood. Tankee character la British plea two hundred and eighty years. The percentage of Illiteracy la higher la tha Southern Staten and New Mex ico and Arlaoaa than ta aay other sec tion of tbo country, That is due la the former^ the large namber of useda- eated adored people; la tbe latter to tbe Mexican popotottoo. Nebraska la tbe teaser State for edaeatfoau Only g.11 per cent of tb* poputetkm of over 85 ytara «ff age am aaaMe to read and Wyoming to aacoad. with a of M l ; tews third, 8.0. and ’ Tantas fourth. M Ooaaparod with M * the pereoatag* of ntaratoa to Mainaiktototi to - d Jd exactly that at MetomMra. la New Tarfc Etna* (1 to U l e a d to Oaamectteut • K t o t o k U l . la OMe f t t o U t and to Th* aertaaigtrt has a new champion la no lam a parson that Professor Cum mings or Harvard University, whoa* paper on the subject 1* tbe outcome of much research and thought Tbe ser- gaat girl question la an old oue; wom en hire tried to solve It but lu an uu- ayatematlc way, which bat resulted only In spasmodic reforms. Professot Cummings’ suggestion Is to place do mestic service In the line of a trade, governed by a union, which shall reg ulate hour* and scale of wages, and by which the rights of employers and ern- ployes shall be defined and protected. It la more and more becoming a recog- tolled fact that no advance can be made in domestic service until the assumed degradation-which at present attends It Is removed. Should servants uot re side In the house, but come dally to tbe duties which begin and finish at regu lar hours, It would give the sense of freedom and Independence now lack ing and convert the alleged tyrannised servant luto a self-respecting employe, with a better defined social status. Perhaps tbe time has come for men to take up the solution of a problem which women have failed to find, aud If more college men will give their time to It, as has Professor Cummings, we may look for a happy eudlug to a perplexing controversy. Already census statisticians are spec ulating ou the netv center of imputation of the United State* to be revealed by the couilng census. The steady west ward course of this Invisible point Tor the last half century makes it practic able to determine within reasonable exactness Its location next year. In 1850 it wns In West Virginia, south of Parkersburg. Thence It crossed luto Ohio at the uext census and traversed that State by slow stages until In 1880 It had reached Cincinnati. In 1890 It crossed into Indians, still close ly following the thlvty-uluth parallel, aud reached a point a few miles south of Greensburg. Its rate of progress westward has been ut about the aver age rate of five miles per year, having traveled 505 miles since the taking of the first census. At this rate of prog ress during the coming century It will cross Into Illinois. Some claim, how ever, that this Western march of popu- tatlon will be checked soon and that possibly the next census will mark nearly, if uot quite, its extreme West ern advance, Considering the growth of Western Htates and Territories, however, this does uot seem probable. It 1s more likely that the llhilt will he reached somewhere In Illinois the com ing century. Within a few decades Chicago will be the nearest the center of population of the United Htates of any city of consequence, and thus the star of empire will shine lu the zenith of the lulaud metropolis of the coun try. “For the first time la history,” writes lion. A. W. Tourgee, \the world’s ta bor Is able to produce more thau the world can consume.” This result has been reached by the application of nkt)\ed Industry to the development of the ample resources of nature tile gift of the All Father to Ills human chil dren. Inventive geulua-ptantlug, har vesting and manufacturing by me- chaulcal methods- hag made It possible for one man’s tabor to supply tbe means of life and comfort to hundreds; and the BRine luventlve genius, calling to Its help vast combinations of capital, has created conduits for the distribu tion and exchange of commodities over targe spaces of the*globe, by land and sea. Naturally, the nations that are most Intelligent and enterprising ren der the largest service and reap the largest benefits. Naturally, also, a small minority of any population be come captalna of Industry, and direct ors of the great financial operations which fill the sluices of business, and make tbe mighty wheels go round. This situation makes two thlngg possi ble. The strong and prosperous na tions have It In their power to crowd and oppress the lower or slower races that still make up the targe majority of mankind, and tbe few men whose genius for management, or advantage of position, places them In the lead, can compel their fellows to pay them undue tributes and to depend on them for permission to live ou the planet. In short, we have reached a condition where the human multitudes, by gen erous, equitable dealing, might live with less exhausting tabor and more rational happiness than ever before; and yet It 1s a condition where tbe self ish use of power may easily create new and cruel forma of tyranny and serf dom, which must be the seeds of con flict and revolution. It ta a good time for men and nations to ponder tbe principle of nobleBse oblige. It Is not tint tber ***** knew Weakness or fear who nr* the brevet r t m t n thi t fo n A W tfiftb tiy l e i Whose joy is still to serr* and sire. Bat they who, la the weary night, Amid the darkness sad the stress, Havt struggled with dlsesse and blight With pitiful werld-weaxiness. They who hate yearns to stand among The free, and mighty of the earth. Whose sad, aspiring souls are wrung With starless hope end hollow mirth— Who die with every dty, yet live Through merciless, unbrlghtened years, Whose sweetest right is to forgive And smile divinely through their tears; They are the noble, they the strong, They are the tried, the', trusted ones, And though their way Is hard and long— Straight to tbe pitying God it runs. —Harper’s Weekly. Rellc-PHfferlng Ministers. Col. Bingham, *uperlntendcnt of pub lie buildings and grounds, who has charge of the Washington monument, say* one of the greatest troubles the watchmen at tbe monnment have to contend with' ta tbe chipping of these memorial stones by relic hunters. “One of tbe strangest things la regard to-ths** rellc-buntors.’i-sald OoL ging ham, ‘1* the fact that more than one- half of tbe men arrested for chipping off relics sre clergymen. When the police arrest these despollers and start with them to the station bouse tbe man will begin to ask what 1s tbe pen alty sad try to beg off. He 1* told that the flue Is a heavy one, but that |1S security can be put up for appear- aaee la tbe police court Then the j prteoaer explains that he Is a minister [ of the gospel and meant no barm, tad j that he could not stand tbe disgraceI of appearing la a police epart He end* up by giving up tbe collateral, arter generally trylag to cut it down to $10, saying be has only that amount with him.”—New York Mall and Express. v t r t OU are still determined to spend y / your vacation with Grandmother Eton at the old farm,” said Mrs. Armstrong to her youngest duughtcr, who had returned home a few days previous from Vassal'. “Yes, mamma, 1 have given her my promise and 1 will uot disappoint her or auut Julia,” “I am sorry, as 1 am auxloua that you should speud the season with us at Bar Harbor.” “Yes, mamma, but' Essie aud Nell will he with you, aud they will make up for my loss.\ “But, my dear, what will Mr. Koyl- ston Bay, or what will he thluk of you! We gave him to understand that you would surely go, aud It will be u great dtaappolutiueut to him.” \Never tulud, mamma, Mr. ltoylatnn will succeed In gettlug Home oue to amuse him as well as 1 possibly could.’’ “Why, Lottie, how can you talk so wheu you kumv he adores you? There are few young ladles that would throw uway the opportunity that you ore now ilolug. Hubert Ttoystou la rich, luiuil- some, aud comes of a good family,” said Mrs. Armstrong. “Yea, aud cou- slders that he can take any girl's heart aud kick It “about like a footbull,\ add ed Lottie. Mrs. Armslrongwnahorrtfied, but slio kucw It would be useless to attempt to change her self-willed child, bo it wub settled that Lottie would spend her vacation' on the old farm. It wus up( Hubert ltoylstou’s fault that be heard- the above conversation, ns he Blit {Hi. the piazza near the loom where the mother and daughter were talking, It being Imponslble for him to get away without letting them kuow thut lie heard at least purt of their cou- versutlou. \Ho I take young girls' hearts and kick them round like a foot ball? Eh, that’s what my little spit fire thinks of me.’’ Half an hour ufter Bob Koylston left the A rmstroug, cot tage smokiug a cigar aud lu a medita tive mood. “This way, If you please, miss, I will get your traps aboard.” Lottie Jumped Into a comfortable twoscated carry- all, aud the hired limn, after stowing away the satchels aud lings, Jumped In and turned the horses’ bends towards the Eton farmhouse, a journey of five miles over the inonutalns. Miss laittle, sitting lu the rear seat, had ample opportunity to study Grand- nmthor Eton’s hired man. He had but little to Bay, Lottie doing the most of the talking during the drive over the mouutatuB. It was a warm and hearty welcome Lottie received from grandmother aud Auut Julia. But later on, wheu the latter accompanied her to her room aud assisted her In removing her wraps, It was evident that her mind was atilt ou the “hired man.” “Who Is he, Aunt Julia? Where did he come from? What ta hla name?” aud fifty other questions lu aa many seconds were asked by! laittle. Aunt Julia replied that he was ft poor stu dent, aud came up to tbe Profile House, where he expected to work, hut was disappointed, “lie asked us to take him for hla board aud give him any wages that we saw fit. He said his name was Edmund ltoberts and lie came from Plymouth, only he ta the best hired man we ever hand.” Prelty as a picture was I-ottle Arm strong aa she entered the dining-room of the old farmhouse that day. She barely noticed that the hired man was seated at the table, but was sensitive of the fact that his eyes were continu ally upon her. She scarcely looked up during the meal, but wben she did she felt that his eyes were looking through her. After dessert Mr. Huberts made a sim ple excuse about attending to busi ness, and left the ladles to themselves, much to Lottie's relief. “How far ta tbe Profile House from here, grandma?” \About five mllea,\ said Mrs. Eton. “Would you have any objection to Mr. Roberts driving me over there this afternoon?\ “Certainly not; order him to do any thing yon want done. Do not be timid In asking blm; he la accommodating. OKLAHOMA HARVESTERS RUN BY j^AN POWER. The farmers of Oklahoma have decided to do a wgy with horses to pull fhelr binders and reapers. At this day the machines can'be drawn so easily aud horse-* flesh Is at such a high price that it is cheaper to advertise for a gaug of tramps and hire them to pull the machines during the harvest. The first work of this kind was done on the big V101\ ranch, la the northern part of the Cherokee strip. “Joe\ Miller, the man who owns the ranch, saya that he haa hired teams from the neighbors to help him In bis harvest for mauy years, and that this year he hired twenty tramps, and the work was doue at just halrtke cost. In Okla homa the ranches are lo targe that no oue man owns enough horses to do the work, and in harvest time a horse is a scarce article and costs a great price. at the place where they had left their team the storm was at Its height To make matters worse, old Dobbin had broken hla halter and stArtcd for home. “What shall we do; O, what shall we do?” cried Lottie. “0, Robert; 0, 1 mean Mr. ltoberts; no, I mean Mr. ltoylston. 0, Robert, Bob, what shall we do?” and then, womanlike, fell In his arms lu a faint He lifted her lu his arms to a nook on the aide of the mountulu road, which sheltered them from the heavy lain, and when she recovered she fuuud his lmshy beard agalust her face aud hta great blue eyes looktug down at her. She could not help smiling wheu Bob ltoylston told her that he knew that she recognized him aliuoBt from the first day, but It took llgbtulug aud thunder from n clear sky to make her acknowledge It. But, of course, the clouds cleared away and the sun smiled down upon the lovers. Explanations followed, Lottie said the reuson she wouldu't go to Bar Harbor was ou account of a little flirtation that occurred betweeu Robert aud Aggie Larkin. He said the reason he did not go to Bar Harbor wus that he did not wnnt to make a “foot ball out of the girls’ hearts\ to kick atamt as lie pleased. But the fact that Grandmother Eton bad to get a new “hired man,” and that wedding cards had been Bent to t|je elite at Rar Harbor, the names of Miss Lottie Armstrong and Mr. Robert ltoylston being prominently men tioned therein, showed that a Imppy reconciliation had tuken place.—Bostou Post. Om nous. When Julia, Mrs. Blank's maid of all work, came to her mistress aud \gave notice\ because she was going to he married. Mrs. Blank said: “You know, Julia, that marriage Is a pretty serious thing.\ “Yes’iu,” replied Julia, “but not git tin' married Is a more serlouser thing sometimes, don't you thluk? Anyhow, was running about sixty mllea an hour, i\ud waa on w-hat ta known aa \Kate Shelley” curve, a half circle at the foot of a fifteen-foot grade. For a consider able time workmen had been at work reducing the grade and the curve, and it waa nearly completed when the ac cident occurred. The engine jumped the track and the train tore over and past It, stripping It clean. The express cars were wiped out, their fragments lying under the first mall car. The third mall car was nothing but a mass of kindling when It came to a rest at the edge of a cornfield The roof was lifted off and throwu twenty feet from the body of the car, turuiug upside down In Its flight. Oue of the most remarkable things about this part of the wreck wus tbe fact that five gas lamps which were suspended beneath the roof were not Injured. A* cap be sceu by tbe accompanying pic ture, oue end and a few feet of the sides were all that was left of the car. “Kate Shelley” curve Is Just west of Boone aud east of the Des Moines river. It Is named for Kate Shelley. Several yeara ago this girl crossed the Des Moines river lu a raging storm oo the girders of the railway bridge, that had been demolished by a freshet, and stopped a fast passenger train In time to avert a terrible accident. The girl was a national heroine, and was aplen didly rewarded by the railroad com pany aud the passcugera ou the train The curve Is a dangerous one, and for twenty years the company has watched It night and day to guard against wrecks. Trainmen lay stress upon the singular fact thut after tweu- ty yeara without au accident at that spot, aud only twenty-four hours be fore tbe curve and grade would have been greatly reduced, a catastrophe should have occurred to the fast mall uud four lives lost. Wheu the express and mall cars went tearing Into the euglue the engineer and fireman were Instantly killed. Practically nothing was left of the lo comotive except the boiler. Tbe cab T* 8* popular, a mas m e t be kept so tossy appending tbe feat* of other* that be ban a * tome to tccostplhih cay. 3e«tp to a cartridge flred b o a tbe gB flC M feflffiM R y . at iN taaM t tort marry Jwtflhei It did not take him long to get old Dobbin bitched up, and tbe look he gave Miss Lottie tx'hen she asked him kept her thinking where she saw Mr. Roberts before, but the heavy dark beard deceived her. Nearly every day some of the many places of interest la the New Hamp shire hills were visited. So much time Old Lottie take of the hired man that another band was employed to do the rough work. One afternoon they started off on n huckleberry expedition. They were warned by Grandma Eton that there was s storm In the air. and to be care ful. But the ana shone so brightly that no heed wns taken of her warn ing. Twas late la tbe afternoon wben a Bttie speck appeared in tbe sky, bat tt grew wonderfully fast and black. Little drops of tain commenced to faS, sharp flashes of lightning made the iky vivid, while the roll of thunder made fbem think heaven’s artillery was loose. Peal spas peal faflewed set after the ether, and the tato fel Tbe benyplekers ms at tbe Irat Mgi •f tb* atom bat wbe* they arrived WRECK OF TH E FAST MAIL. It’ll be as serious for blm as for me If we don’t gtt along all right. But then, ■s you say, glttln’ married 1s about the serlouseBt piece of blzneas a body can Ingage In, an’ mebbe I am a fool an’ mebbe he’s a bigger one. There’s no tellln’. It’s a turrlble solemn thing, as I reckon you've found out by this time. Like enough 1’U sip sorrow, but so will he, tbat'B one comfort.\—De troit Free Press. Prophecies o f Mother Bblpton. An Interesting fact whleh may not be generally known ta that the things and events predicted by Mother Shlpton In 1448 have alf come to pass except that referring to the ending of the world In 1881. The latest fulfillment of the aeeress’s predictions Is the successful use of the automobile. Here ta the text of the famous prophecy: Carriages without horses shall go, And accidents fill the world with woe. Around the world man's thoughts shall fly In the twinkling of an eye. Waters shall yet more wonders do. How strange! but yet they shall be true. The world upside down ibiU be, ____ And fold be found at the root of a tree. Through hills man shall fide. And no horse or sss be at hta aide. Under water man shall walk, Shall ride, shall sleep, shall talk. I d the air men shall be seen la white, ta black, ta green. Iron on the water shall float Aa easily as a wooden boat. Gold ahull be found and shown In lands now not known. England shall st last admit a Jew, And lire end water shall wondera do. Tbe world to an end shall come In eighteen hundred and eighty-one. was cleaned off the frame and the driv ing wheels twisted under tbe holler. The front truck was found In the corn field, 150 feet from the track. The en gine remained well up on the embank meat. One of the trucks of an express car, hy one of those curious tricks which appear In nearly all great catas trophes, remained firmly on the track, and ran, under Its own momentum, as far as the bridge over the river. PICTURES OF A WRECK. l a i i b a p N a ar B o c a e , Iow a * th e Moot Com p lete on R e cord. Loot* L. Troy, of Chicago, superin tendent of the sixth dlvtaton. railway maB service, has photograph* of what to mid to be tb* most complete wreck to the btotory of the eervlee. The smaXh-ap to that which overtook tbe Ohfcag* and Northwestern faat mXfi Into on Motogont hlB. near Boone, town, tbe morning of Ang, i la tbto wreck fear men wen kStoi aafl Mx to- Jvefl. Thettotecanatotedof n * * f ll**,tw * acpna* can, and few toiM It Wanted the Letter, fihe confronted him at the breakfust table. \George I want that letter In your pocketbook. I’lease give It to me. Don’t refuse.\ A guilty look swept over his face, aud lie answers hoarsely:.“W.-what letter, my dear?” \Why a V; but If yon coaid make It an X It would do Just a* well. I ’ve got some shopping to do.\ Aud he is so grateful at the hair breadth escape that he makes It a X X . —Chicago News. He Rebelled. “They say Burton and hi* wife hsra separated.” \Yes. They expect to be divorced In a little while.” “Wbat’s the trouble?* “Oh, they quarreled because she re fused to go away for the summer un less he went aiong.”—Chicago Tlmes- Herald. A Oeurpoas Man. “I see by the newspaper*,” remarked Reeder, “that tbe miner* to the Klon dike *re tending oat appeal* for wive*.” “I* that *o?\ ejaculated Hennypeck, In an eager whisper. . “They can hare mthe.”-Loodon Tlt-BRa. SUPPO S E \ W B B U L K . h u m o a o u * P a r a g r a p h s fr o m THE OOMIO PAPERS. A sitrl-.** Polyglot People. Tfcett *m »o many languages (pokes to the pra-rince* of Aworto-H angary that Interpreter* era employed to the vtrion* parliament* t* interpret tb* speeche« of the delegate* gad — hy them teiefflgfbte to Ml the member*. . Wben i woman ttkee t baabnad far better or for woraa, jfc* nearly alwnjt Hew i we forget tbe Reepl* wb* Pleasant Incidents Oecarviag th * W a rid Overr Aax l a g * th a t A re Cheer ful to DM o r I o u g - V a u r Selec tions th a t Everybody WIU KaJoy.' t*l bare nine invitation* to dinner.” \What will yon do .about them?” “I’m trying to trade eome of them off for Invitations to breakfast.\ The Mormon's t Ittte Joke. Tourist (at Salt LakejL-But think of the tin In having seven wive*. Mormon—You forget, brother, that I am ruled by seven wive*. Tourist—What ha* that got to do with it? Mormon—A good deni. Don’t you know, brother, a person under seven I* not responsible for what he <loe*? , D enser, Quinn—Dick's father must be a rail road man, De Fontt—'Whet makes you thluk »o? Quinn—Because when Dick lost on the race* and wrote home for money hi* father replied ta four word* De Foute— What were they? Quinn-Keep off the track. A Hard World, Old lady—Goodness! How danger ous It Is to go up In a bnlloou. Balloonist—Not half as dangerous a* ft Is to couie down, ma'am. A Patron of L iteratu r e Uiiatomer-l want to get a pocket dic tionary. Bookseller—W hat sort of * one would you like? Custouier-Oue with * good mauy pocket*. Not Lika (he Admiral. Hai\taore--They *ay that big cab bage at t\ie fair I* the biggest ever raised lu the HI ate. Craw foot — Yes; aud they wanted to cull It ‘Dewey,’ but somebody raised au objection. Ilardacre-W h at fur? Crawfoot Kaid a big head didn't sound well with the uame Dewey. Cores fo r Insom n ia. “Jonas, the newspaper said that If you hold your breath you cau get to Sleep. ” “Martha, you hold yours, aud let's »ee how that works.” T wo o f a K lad. \It’s simply Impossible for ms to find bread for my family,\ said the loafer. “Hume way here,” remarked the gro cer. “1 have to work for It.” It (Iocs W ithout ci x I d i . Clara-One can't believe a word the men say any more. Maud-Why not? Clara-W ell, there's Jack ; he promis ed faithfully never to tell any oue if 1 would permit him to kiss uie jusi once, and In less thau a minute be lied re peated It. The Old, Old Btorr, Bhe—Have you sent any of your poem* to the magazine*? He—Ye*, but merely a* a guaranty of good fullb aud not necessarily for pub lication. Theoretical* Young married woman- Do you be lieve tbat those women who write for tbe paper* telling how to manage hus band* get along better with their hus band* than we do? Experienced friend—Nonsenae, dead They are not married!—Unsere Ge»ell- Icliaft. \ Ooe Negative Vote “Do you think women should pro pose” asked the sweet yonng thing. “No, I don't,\ returned the cynical old bachelor. “It's dangerou* enough for’ a single man aa It la.\—Chicago Evening I’ost. F e r i r t o W M Kies, U k yon't* looking jfflH,” n»M tb* chronic borrower-w * a acqngtnxnnc*, . \Ye#.\ replied the other, “end I »t- trlbnt* to the fact that I have re cently given up my wortt habit.'.’ \Indeed! And what wa* that?” ask ed tbe c. b. *T gnv* np giving tip,” was tbe to- onlc reply. A Fow lbl* Re*«o«. *T dbn’t sc* wby a woman 1a nlway* holding up her skirt with one k*ud,'i growled Blckett ‘ \I suppose,” replied Mr*. B.. \It's be cause she ha* no trousers pocket to carry her hand around lu.’’ Retribution. _ Weak. , \Jan e . 3rd you break the china plate? “Yes’rn. Yoo got taken In with that plate, mum. It'* a weak one. It broke the fourth time l dropped It.\—Boston Traveler. The kid ou the end aeat— I'll bet the wtahe* now she'd let we hug her!—New York Journal. Very Har.t. Lady—Oh, conductor! the baby ha* swallowed the nickel I was about lo baud you. Conductor—H’m! tha(’» pretty hard fare for a baby. Mao Overboard Btubb—They aay Quinn's girl threw him overboard. 1‘euii— Yes. but ahe dropped blm a Hue afterward aud he whs saved. Down villi tha Wires. “Pbwat do yez uiaue hy pulliu' all th’ wolres olit av me bonnet, Larry ? \ “Dl'w actin' under th' demand av all good cttlsen* of Chicago, Norah.” “Are yea sluses goue? I'hwat do th’ dtizeus dernond?” “Thot all overhead wolres must go.\ Through Train. “I Inherit uiy sporting blood from uiy father,” said the youth with Ihe purple band ou Ills bat. “lie went,, through with ten thousand lu a week.\ “Indeed!” responded the gentle girl. “Did lie go through to Mexico or Can ada ?” tfla Impression. Doctor My rule la, “Be sure you're right, aud (lieu go ahead.” Friend Indeed? .1 thought II wa», “Wheu lu doubt, perform au opera tion.”—l ’uck, Much Ktrnck with tt. New arrival from city--Wow, ouch! Farmer Jones - You needn't mind that. It's only some of the city folks playing golf.- New York World. In Old svsan. The proud Don aud the hearty Amer ican met In the cafe. “After all, we Americana— ’’ began th* tatter. It would sound better the other way, aeuor,” Interrupted (lie Don. “Why uot HHy, 'We Americans are af ter all; are after everything; are after the whole, whole world'?” And there’was a tinge of bitterness that even tbe sweet wine \could uot veil. Jn s l 1 hink of It, Tommy Bcrogglus I’d hale to he dat two headed boy at de museum. Jimmie Wiggins—He has lots o’ fun. Tommy Berogglna—1 know dat. but Jea1 t’lnk o’ havin’ two faces to warsli. - Ohio State Journal. P r v 'e r r t l thr I'nnl.h ntnt. “I shall expect you to tell the w hole truth,” said tbe justice to tbs colored culprit. “De w hole truth, *ah?” \Yes.” “Jedge, des gimme six mouths!”— Atlanta Constitution. W a k taa It Flvln. Tomtom- Sir, you evidently think I'm Just an ordinary chump. Buazfuaz—On the • contrary, I thluk you’re an extraordinary oue! K iusal City Independent. a h« Old Mso’i Retort, “You don't hal'e. any ruins lu this blawsted country,\ said the British scion to bis future father In law. No,\ said the old man, “we don’t. And yon won’t have auy left In Eng land If your noble army of titled pau pers can marry enough *rlch Yankee girl* to put new' roofs on your Infernal old castle*.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Row ta Drvw 1 beat. “Did yon bear about tbat New York woman who gave $100, Out) to a man wbo rescued her from drowning T’ “Yet. I f there were more women like tfiat at the seashore, they would never j have to deplore a tack of men ai the resorta.”—Chicago Tltuea-Herald. AvetAia-v Exert'vv. “Oom Paul la a man of few words,” remarked rbe man who talks wise. “WelA” answered the flippant friend, ’yon take a look at some of the word* in n Dn cb dictloagry and yon wont blame him.”—Washington Star. l a New Y o r k 's F s a r I s a 4 n i \What a remarkably energetic weae- tn Mrs. Glitter toT “Isn't ahe? 1 sever kaew her I* ■bow slagftebaeM bat tote*.” 1 “When was that?” { “Why, after tbe got her first A ren* (be let tv * whole <flgys' by trfar* she married tyring—Ckvefcii ttootei; * . | “Dead\ L a u r a s m . Tltfre are certain language* which, although they are aril! spoken and wrttten In, are to all Inteuts aud pur poses dead. For insrance, Icelandic !■ practically Identical wHh the dead Norse language, out of wbtt-h the Scan- dluavlan tongue* have grown. Bo. too, Provencal, tbe ancient language of Provence, and the speech In which the Troubadours sang, bss now sank is the level of a patois, although a certain French literary school Is making ef forts to revive H as a literary langudlce. Hebrew, again, though still spoken, hf to all Intents and purposes dead in the sense that Greek sod Latin are. Cor nish, Manx and the old mysterious Ro many tongue are also example* which should be mentioned to this connection. w i n - to g a P -tw e e n . Berlin bes added sign pateters u the flgffy Incrsastaf Hat of wanes wtw work m men's trade*. TheM vnmea have aerv«d a regular apprenticeship ---------- ‘t fnrtotog. so that #Mr nerve vhti* they v * ooe u»* ■ a a d t o i A m L a A i f l i i i a
