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About Fallon County Times (Baker, Mont.) 1916-current | View This Issue
Fallon County Times (Baker, Mont.), 14 Dec. 1916, located at <http://montananewspapers.org/lccn/sn84036037/1916-12-14/ed-1/seq-6/>, image provided by MONTANA NEWSPAPERS, Montana Historical Society, Helena, Montana.
~ />'-vG =*-> '/•fVV'V «S* Z “ ^ \ 1>'X v * . -■ 4 VJ''*.’ ir r* C O U N T Y T O C ® ’*• -'Ci' Father Time had Keen swinging his ^ t r u s t y scythe for 20 long years, when S2&!:they accidentally met again. He was ..bachelor of forty-five, bald and l|pfsllghtly disfigured, but still in the Sf/ring. She a spinster, fair and forty, |f*^butvnot as fair as she used to be. .-\Do you remember,” she gurgled, ¿¿.-h o w you proposed to me the last ¡.¿¿time we met. and I refused you?” ji.v.,-“ Well, I guess yes,” he replied. “It V.^ls the happiest recollection of my ..(•life.” ];!v . And seeing it was a hopeless case, «he meandered along her lonely way. Riding a Hobby* “ Spinks is back from his vacation already.” • “Yes. He says he had the time of ¿ his life.” ¿ ‘A round of gaiety, I presume?” ___ , “ Nothing *of the sort. Spinks is a ¿¿stamp collector. He met another v crank with the same hobby. They sat ^¿^around ibr ten days discussing stamps and then Spinks came home.” __________________ _ w '•i?' w Rather Antique. - l __ Gunn—I have, just succeeded in per fectin g an invention that will revolu- ¿tidfilzeThodern warfare. Dunn— So? What is the nature of r : K it? l Gunn—A powder that’s absolutely . noiseless. Dunn—Pshaw! That’s old; women have been using that brand for centu ries. “Did your husband 1 en ve y oiTTmiclf when he died?” “He didn’t leave me much more than when he was alive.” Little Diversions. He plays a little poker And golfs a little, too; And yet they take up so much time He nothing else can do. BANDSMEN IN DEMAND 1 “ f ♦ , Uncle Sam Needs Themlo CKeer^ Men on Fighting $hipfe$|? Painful Recollection. “ I suppose when you contemplate your books they recall many happy hours to you,” said the bibliophile. “Pm afraid not,” answered Mr. Dub- walte. “ You surprise me.” “It’s this way. Whenever I look_at those books the first thought that oc curs to me is the hard time I had paying the installments on them.” Continuous Struggle. \I understand Mrs. Gadders’ gowns are creating a sensation at the resort where she is staying this summer.” “So they are.\ - “I presume she is well pleased with herself.” “Oh, a woman can never rest on her laurels where clothes are concerned. Each day dawns ushers in a new bat tle for sartorial supremacy.” APPLICATION. Those Loving 'Girls. * Hazel—Young Dashley proposed to me lust night, but I couldn’t think of marrying him. He’s too fresh. Aimee—That’s the one reason of all others why you should marry him, dear. --Hazel—Why, what do-you-mean.?. Aimee—The union of extremes usu ally makes a satisfactory average. Common Type. “1 don’t believe I have ever known a more consistent optimist thun Dub- walte.” “Well, Dubwaite is like a lot of oth er optimists.\ “How Is that?” “He doesn’t care how much he wor ries his friends and relatives, just so he doesn’t put himself out.” “Say.'Ragsy, what does ‘procrastina tion’ mean?” “To put off.” “Then we was procrastinated from that train yesterday.\ A Swift One. He fan for trains, ’he ran for boats. He ran for office, too, they say; He ran to business, ran to lunch. Then ran In debt—and ran away. Not a Free Lunch. “I say, waiter,” queried the seedy chap as he climbed a stool at the lunch counter, “what can you give me for breakfast?\ “I can’t give you anything.” replied the man behind the white apron, “but I can let you have ham and eggs for a quarter.” Provided For. “I understand that many celebrities eat here.” “Yes, this is a restaurant noted for that” . “ Still, celebrities are not, as a rule, generous to the head waiter.\ “That’s true, but he fares quite well at the hands of people who cprae here to see the celebrities.” Limited Understanding. “It does “seem queer;\- remurked- the party who seemed to be thinking aloud. “What seems queer?\ asked the In nocent bystander. “That after getting a man in hot wa ter a woman can’t understand why he should boll over,” explained the noisy thinker. Merely a Suggestion. “Yes,” she murmured sweetly, “I have seen twenty-three summers.” “It is just possible,” suggested the n.atter-of-fact young man, «that if you were to consult an eye specialist he might be able to do something for you.” A Hopeless Case. “ Papa says,” remurks the fluffy- haired girl, “that he will never cofisent to our marriage until you’re able to support me.” “Great Scott!” exclaimed the poor, but otherwise honest young man. “Does he want his only Uuuglner to die an old maid?” GOOD IDEA. Postponed Pleasure. “Is that the Gadder family out In their new car?” “No. That’s Gertrude Gadder and a Oparty of friends» Mr. and Mrs. Gad- —\der -as well as the juvenile members .\of the family, hope to enjoy a few . -’ rides when Gertrude has paid some ;” of hpr obligations to society.” Acquired Talent. s“Maw,” said the small son of a pugl- list, ‘‘paw isn’t a natural-born fighter, 1 b Tie?” “Of course he is,” replied the rnoth- e r f W h y do you think he isn’t?” “Well,”, answered the^young hopeful, • *1* heard Mrs. Neighbor say that he ■ ■ Acquired the knack of fighting si neb lie •¿married you.” Nothiri' Doin'. . “In the last dozen of eggs you sent me,” ^ald the lady customer, who np- •• peered to be peeved, “there were two ones. Will you make them good?\ • ‘W hat! Make two bad eggs good?\ the . 'astonished merchant, do you think .1 am—a magi- ¿ V ' Whnt; jJwTì \ vi 11'.$,** v «Ian? Paw'* Gpod Guess, 1 lU l i p O M . ’ W M TO First Suburbanite— What do whan you haven’t your rent when landlord comes around? Second Suburbanite— Untie the dog in the front yard. you do t the More About Mary. Mary ordered porterhouse. But It made her shiver When she found the butcher had Sent two pounds of liver. Could Be More Expensive. ‘‘Some of those oriental tnonarchs have a, grqut many wives.\ “True.\ ’ “That’s a rather expensive wuy to live.\ - , . . “ So It'is. but I don’t suppose any of those,potentates are so foolish ns to present, each wife with an individual. Musicians, Playing Popular Alriferof Day, Enliven the Vessels of Navy and Lighten Work of the Jackies. -¿s % - ‘ it1 Modern armies do not march Into, action with bands playing, but Uncle. Sam has found music to be a very es sential feature of life on his big ^bat tleships, and with the constructioiT of. the many new vessels recently author ized, he is making a special effort'àt all navy recruiting stations to ènllst, men with some musical training.’ \¿i The life of the navy musiejnns is varied. They start the day b y s u r - -rounding the flagpole and playing “The ¿Star-Spangled Banner” as- the colora Tirerai sëd~ At eight o’clock they-start- playing and continue for one hour. At noon they play *■ œ another hour and; at night they gi ke a concert from 7 :80 to 8:45 o’clock. At sunsr-. they sur- “roùn~d“~Hx\e—flagstaff—an4-again— play/ “The Star-Spangled Banner” as the'col ors are lowered. The musicians enlive T the life of the entire ship. In case of war they play stirring patriotic airs when attack is. made upon the eneuy, and in time of peace they lighten the labors of thé jackies by playing the popular music of the day.. In the evening after work is- done the band starts its concert, and the men, grouped about the main deck, dance, clog and arrange Impromptu en tertainments., When the crew is coal ing the bandsmen play, and the music cheers them and has a tendency to fa-’ cilitate and expedite the work. Skilled musicians can enlist in the second class, which pays $33 a month and maintenance. Yoirng men between the ages of - eighteen and twenty-one,; who'have a. slight knowledge of-music^ can enlist under the classification,of. landsmen for ¿musician. These men-are paid $17.50 a month and “found,” to use the nautical expression. From the recruiting stations they are shipped‘to Newport, R. I., or Norfolk, Va., where they tare schooled for six months and then assigned to ships. _______ Mpre Yellow Metal Here Than Any Nation Ever Pos- w sessed. HU TRAIN OVER MILE LONG On« Hundred and Thirty-Four Freight Cars Would Be Needed to Trans port Uncle Sam’s Store or' Bullion and Coin. After two years’- service the men are given opportunity to be examined for promotion. First-class musicians are paid $39.50 and bandmasters get $57.- 20 . Wear Yellow Hosiery to Keep Mosquitoes Away. “ Wear yellow and bZuff the’ , mosquito,” is the slog&n of j scientists who are fighting this i little pest and. who have discov- j ered the carnivorous insect’s an- i tlpathy to that—primary—cblor.-^ Their discoveries\ are supported i by the testimony of Uncle Sam’s \ Ujarines, just returned from the Philippines, who attribute their immunity from . mosquito-bite and malarial infection to the fact that their khaki uniform is of a yellow hue.' The wise, summer vacationist of the future, it is expected, will bear in mind this message of' hope from scientists and United States marines, and carry along a generous supply of yellow hosiery. CLOTHING OUTPUT INCREASED Value of Women's Apparel Manufac tured In United States in 1914 Closs to Half Billion Dollars. The value o f women’s clothing manu factured in the United States in 1914 approached close to half a billion dol lars, according to Uncle Sam’s census statistics on the industry just made public. The exact figures for 1914, ac cording to Uncle Sam, were $473,889,- OOj), including the output of contract shops as'well as regular clothing fac tories. This represented an Increase of 23.4 per cent, as compared with 1909, when the value o f the output was $384,752,000. The largest part of the entire output was included under the heading of suits, skirts and coats, the value of which was $229,490,000. Shirtwaists and dresses represented a value of $153,117,000, under-garments and petti coats $52,377,000 and wrappers and house dresses .$18,491,000,_ The indus try provided employment for 179,884 persons in 1914, us compared with 163,- 644 in 1909. /..Uncle Sam for some time has had iu his vaults at Washington more gold than was ever before assembled in the- treasury of any nation at any time-in the history-of-the-world.—This record was established when the gold \reserve at Washington reached a total of $1,000,000,000, but even this high- .water mark has been more than . » Ai -doubled,—the—gold^/reserv.e—recentlyr having passed the $2,000,000,000 mark. Gold weighs 3.68 pounds to the $1,000. Two billion dollars in gold, therefore, weighs 7,360,000 pounds or approximately 3,345 tons. ' Allowing 55,000 pounds to the car, it would re quire a freight train of 134 cars to carry this- reserve - o f $2,000,000,000. This number of cars, 40 feet to the car, would make a train 5,360 feet over all not including the engine, consid erably over a mile in length. ... The amount of gold now in Uncle Sam’s vaults is in striking contrast to the conditions that have prevailed at some other periods in the history of the country. Low in the Year 1$?6. In 1896 the treasurer of the United States had a hard time to keep the legal amount of 1$1QO,000,000. in the treasury, one time ‘it- fell as -low as $44,563,493. The bankers of the- United States had to take a hand and make voluntary deposits of geld with the government to keep the gold reserve intact. June 1,1879, when species payments were resumed, following jthe suspen sion causedrby~CIvll^waT“ Condltiohsr there was $96,262,850 in gold in the vaults of the government. “The gold reserve '-has been the cause of .much- concern,” said Daniel N. Morgan, treasurer of the United States, reporting the condition -of the treasury in 1896, “and has been main tained only^at a cost of a fresh, issue of bonds and by the voluntary con tributions of.banks and financial insti tutions. With the exception of a brief period in the\ autumn of 1895, and an other in the spring of Ï896, the ruling rates, of foreign exchange were such throughout the year as to permit, if not to require the export of gold. Low Level Was Reached. “Under'this drain the reserve shrank gradually; sank until, February 10, 1896, when It stood at $44,563,493. It was then rapidly built up from the proceeds of the sale of bonds, then rose to $128,713,709 by March 31. After inconsiderable variations In the reserve during April, the export of gold was resumed on May 1, and this movement, together with the contin ued withdrawal not for export, again put in operation the process of deple tion. There was an almost dally de cline until July 23, when the official figures of the reserve were $89,669,- 775. At this point the bankers of the principal cities joined together In a movement of relief, the result being that the. banks and financial institu tions deposited gold’ in exchange for paper currency, and restored the re serve.to $110,782,403 by August '4. - “After discontinuance of the opera tions, the free gold again declined gradually to $100,957,561, where it stood September 1. In the latter half of August, there occurred a fqvorable turn.in foreign exchange, which had the effect, first, of_checking the out flow of gold. and. later, of setting In motion a rapid current in the opposite direction.\ Nèw York \ Discovers It\Has\ tKë Nèrvieét THief • ’ ” — ; ------ - — :— ' ' r* ,■ '\V . N EW YORK.-;-John R. Hegeman, president of the. Metropolitan Life Insur ance company^\ has met the nervie^L.horny-handed soh .of toil that ever* escaped violence at the hands of a mob or jail at’the hands of the' law. Till* interesting person, went Into Mr, Hegeman’s offleè/and, under the presi dent’s very .'nose stole from the life insurance company. One morning a stocktly built \ young man went to the janitor :of the . MètropOlltnn building, at-1 Madison avenue, and demanded an assistant. “! ¿\vant to take down some awnings and awning rods,\ he said. Thç janitor looked at ’hlm quite casually and told him that he didn’t have a man' to \spare for that wort. The stocky man, who was clad in overalls and a jumper^ appeared to be very much disgusted, but announced that he-would-do-the-job-alonel -------- ul ___ _________________ As nearly as could be learned he began, operations on the fifth floor. He went into an office there and/removed thé awning rods from several windows and-tlien-he-went'to^theLfloora b o v e a n d w e r itln t o theoflice'of'R o b e r t'E . Livingston. Mr. Livingston asked what he wanted and he saidHtbat he had come to remove the awnings. . “But they were removed two days ago,\ Mr. Livingston said; “I know they were, but I want the rods,” the industrious one responded. - Mr. Livingston thought it was so-unusual that.*he'.called up the super intendent of the building and the latter said he Supposed it was all right. By the time Mr. Livingston finished his conversation the man had removed the rods from two windows,, working rapidly. ^ Then he went to the general offices of the insurance company. On the plea that he wanted to take down the awnings he was permltfëd^to énter the private office of Mr. Hegeman. There he also [worked swiftly,-but removed the rods, leaving the awnings flapping labout pver :the windows. From Mr. Hegeman’s office he went to thé offices of several o f the vice presidents of the company and did the same thing. Two days later Mr;-Livingston met the building superintendent. “Why did you go to the trouble to remove' the awning rod* the- other day?” Livingston asked him. “We didn’t go to the trouble, someone else did,” was the reply. • “Why on earth would anyone want to remove awning rods?” Mr.\ Livings ton persisted. ». “Because the awning rods-In-thls-bulldlng are made of bronze and. not óf Iron,” the superintendent said. “ They are quite valuable and that stranger, garbed as a laborer, knew it. He took about $50'worth of rods out during the course of an hour and some of them from Mr. Hegeman’s private office. That man had more nerve than any soldier in the trenches.” GIRLS TO SECURE RECRUITS Officers in Charge of One of Uncle Sam’s Enlistment Stations Adopt New Tactics. Officers in charge of Uncle1 Sam’s army recruiting office In San Francisco caused 'something of a flurry recently when they advertised .in the newspa pers for \twelve girls for the United States army.” An inquiry enlisted the iuformatlon. however, that the girls were not expected to shoulder rifles, but were to aid the recruiting office iu sccuriug eulistments for the army. The advertisement specified that they must- be “attractive, intelligent and industrious,\ held out the induce ment that here was a chance to \make money and do your country a service,’’ and concluded with the warning that “no trlflers need apply.\ The women recruiting agents will ho paid $1 for «very.‘recruit they obtain. ' ’ WAR BlS&STS GLASS BUSINESS More Sand Used in Industry in This Country In 1915 Than Ever Be fore, Uncle Sam Reports. Uncle Sam finds that the glass indus try of tills country has increased many fold since the outbreak of the Euro pean war; first, because the imports into- this country; have been cut- off, and, second, because this country is now exporting much more than before the war. An Increase in the quantity of glass sand .used In this cquntryjn J.915 over 1914 may be explained, in part at least, by the Increased activity of the gjass industry. Tlie production’ of glass sand in 1915 was 1,'884,044 short tons, val ued at $1,606,640. This Is the largest quantity ever reported by the geologi cal survey, which has just recently completed its annual statistical work on sand and gravel, • Molding sand was produced in very much greater quantity in 1915 than in 1014, owing’to the foreign demand for vast supplies of machinery and .muni tions requiring the casting .of metal which called for the use of molding sand in large amounts. The total pro ¿uctlon of molding sand 'throughout the United States as reported to the survey was 3,585,746 short‘ tons, val ued at $2,i23.203. - The ‘ survey found that the' total quantity, of \sand and gravel produced In 19l5'‘\'flS 18.603,303 thort tons, yr ! Ml »t.'$^2L 6 1 7 ./:^<--* Testing the Brightness of Chicago Freshmen C HICAGO.—Freshmen In the University of Chicago must“ Undergo_ mental tests-to determine just how-bright they are. After that has beep ascer tained they are expected to- maintain -the same standard throughout their entire college course. Stopwatch in hand, Dr. Hfenry B. Kitson stands over each student and reads a passage from a book. The .student must re peat it. Then the student must read a passage from a book and repeat it without looking at the book again. A number of letters -with different ad dresses are given him and he must ar range them alphabetically. The time required for these and other tests fix his. mental powers. ------ Here is-the-cro.wnlng_test_of_all, ______ — --------------------—-— - however. A number of short sentences are read to the student. Within one second he is expected to indicate by \yes” or “no” whether the statements .ade in the sentences are logically correct or not. Here are a few samples: “He was seventy..and, looked twice that' age.” “He lit his cigar with these words,”. “With one hand he caressed herewith the other he spoke.” “ On his helmet waved the missing plume.” “Two adversaries were .placed at equal distance from each other.” “Freshmen are not allowed to wear soft collars or cuffs on their trousers.” “I have never had* any children and my mother was afflicted in the* same way.” “The woman finished dressing in her evening clothes and came down to breakfast.” Doctor Kitson said-he had found one-half of the- students judge such matters correctly. It Is Intended by this plan to ascertain the mental horse power of each student so that the quick ones may not get off with too little work and the slow ones may not be overburdened. ow//. Philadelphia Lobster Puts on His Own Cabaret - -------------------- P HILADELPHIA.—The pet cat-was in the kitchen of Inifeld’s restaurant shortly after- four o’clock the other afternoon, when the cook’s helper placed on the floor a basket of lobsters he had just taken from the storeroom. — A lobster crawled out of. the basket and the cat juihped for It. The lobster became indignant when a paw struck his shell. The big claw was landed on the cat’s tall. Emitting ear-splitting wails, the cat raced' up stairs and Into the dining room. Miss Eva Seidler-had brought her Boston terrier, Gus, Into the Restau rant with her. He was tied to her chair. When the terrier saw the cat and the lobster he got .busy. \So did the lobster. The do£ made for the cat. The lobster grabbed him by a hind leg. Howling, the dog made a jump and pulled the chair from under Miss Seidler. Miss Seidler fainted. William Mullen, the head waiter, ran upstairs when he heard the screams. Cat, dog and lobster got tangled with Mullen’s feet and threw him. Then the dog got to snapping and the cat to scratching, while the lobster just hung on. The restaurant was in an uproar. Every person had something to ’ sug gest. N o jw o suggestions were jillke. One man thought the reserves should be called out. Manager Louis Bernard got a club and when he got a chance to use it persuaded the lobster to let go. A physician revived Miss Seidler add the cat went downstairs. ! Gotham Office Boy Falls Victim to Efficiency at EW-YORK.—The New York joffice boy, being, after all, only a human in- Iv stitution, is about to .increase his efficiency. He has yielded at last to the efficiency man, who, starting with the boss, has\succeeded In reforming every thing in the shop down to the office cat. With 5,000 office-boy jobs going begging, you might‘think that the boys that are now holding down jobs would . feel pretty secure—but that’s just wh'ere' you are mistaken. They have read the signs of the times, and know that whenever there is a shortage in anything nowadays people promptly devise ways and means to go without that thing or get a substitute. Therefore, the boys’ division of the West Side Y. M. C. A. has arranged a training ¿lass for New York city office boys, td meet every Tuesday and Thursday mornings from eight to nine, to the end that the. race of. office boys shall not perish from the earth. The course, given free, consists of 25 lectures by a faculty that presumably knows what, an office boy needs to become efficient,' and all the boy has to do is to •»It back and absorb knowledcef. .. • V . 0 *
