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About Jefferson County Sentinel (Boulder, Mont.) 1885-1899 | View This Issue
Jefferson County Sentinel (Boulder, Mont.), 25 May 1888, located at <http://montananewspapers.org/lccn/sn84036046/1888-05-25/ed-1/seq-1/>, image provided by MONTANA NEWSPAPERS, Montana Historical Society, Helena, Montana.
nr.or C ;IV RSON C The Pioneer . Neyrutpaper of Jefferson County—A Vandly aournal---Independent in Polities. \JOU NO 40 IIEADRUARTERS FOR CLO BOULDER. MONTANA, frItIDAY. MAY 25, 1888. 83 PER YEAR ele 1.1011011.111so T 4r4k The Northwestern. (Opp. Grand Central Hotel.) Weave the most seasonable stock of Spring and Sour SUtt Overcoats, Furnishing Goods, Boys' and Children's Suits, Hats and Caps, Boots and Shoes, Trunlo, Valises, Gloves, &c., &c., of any house in Helena. WA guarrntee our prices to be as low as the lowest and solicit your trade. When visiting Helena don't fail to visit our store. J. E. LANDSMAN & CO., HELENA. TTIOS F. MURRAY, DEALER IN co a o n k ci 1-j a eat p ing S t 0 v s i u I 1R# CO INT r- = MI./ Nails, Giant POWDER, CAPS and }use, 7.7CTOO=LI - VCT_A__L - L, CROCK=2. - Y, Lamps, Chandeliers, Sash, Doors and Moldings, Plated Ware, Glassware and Bar Goods. agents for the Celebrated Buckeye Force Pumps and Shutler Wagons. TIN SH01) In connection where all kinds of Job work and Re- pairing will be done. itar Opposite Mat House, 'Boulder .11 ItriOntlatate, Jitt 110:0110110t1 aiid RE-Fullisild 1 Boulder HOT Springs. Wonderful Curative Properties T. --LIT; ALL CARES OF— Chronic, Muscular and Inflammatory Rheumatism. Lead, Poisoning, Constitutional Weakness, and General Debility. A PLEASANT RESORT ! FIRST-CLASS HOTEL AND . BATHLNCr ACCOMMODATIONS. Reached by Stage from Helene, Butte, Wickes, Elkhcrr, Comet, and all Points in the Territory. Terms moderate. first-class Physician • DR. IBA A. LEIGHTON, Is constantly in attendance For full information address, WM. TROTTER, Prop., Boulder, Mont. H. M. Pemengs, Helena. Wm. Monnis, Boulder c!zd Mozia.gz, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL ID IR, \LT 0- -Carry a large stuck of DRUGS, CHEMICALS, PAINTS, OILS, BRUSHES, WALL PAPER . WINDOW GLASS, PATENT MEDICINES, PERFUMERY, And TOILET ARTICLES. Also Lamps, Candies, Tobaccos, Cigars, 131_4 . ANI* 13001iS and srrAantoNvarv A FINE ASSORTMENT OP WALL -PAPER IN STOCK. PRESCRIPTIONS FILLED AT ALL HOURS. A fine line of Watches ard Jewelry always on hand. The Windsor .17-4 an Q)e. H. M. KEENE, Prop BOULDER, Mont Everything First -Class BOARD PER WEEK, 700 LA \ DA; 2.00 BOULDER BAKERY. Will bake Fresh Bread, Pies, Cakes, Etc., EVERY DAY. —CONFECTIONERY A SPECIALTY. - Goode Delivered Free of (barge. °piaster Bach, Cory Co.'.. A.IJOLTRT l'O(40 4 Prot). BOULDER NEWS DEPOT A Filo Lino of Ci;ars, TO1nCCOS and Sinokers . Articles kept couebintly on hand. Fresh Fruit, Candies, Nuts, (Ike. -0-- NEWSPAPERS, MASAZINES AND PERIODICALS always on saki, or subscriptions warn for seine mut alesikid to any address. quiet Reeding Room In Connection. c HANNBLI. & EASTR1DGE, Dealers In Fresh Confectionary, Nuts,. Eta. The Latest Periodicals and Newspapers on Sale. Merchants Hotel BASIN, MONT. peo - leverythieg new and first class in even mimes, The tables are laden with the BEST IN THE MARKET, and 4:bargee reasonable. JOS. B. BBLE2h _Proprietor. BOULDER LUMBER YARD. SOW DOORS, MOULDINGS, ClIDAR Shingles and all Muds of Finishing ?um- ber, Building and Tar Paper cousuintly hand. Yard opposite the Courthouse. Convenient for teams. Also plans fur- nished for bonsai bridges. etc.. and con- tracting and building of same. tillOBSBECK it SIMPKINS. B UTTE *Nis etni,EN SHORT LINE. Best and Most Direct Summer Route. SPLENDID SCENERY, Coachen of the Montana stage company leave Butte dally at 8 a. m., connecting at Calvin with trains of the N. P. railroad for Resin, Eloulder, Wickes, Jefferson, Helena and stage. for Elk- horn. Fare from Butte to Helena Round trip tickets ... • • $5 0 0 s au Only twenty-two mllee of staging over the beet equipped line In Montana W. S. T WNSIIEND, Supt. J. L. Kehl.% Ione Butte City. J. C. DECKIR, lima, Calvin. LEES TAYLOR, Carpenter&Builder All kinds of Doors, Window Frames, Saida, Counters, Etc. made„to Order. Plans, Specifications and Estimates prepared. BOULDER, Mont. CHARLES ENGLUND, P RACIT Boot and Shoemaker, BOULDER, MONTANA. Mr. Englund has permanently located among us, and those -wishing anything in his line will do well to mil. iv- Repairing Neatly Done...An Boots and Shoes made to order. Satisfac- tion cruaranteed. _AN IN NORTHERN GROWN PUN T S • AND SEEDS t A re ei eing hardier, • • Uet1.12 crops. TIN 11• ( iii) CATALOGUE 4i 2 4 eire as spoil- . item VOlt IT. .+,...' snor TI A.11.4 ST. PMA., 511006 NOTANA DETECTIVE AGENCY'. P.O. BOX 872, HELENA,M. T. Incorporated June IS, 1887. Capital Stock, $10,000. All daises of tenni float deaectIve work en- trusted to us will receive prorept attentiou. Cor- respondence solicited. No charge for consulta- tion. All business strictly confidential. We have agents In all parts of the United States. Call at rooms Nom, S and 4. Mesonic block, over postoffiee, or address as above. Geo. W. Baskets, Chief. THE YOUNG PEOPLE. One day Arline and Kattio were dirennring a story which the latter had read along time ago. Katie said that she did not believe it was true, whereupon the little 7 -year -old in- dignantly cried: \Katie year believer is out of order, your rernem*ror mends to be altered, and your forgetter needs to be made smaller.\—New York World. My little girl was 5 years and 1 day old last week. As my wife was giving her a bath she looked up and said: \1%f/triune he sure and wipe me dry so I won't sust.\—Bos- ton Globe. Little 4 year old Cora did not want to learn to read, and her mother asked her what she would do if she were tumble to read when she grew up. \I'll get my huaband to read to me,\ was the reply—Philadelphia News. One evening sve.had caraway med setae for supper. My daughter Susie asks& my little 8 -year -old girl if she would have Dodge '13W replied, \Yes; but take the !Titulars out. \—e Boston Globe. Grace, aged 5, had noticed that mamma said \Will\ when addreesing papa, and that the hired girl said \Mr. Thinking this formality had continued long enough, she cried put one day: \Kat4 how long will you have to know papa befnre you can call him Willr'—New York World. The Course of True Love, ; Sh,; .ringly)—A friend of papa's. He qtadlY1 — A particular frd of rune- rna's.—Life. .0 44 The Model Prteriefle The Boy is Sitting Down eating Jam. His Mamma im coming through the Door. The Boy will stand up to the Next bevel of Jam he Eats. rt. Here we Have a Game of Croquet. Henry has ju it Hit Nellie with a Mallet, and Nellie L. 4 calling Henry naughty Naples. Their Mother is not Much of a Oroqu4 player, bill in a minute she will Come out mid Beat them Both. This is a Gun. Is the Gun loaded? Really, I do not Know. Let us Find out. Put the Gun on the table and you, Sushi, blow down caw. lianrall, whit. Aiiihrer12- the other. Bang! Yak It w *ire quick, Jennie, and pick Up Susie's head and Charlie's lower Jaw before the Naety Blood gets all over the New Carpet. (V. The Girl has pivtty Eyes and Red Lips. She is Going to Take a walk in the Star Lit Glen where the Cricket chirps in the Hedge and the Jiggers play in the Grass, William is Going to Walk in the Glen, too. He will Meet the Girl and they will Talk about the Weather. We wouldn't Give a Cent for that Pieoe of Court Plaster on the Girl's chin by the Time the Girl gets Back home. v. Ole how nice and Black the Coal Hod Is! Run, children, Run Quick and put your Little, Fat hands in it. Mercy me, your Hawks are as Black as the Coal Hod now! Hark, Mamma is Coming. She will Spank you when she Finds your Hands so Dirty. Better go and Rub the Black Dirt off on the Wall Paper before she cornea—New York Commercial Advertiser. The Wonderful Human Eye. \The power of the human eye is simply re- markable. Why, lion tamers can control the fiercest beasts by simply looking at them.\ \That's all rot.\ \Did you ever try itri \Yee. I was attacked by Grigsby's bull- dog the other day and looked it steadily in the eye, resolved to control it, but the scheme wouldn't work.\ \Why not r \I neglected to climb a tree before com- mencing to stare at the beast.\—Nebraaka State JournaL Bright Literary Prospects. Friend (to young writer)—What do you hear from the Every Other Monthly .1ilaga- sine, Charley, in regard to your MS? Young Writer—It came back to me a day or two ago with \many thanks of the ed- itors for my kindness in giving them the privilege of seeing it.\ Mind you, Gus, not the thanks of a single editor, but the thanks of every one of 'em on the magaaine, and there may be a dozen, for all I know. I tell you, Gus, that was a great article, and I'm going to send them something else in a few daya.\—The Epoch. be Is, She lid The subject of a paper to be read by Miss Rose Elizabeth Cleveland before the inter- national Council of Women at Washington is, \Why Is Not Woman the Equal of Man?\ Oh, Rose Elizabeth! Has no man ever whispered in your ear the solemn truth that woman is not the equal of man, because she is a thousand times better and lovelier and dearer I—Chicago Tribune. Change of Fashions. First New York Dame (dodging an ava- lanche of snow from a roof)—Have you made up your mind where to go this summer? Second New York Dame (stopping to ad- just her rubber boots)—I have concluded to remain in the city. \Indeed!\ \Yea but I shall winter in Nebraska\— Omaha World. Cheaper to Move. A stranger in Fort Worth, Tex., was struck by. the sign, '-Commercial Detective Agency,\ that was painted on the doors of offices all over the town. Speaking to a citi- gen of the place, he asked if this agency was not a large affair, saying that they seemed to have offices all over town. ''Ah, that is old Bill Bowers,\ was the reply. \He finds it cheaper to move than to pay rent.\—Detroit Free Prem. Nervous. Mrs. Kendricks (the landlady) -..-Is your seat comfortable, Mr. Dinnley, or are you , er the fire? ;iley--Ne. I fen not too near the fire, • I think I am—er—a • The Lime Ribs Club. When the meeting had been called to order Brother Gardner requested Whalebone Hew- ker to come forward to the desk, and when be had him there he eciatipsed: . \Bruddar Howker, I an' gwine to send you to Toronto on a iniasion cansaniin' de welter' of die club. Belo' you go I want to speak a few furder words to you.\ \Yea ash.\ \In gwine among strangers cloan' be so dignified dat people will emagine you own half of Detroit, an' pit on de odder hand dean' be so tree an' easy dat any one will dare poke you in the ribs. Seek fur de happy medium. \Doan' be too fond of talk. be leas you say de mce you will be credited wid knowin'. \Many a man has broken his leg on de side- walk belrase he was ashamed to take a safe path in de middle of de road. \Treat ebony man like a gentleman. De wet is a mere trifle, an' it tickles dier enmity. iul'ar of ergytnent. If a stranger *Anis to lx)t.on his game turn from him in inann Foutempe.. If de &.-rs ran off de track tiles' in de Lewd. \Be keerful of yer manner.; at table. Our MOW fur a man kin be killed as dead as a dooh nail by do way he eels.. \De use of cuss words at' to be deplored. A man veld a clean mouf will be respected, ebeu among rascals. If you fall ober a wheel- barrer or saw your neck on a clothes line, devote five minite to es,prarsin i your feelins. Den stop short ()ff. \Doan' be ashamed to carry yer money in yer shoe. Many a member of congress has come to grief by prancin' &mud wid his wallet in his pocket. \If you meet a man who says he doe.n' be- lieve in de fucher state dam' waste yer breaf to argify do matter. He may be pueson whom de Land created widout a 90111, jist as an experiment. \—Detroit Free Press. The Turning Point. My son, once upon a time there was a boy— a real live, flesh and blood, skin and bones boy, not a story book boy. He lived in Ger- many, but that was not his fault, and you should not lay it against him. He did worm things than that, although he was only a boy. One day he was reading a book, a German book, so full of gutturals that a man might read it with his head cut off. It was a blood and thunder novel, and this boy became greatly excited when he came to the chapter where the comma drew his manehongene- ekesolawallowwin'aegepipegesiasehearnesser— which is German for bowie knife and rushed upon the duke, \Here exclaimed the boy, \this will not do; / am be - 'mixing excited% I cannot study so well after this.\ And right straight away he threw the novel into the river, and never looked into another one, and so that boy grew up and became a German phlloso- pher, and wrote many pagm of much *tea that nobody could understand grid left bee. • • hind him, inscribed opoo the enduring tab, t o o pt (sage, a nano that very few boys of your age can pronoonoe without making faces. That boy was Fichte, the great Ger man philosepher. And who was Fichter Oh, aak your mother. She will tell you all about him. I would like to be standing somewhere out of sight, thetI might hear tell TA% fuu these \And ask your father' gait t would like—oh, now I would like to hang around and listen to your father's idea of Fichte's phileeopby., How I would like te Mee toit..-..7nurclette In Brooklyn gagle. A Kind Housemaid. A quiet young man occupied the rear hall bedroom ou the third floor of a Forty-first street boarding house. He was a pleasapt, ingenious youth, and he evideraly had not been long in New yar1 4 , for he had a number Of )roicklittaolts with him and tried to make his room look attractive. On his bureau was the photograph of a very pretty girl, taste- fully framed ' which he seemed to regard with considerable affection, Returning from business one evening he noticed with much surprise that the photcgraoh was gone, and immediately proceeded in search of the chambermaid for an explanation, \Mary he said, when the genius of towels and bed quilts appeared, \what have you done with the picture that always stood on ray bure,aur \Sure and I put it in yer trunk. Yell find it in the second tray below shim fancy weskits.\ \What did you do that for?\ inquired the boarder, angrily. \Oh ye needet et mad,\ she answered, placidly; \in the last letter ye got yeee e le and the gal had a scrap, aud tort if I put her pictuf away doin' the both av yes a favor.\—New York Tribune. squelched. Young Man About Town (insinuatingly)— Is there any way in which I could get to see \The Bloody Knife; or the Red Hand,\ at the Thespian this week/ Newspaper Man promptly)—Why, cer- tainly. Do as I do. Y. M. A. T. (eagerly)—What is that? N. M. (Nonchalantly)—Buy a ticket,— Balton Courier. An Independent Position. ;;;0 0 •7: — Ir -no w _ Gentleman—Whet are you doing now, Sam? Sam—I ain't doin' nuffin, sale I frowed up my job las' week. I had trubble wit de boss, an' I jees tole him he cuddent fool dis oullud gammen no mo'. Pee independent, I is. An ale aunt o' mine died an' le? me twenty -fl' dollahs.—The Epoch. le Time to Waste. Friend (to blindness man)—You seem to be busy this tatsruing, Brown. Brown—Yea, I've got about fifty letters to write. \Why don't you use your type writerr \PM in too big a hurry.\—Texas Siftings. Tramp's Diet.. Old Lady (to tramp who has asked for something to eat)—What kind of rituals do you meetly get when you beg a bite? Tramp—Cold shoulder, ma'am—Boehm Courier. Deligtmt, of Literature. First Sweet Girl—That is just a perfectly lovely book you loaned me, so full of delight- ful mystery, Pm just enchanted with it. Second Sweet Girl—toil it sweet? 1103 , 1 far have you got? \To the place where Eleanor is bidding , good -by to her relatives on her death bed.\ \Oh she don't die.\ \She don't?\ \No. She gets eel] and marries the young doctor.\ \How charming! But she was engaged to her cousin!\ \He marries Blanche.\ \Dear me! Then what become. of Arthur?' \He marries Adelle.\ \Isn't it lovely? But Adelle is engaged to Gynneder \He dies; falls from his horse. The hone was purposely scared by a vengeful valet who afterward commits a regular murder, and\— \Yes I know; gets hung. That's in the hist chapter. I looked over that, but I couldn't imagine what interest there was in a valet. Moine authors mrwarta-yry make the lain chapter miserably uninteresting.\ \Yes isn't it mean? Lee's go over to Annie Blank's a moment. She's going to let me have one of her books and she said if I'd run over this afternoon she'd be through with it mid could tell me all about it.\— Omaha World. Cannot Expect Too Much. She (after the theatre)—I see that straw- berries are on the bill of fare, George. He (nervously)—Yes; but they are veer KW' St thbi season of the year. She—Qf course; but I think I will take a few, even if they are sour. One cannot ex- pect strawberries to be at their best in March, you know.—Life. An Indian Dors Composithea. Here is a composition written by Fred Big Horse, a smart 13 -year -old Sioux boy, *to has been a year or two at the Indian school at Carlisle, Pa, Fred is evidently cut ()utter newspaper humorist. The title of the com- position is \Monkeys and this is what he writes about them: \There are many kinds of animals. Monkeys and monkeys, etc. The monkeys are very much like a monkey, too. The monkeys can climb a tree like a monkey. They have long lingers like a monkey. The monkeys heye long tails and long bodies like paonkey. They often play a merry game and sing a merry song like a monkey. Onovi upon a time my friend and I were pouts men mat MUM WII WM IL trip we .ear- esa oft from Dakota and ewasi We went rind - Men We went to Beetle Arnerioa. There we saw the monkeys and monkeys everywhere on the trees screaming and chattering egerywhere on the trees. They were very cheerful late monkeys. We saw all kinds of monkeys 'iii South America; we caught a ship load et them and brought them back to the Unitpd States and sold them for so much money. Then we took the money to buy a big balloon and it blew away. Then we had no monkeys, no money and no balloon.\—New York Sp. Two Quarts of Chows. An Ashland avenue man so often sounded In his wife's ears praises of the clam chowder which he bought at down toe u restaurants that the ambitious woman determined to learn the secret of clam chowder making and provide her husband with his favorite deli- oacy on his own table. So she asked him one day for some information conoerning the compounding of a chowder. \First said he, \you'll want some elanas.\ \Yes; but how many, dear?\ 'Well, our family is small, and I think a quart of clams would do.\ \And how about the chowder?' \Oh Yee,\ erolained the wicked husband, hiding hie smiled; behind his coffee cup; \of coess s e you'll need some allows. I think about two quarts of chows would be right.\ And so the innocent little woman went to her grocer and called for one quart of clams and two quarts of chows; and now clam chowder is a tabooed subject in that house- hold.—Chicago Herald. It Worked. A boy suffering from an aggravated case of hiccoughs entered a Fulton street market this morning. \What's the matter?\ said the marketman. \I—hic—got—hic--the— laic—hic—hiccoughs.\ \You have, oh? Where's that $2 bill that was on the desk when you went out this morning?\ angrily Inquired the butcher, for the boy had been in the market earlier. \I didn't me no $2 bill,\ answered the boy, who began to turn pale. \Let me 908 your pockets.\ The boy emptied his pockets, but there was no bill there. \I guess I must have been mistaken about the bill,\ said the marketnaan, with a smile. \How's your hiccoughs?\ \They're gone,\ replied the boy. The cure had worked to a charm.—Albany Journal. But It's Plain Enough Now. I lost a very little word Only the other day; A very naughty little word I had not meant to say, gays Alice Wellington Rollins in Wide Awake. If it were not for this we should never have known that Mrs. Rollins fell down.—Somerville JournaL In Danger of Congestion. Grafton—Cholly, I can't see what makes my head feel so dweedfully swelled. 'Pon howl, I feel as if my vewy veins would burst Howard— Weeny, Aloe it's 'cause you wear such awfully tight shoes; ceases a vrush of bwainsto the head, ye know.—Judge. C. 0. D. Sharp Husband—Been shopping all day, you say? Sharper Wife—Ever since breakfast \Why I hadn't but fifty cents to give you this morning.\ \That was plenty. I never pay more than that for lunch.\—Omaha World. Men's Best Friend. First Dog—There comes a policeman with a gun. Second Dog—That's so. These people around here better look out. —Omaha World. How It Works, Usually. First Rat—What's that on this dish? Second Rat—Poison. Let's get in our holes and watch the fun when the cat fln4s it -- Omaha World. UGHT AND AIR • In Church. / feel a solemn sanctity, my Sw heart eet rest OfT i n, , l owa tsmin, veace. e My bonnet We divine! Grace, like& Heir, Ells my soul. In chastened joy I sit, I feel sacquerli religitta's deepest t qwer, My vertect A holy fervor penetrates My souPs remotest nooks, An earnest, chastened, fervid joy— How neat that ribbon loote0 L The good man tails of Christian peace. The organ anthem swells, I -bathe in streams of pure delight, My deem met more thaa Neil's! 0 holy rem! 0 Sabbath calm 1 0 chastened peace serene:1 I feel thy deep abiding smell, How dowdy is Miss Green! I feel spurs religious glow, 0 rapture undefined I know my bonnet looks so nice To those who .it behind! —Yankee Blade: Thrilling Adventures with the Indians. Omaha Dame—You have lived in the west many years you say! Domestic—Yes ma'am, I crossed the plains with a family years ago and was captured by Iniliaos They was a lazy lot o' vaga- bonds and made me do all the cooking for 'em. \Dear me! How did you escaper' \I didn't escape, ma'am, as long as there was one of the tribe alive, but at last there was none left and I got away.\ \Were they killed by the soldiers?\ \No ma'am. The agency doctor in whose family.[ worked afterward said as how he thought they died of dyspepsia.\—Omaha World. A Different Flower. When first Illooked on Chloe's face, How taw to me ft seemed! She smiled; what innocence, what grace At once upon me beamed! With the rich tint that health bestows Her fair cheeks were aglow; She looked so freeh, so litre a rose I called her \Jacquemiuot.\ I wooed her, thought success was sure. (What fools we lovers be!) The maid discovered I was poor And then she raitteued me. She married Jonee a month ago, Jones, wealthy, withered, old; No more I call her Jacqueminot— I call her marigold. —Boston Courier. The Fools of Europe. Omaha Dame—I suppose you traveled all over Europe? Returned Tourist—Very nearly; the fact is I became disgusted and returned before my projected tour was completed. \Disgusted with Europe?\ \Yes. Wherever I went people asked me all sorts of questions about Niagara Falls, the Mammoth Cave, the Yosemite Valley, the Rocky Mountains, the Thousand Wands and deer knows what all, and just because I couldn't answer them the fools thought I was a London adventurer.\—Omaha World. Too Much Gloss. A pair of shiny boots he wore, 0•1164Mer And aped the damsels at the door Who came out from the mat. No answering glance they gave hi -I back, As swiftly past they flew Because, like hat and boots, alack, His coat was shiny, too! —Boston Courier. Where Tascott Is Hiding. Detective—Eureka! I've struck it at last. Wife --Struck what! \The reason Tascott has so completely dis- appeared from public view. I know where to search for him now. P/1 find him.\ \Mercy me! Are you going to the north pole?\ \No indeed. I think be must have got a job as clerk in some store that don't adver- tise.\—Omaha World. The Lost Dog. A lady lost her dog last week, And this week when she went To interview the butcher on The style of meat for Lent, He pointed to a sausage link— The lady turned to look, And when she said she'd take It home, It wagged right off the hook_ —Washington Critic. At the Beek Door. Tramp Molitelp—Madam, will you be kind enough to give me something to eat! Lady—Pm sorry there isn't a thing in the house except a crust, but if you want thaa you can have it Tramp (with a courtly bow)—If it is the upper crust, madam, I will be pleased to re- ceive it; otherwise I hope you will pardon me if I decline.—Tid Bite. Be Listened and Skipped. - There were ninety and nine who gave advice And told how to rake in wealth; They wrote long screeds with their heads in ice, And owned nothing but their health; And one was a fellow who heard it all, And he has eloped with a princely haul. —Nebraska State Journal. Practice Hakes Perfect. Amateur Farmer—I can't understand what the trouble is with that brindle cow of mine. She has stopped giving down her milk. Old Hayseed—Praps you don't know how to milk her. Amateur—Well, I ought to knelv how by this time. I've milked that cow half &doze): times a day for a month.—New York Sun. Paraphrase. \He stains the town inearnadine,\ The Boston maiden said. The western maid remarked: \You mean Be paints the whole town red.\ —Washington Critic. Fashion's Rapid Changes. Omaha Girl—Are you ready, dear? Boston Girl—Not quite. I must put on my gloves first. \Gloves? Why the last time you were here you refused to wear gloves anywhere.\ \Yee I know, but in Boston, now, bare knuckles are out of style.\ —Omaha World. Worthy of No Confidence. Robinson—Brown says that you owe him $15, Dumley. Darnley iindignantly)—I do not owe Brown , a cent. I did owe him 815, but the debt be- came outlawed last week. Any man who will lie like that ought not to be trueted.— Tib Bits. A Child's Mistake. Aunt Jane (who paints)—Ha, Tommy! wonder what make. your cheeks look so much fresher than mine? Little Tommy—I s'pose it's 'cause I haven't worn 'em to long.—Judge. A Difference. It is a fatal paradox Young Jones will ever rave about— 'Twas Hett1e's smile that towed him in, Her father's foot that toed him out. —Detroit Free Pram
