The Choteau Calumet (Choteau, Mont.) 1885-1889, June 29, 1889, Image 4

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T H E CHOTEAU CALUMET. W H A T CAUSES M1RTHI I f t i e j r Smith*« Answer to This Query, with Some Clear III us t ns t ions. Sydney Smith gave the true answer when he said *;hat the form o f mental pleasure we call mirth was due to the d is­ covery o f a congruity in a seeming incon­ gruity o r the reverse. This i3 best illus­ trated by an exam ple. Boilcau had a brother w h o was a inauvais s u je t, failed in life and cam e to ask for help. Boileau upbraided him with his m isconduct, pointed o u t how they had b oth started in life under equally favorable conditions and with equal chances, and y e t how d if­ ferently they had got on. ** A h ! b u t just think,” exclaim ed the brother, ** w h at an immense advantage you had o v e r m e in brothers!” The d iscovery o f the point, the seeing o f the jok e is, says Sydney Sm ith, a n alo­ gous t o the pleasant mental feeling in discovering som ething quite new, or in suddenly understanding som ething dark to us before. This sensation is always pleasant, but in a jok e the discovery, 6inco it is carefully prepared for, is m o­ mentary, unexpected, and without toil, and therefore far m o re highly pleasura­ ble than the ordinary mental discovery. To take another exam p le, that o f the wooden pavement before St. Paul's:- “ I f the dean and chapter would only lay their heads together the thing w o u ld b o done,” said Sydney Smith. Here very clearly the fun is in the pleasure o cca­ sioned by the instant mental discovery o f the connection, notwithstanding the apparent complete incongruity between the heads o f the dean and chapter and the wood pavement. Now, the slower a mind w orks the more d ifficulty it has in q u ickly follow ­ ing out the congruity through the ap­ parent incongruities, o r the incongruity through the apparent congruities, a n d so in seeing the joke. Men w ith slow minds, then, prefer the plainest form o f discovery, such os the m ere noticing that something out o f the ordinary is going on, as when a man clow n s it by putting o n an enormous hat, a carroty w ig and a sea green coat. Thus, all stupid and dull witted people are m ost easily amused by caricature and horse play, and those m inds w h ich, though they o re p o w erful, o re also sluggish, find it too hard w ork to follow m entally the lightning flash in a finely w rought v e r ­ bal epigram. No d oubt such a theory as this postu­ lates that the man w h o likes Lamb and - S ydney Smith, b u t says he see3 n o jok e at all in buffoonery, really means that he o n ly sees a very little jok e , and that he d oes not .care fo r it because he can see so much m ore in other things. This, however, agrees w ith com m on experi­ ence. The man fon d o f the h ighest k ind o f w it is- n ever really unable to see the fu n 'o f the clow n , though it m ay bore him by its smallness, a n d i f ho is scien­ tifically minded ho n o m ore refuses to call it a kind o f w it, hum or o r fun than he does to c a ll v in ordinaire wine, though, as ¿ ’ m atter o f fact, w h a t he really con­ siders wine is Lafitte, A ll the m irth causing agents a re o f o n o kind and differ only in degree, though tho degrees are often intense.—London Spectator. \ A m e r ica n B a s h . One has o n ly t o contem plate tho men and their m ovements about ono o f the larger h otels t o understand ju s t how fast tho Am erican people are really living. Tho com m ercial m en, e specially, o re liv­ ing o n tho lightning, p lan, a n d the rest o f us are not v e ry fa r behind. The man w h o travels extensively today rarely r e ­ ceives any com m u n ication except by telegraph. H o figures his d a y’s w ork b y the minutes, and estimates ju s t what every second is w orth t o him. Even the hotel registers aro illustrations,o f the econom y o f time. Tho man from Chicago writes it “ Chi.,” Philadelphia is “ PhiL,” Cleveland “ C lcv.,” H arrisburg “ H ’ b u rg,” Cincinnati “ Cin.,” and so o n through the entire list o f Am erican cities w ith the exception o f tho m an from Boston, a n d he invariably writes it “ Boston, Mass.” H e can’t afford to sacrifice so great a distinction.—Buffalo Courier. V A L L E Y HOTEL, CHOTEAU A Cbcerfol California Jail. W h en tho ja i l was turned over to Sheriff Jennings day before yesterday there were nine persoxjp, m o stly tramps, in it. W h en the prisoners were fed yes­ terday m orning thero w ere ten. During the d a y there w e re nine and later in the afternoon there were ten. Investigation was made. - The tenth m an was discov­ ered t o b e a traflep, w h o clim b ed into the ja i l a t meal times and went ou t again after g e tting a fu ll stomach. This, con­ nected with the fa c t that a man incarce­ rated for being a com m on drunk broko his leg trying to get back into ja i l a fter having clim b ed out to get on a spree, and tho fa c t that a man in ja il for beat­ ing his w ife having had a quarrel w ith a fellow prisoner, clim b ed o u t and went a m ile t o tho r,herifFa liouso at the dead o f night to tell tho sheriff that tho other fellow had punched him in tho stom ach, w ill rnako our ja il fam ous.—Santa Cruz Rurf. “ I am .vil!mg t:* risk my reputation nr, a public mail.” wrote Eilw:::*<! nine to The Liverpool Mercury, “ if the worst case o f smallpox cannot !u» cured i:i three days by the use o f «Team o f tartar. One ounce o f cream o f tartar dissolved in a pint o f water, drank at intervals, when cold, is a certain, never failing remedy! It has cured thousands, neve*- leaves a mark, never causes blindness, and avoids tedious lingering.” ROBERT M. STE ELE,|Proprietor. Choteau, Montana, First-Class Accomodations for Regular and Transient Guests. Comfortably Furnished Booms and Table S u pplied with the best the Market Affords. Headquarters for woolgrowérs. Stock and Commercial Men- relt« in • Le(al T e n d e r . From 1774 to 1784 tho territory now known as Tennessee formed a part of North Carolina, and in 1785 tho Ten­ nesseans, becoming dissatisfied with their government, organized a state govern­ ment under tho name o f “ Franklin,\ which was n^aintained for some years. The state afterwards disbanded and ter­ ritorial Tennessee was again annexed to North Carolina. The follow ing are am ong tho laws passed b y the legislature o f the state o f Franklin. W e copy it as found in a speech by Daniel Webster on tho currency o f 1838: Be it enacted by the general assembly o f tho 6tate o f Franklin, and it is hereby enacted by the authority o f tho same, that from tho 1st day o f January, 1789, tho salaries o f the officers o f the com ­ monwealth be as follow s: His excellency tho governor, per an­ num, 1,000 deer skins. H is honor, the ch ief justice, per an­ num, 600 deer skins. The secretary to his excellency, the governor, per annum, 400 raccoon'skins. The treasurer to the state, 450 raccoon skins. .. Each county clerk, 800 beaver skins. Clerk o f house o f commons, 200 rac- ■? the asssmbly, per dient, uüns. 3or signing a warrant, coon si. i Mei • three Ju- o n e : : To t . stable fo r serving a warrant, one m ; ........ i . Enacted ini 3 the law the 18th d a y o f October, 1780, under the great seal o f the state.—B u !alo New». A Heavy Expense. One o f tho items o f expense o f running a hotel, from w h ich there is no direct return, but w h ich is os much o f a neces­ sity as the maintenance o f furniture it­ self, is that o f paper, envelppes, pens and ink used by guests. This amounts to not less than 81,500 per annum in the Laclede hotel. Another item is that o f soap and toilet paper, w h ich would foot up to $500. A very inconsiderable por­ tion o f tho paper used in the writing room falls into tho hands o f loungers and dead beats. Their only chance is to grab the odd sheets o f stationery left b y guests on tho table, w h o havo secured w h a t they asked for at tho desk. A s to the frequent com plaint made by hotel m en o f the expense o f maintaining the public toilet room , that is offset b y the receipts from the b oot b lacking privilege. —St. Louis Globe-Democrat. A Cold Cat. W h en tho Blaines were living at W ashington, some lady heard that their cook was an unusually g o o d one. Tho lady had an ambition t o possess ono her­ self that she m ight g ive g o o d dinners, and she prom ptly went round, rang the bell a t t h e , front door, and asked to see Mrs. Blaine’s cook, and offered her h igh­ er wages than she was then receiving. A fterw a rd this lady and Mrs. Blaine met at dinner. Tho lady was introduced, w a s sugary in her manner, mentioned her ow n name to m oke sure Mrs. Blaine should remember it, and was making pleasant speeches o f all sorts, when Mrs. Blaine looked at her and said: ’ .’ Oh, yes, I remember you—you called on m y cook ,” and refrained from adding any w o rd o f explanation. It was rather em­ barrassing for the other lady.—San Francisco Argonaut. Tlio K e e n , Question Troublesome. Republican newspapers aro printing a letter from Senator H oar as p r o o f that he does not agree with. Gen. Mahono that the negro is not fit to hold o ffice. But that v e ry letter, ingeniously worded fo r a denial though it is, is ample cod ' firm ation that Gen. Mahone correctly represented the real opinion o f both. Senator Hoar writes: “ In selecting per­ sons fo r public o ffice those w h o have the appointing p ower should have regard to personal character and public senti­ m ent.” That is substantially what Gen. Mahone said; o n ly he p u t i t m ore bluntly and added tliat the negro is a heavy load to carry on account o f that handi­ cap o f character and sentiment.—Cleve­ land Plain Dealer. Tho Cabinet About Finished. Tho President-elect — Lige, between Quay and the rest o f tho 6tato bosses, there is o n ly one p laco in tho cabinet left fo r m e to fill. Ti?* Private . Secretary (groaning)—True; too, too triic, sire. “ I was just wondering how it woftld do t o give^ that last portfolio to Sambo. H e has been a faithful servant to w o for year.-;.” “ A h ! G ood idea! It’ll tickle the c o l­ ored vote.” “ W e ll, Lige, I wjfca’t th in k in g o f that; but 1 really w ould like to have,.qno.,man in m y cabinet that I could havifreameJn- fluenco w ith.” —Philadelphia Jfjjflqffitip- J . E . W A M S U E Y , M . D . P h y s i c i a n a n d S u r g e o n , Choteau, Montana. OFFICE—Post Office Block, Main Street. o h a s . m c in t y r e , U . S . D epu t y M ineral S u rveyor . Land and Ditch Surveys Promptly Made. AddressP. O. Box 15, Choteau. Choteau Co. M. T. THE CHOTEAU HOUSE JERE SULLIVAN, Proprietor, •ort F Baton, Montana. 0 T B E S T K E P T H Q T E L IN T H E C IT Y . n . a . M c D onald , A r c h i t e c t a n d B u il d e r , C H O T E A U I M I . T . Plans and Specifications for aU classes of buildings prom ptly furnished. HOUSE CARPENTRYANDJOBBING Prom p tly Executed and the Beet W ork­ manship guaranteed. CARRIAGE AMO VAGOH MAKING and repairing a specialty. , Boat Building aod Cabinet Work o f every description to order. Made and trimmed at the shortest nétice. t t y N O T ICE—I have purchased, and wiU shortly have for sale at my new shop and warerooms on Main Street, a large stock o f D o ors, W indow Sashes and Blinds, M ouldings, Buggy wheels, tops and shafts, Builders and Wngonmakers’ Hardware, Coffins and M etal Burial Cas­ kets, etc. etc. N. A. M cDONALD. NORMAN KING. W I L L M A K E T H E SEASON OF 1889 at the Cold Spring Banch. N O R M A N K I N G is a stylish and g o o d mover and combines some o f tho best qualities possessed by the m ost celebrated drnft stallions. W eight, 1,900 pounds. Terms For Season, $20.00 or two mares for $35. RALSTON BROTHERS. P. O. A d d ress, Chotean, M. T • » . ’ S M M M d Witrh. * «oliinl.l for# o r g1 i# # # , «ntil E S B g g i g H k K f # . unt Ulcly. I t s 0 S> wstth Is i l l world. I fu i c c l ' llsik«|icr. War-. __________ r ¿ - ^ r a a t e d . Heavy solid <Jold -**LH »s«l«s C m h . lioth ladici’ Faad g«au' aiaca, with work« Sad cu e « ’ of^equal valor. {O u a P e r s w u is n e b It- calliy m s aecnre oao free, tor«Iktr with ear large andval- aabla lisa of l l w w e k a l d ■ M a p l e s . Theaeasaiptct. as well aa the watch, we trad _ F r e e , sad after yoahara kept the»» Hi year keen Mr g am ths aad akowa Ike« ta Ibeea wlie may hairs railed, they kn ew« yssr ewa uroeerlr. Tkeas who welts at «sea ess as sots of tsselelsg ths W s l t h sn.l f t s s s a l c s . Wapay all assises, Addiaas »Mwatxi ¿u OS» M m r i g — - T t l r — — G E O . R I C H A R D S , Proprietor: I FIRST-CLASS ACCOMMODATIONS FOR REGULAR AND Transient Guœts. STABLE IN CONNECTION WITH HOUSE. AMPLE A c c o m m o d a t i o n s f o r j S t o c l c . Jos. H ir s h b e r g &Co. W h o l e s a l e A n d R e t a i l D e a l e r s I n 8ENERAL MERCHANDISE Choteau. Montana. E. C. GARRETT, Justice o f the Peace. A. C. WARNER, Notary Public. G a r r e t t & . W a r n e r , REAL ESTATE AND IAW OFFICE, P O S T O F F I C I B L O C K , Choteau, Montana. Office ofttie s u n r i v e r , c h o t e a u & n o r t h e r n t e l e p h o n e c o , Deeds, Mortgages, Leases and Legal Documents o f all kinds executed. P ublic L and B usiness a S pecialty . Collections Promptly Attended to. J. SILVERMAN, SOL. COHEN S I L 'V E IR /ISÆ JLILsT & O O H B 1 T GUNS, PISTOLS, CUTLERY and AMMUNITION. -T H E ONLY— CONFECTIONERY, One Price flottimi Store I notions ^ . . I FRESH FRUIT. In town. Wholesale A retail. T OB A C C O A S S 3 Mailorders from responsible parties solicitai. 8 . C O H E N , M a n a g e r . JULIAN F. BURD, D E A L E R IIS T General Merchandise, DUPUYER, MONTANA. A Full Line of Staple & Fancy Groceries Boots & Shoes, Hats & Caps. Etc. % TRAVELER’S, COWBOY’S, RANCHMEN’S AND FARMER’S SUPPLIES A SPECIALTY. Accommodations for Travelers, Stabling and Feed for Horses, Etc Montana’s Favorite Line. M O N T A N A C E N T R A L O— A N D - St. Paul, Minn. & Maitoba. The Crest Dining and Sleeping Car Route for St. Paul, Minneapolis and the East. FREE SLEEPING CARS FOR 2D . CLASS PASSENGERS. P . 8 H I L B Y - . Gen 1 Manager Montana Central By., HELENA, MONTANA. F . I . W H I T N E Y . • . . . f Gen’l Pas. ana Ticket Agent, ST. P. M. A M .R Y ., ST. .SAUL, MINN. r • L -

The Choteau Calumet (Choteau, Mont.), 29 June 1889, located at <>, image provided by MONTANA NEWSPAPERS, Montana Historical Society, Helena, Montana.