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About The Choteau Montanan (Choteau, Mont.) 1913-1925 | View This Issue
The Choteau Montanan (Choteau, Mont.), 28 Dec. 1923, located at <http://montananewspapers.org/lccn/sn85053031/1923-12-28/ed-1/seq-3/>, image provided by MONTANA NEWSPAPERS, Montana Historical Society, Helena, Montana.
Prophet •\ Ün'cfe^Sam wants him on' the phone on department business. * Some of the'smaller puzzles, while probably less Important,, are jno less puzzling. Take, for ex ample, the “war of women against women” in the United States, /Just before the opening of con gress *200 representatives of the National Woman’s party from 32'.-states called upon President Cool- ldge In the k Interest of the proposed equal-rlghts- for-women ardendment to the Constitution. Presi dent Coolidge said to them: Y o u r presonce here Is a very Im p ressive dem o n stratio n of your desire. I doubt If any of m y coun trym e n .would h e s itate to assert th a t If the w o m a n hood of the n a tio n w a n t som e thing, th e y w ill be bound to secure-it. Exactly. But does the womanhood of the nation want the eqlial rights amendment? In 1920 six teen women’s organizations of nation-wide mem bership formed the Women’s Joint Congressional committee In order to decide upon measures to be presented to congress. Eleven of these organiza tions will oppose' the equal rights amendment, be lieving it unwise to surrender the existing state laws favoring women because of their sex and preferring to work through state legislatures rath « ’ L o rd Cod of rlo s t s , be w ith us yet, L6st w e fo r g e t— le s t w e forget! By JOHN DICKINSO N SH E R M A N fflaiggflpjaa EW YEAR’S DAY Is the day when the prophets are wont to tell us all about what is going to take place during the coming year. The year Anno Domini 1924 and of the Independence of the United States of America the one hundred and forty-ninth will be an interesting and exciting twelve months. One does not have to be the seventh son of a seventh son to prophesy that with entire confidence. But the prophet who ventures further is likely soon to be without honor abroad as •well as in his own country. Suppose Uncle Sam had a Department of Proph ecy at Washington or n United States Commission of Prophets or something of the kind. And sup pose it was the function of said department or commission on January 1 of each year accurately to foretell the events of the coming twelve months, at home and abroad. Well, the cabinet member at the head of that department or the chairman of the commission or whoever was the boss proph et responsible for the forecast would be walking the lloor just about now with drops of agony on bis brow, wouldn’t he? He would. And If he were a wise prophet, wouldn’t he drop everything, look at the office door and put up a example, who cry out against the “isolation” of the United States, may learn that the United States is not Isolated financially or commercially but only politically—and politically only In the sense that it is not mixed up in the ambitions, hates and plots of alien peoples. Some of those who would have the United States enter the for eign chaos with a free hand, a long purse and a big stick may learn the constitutional limitations under which the United States must act. Aud, bulking large on the horizon, ure always the two great questions: To what extent should the United States be held responsible for the pence of the world? Is it for the best interests of the American people that the United States should enter, actively into International politics? Patriotic, able and influential Americans hold diametrically opposite views on these subjects, ns on every one of the subjects of the many puzzles within the vast world-wide puzzle. One American statesman says: . . . W e tu r n e d our b a c k s upon our associates, refu s e d to b e a r an y responsible p a r t In the adm in istra tio n of peace or the firm and p e r m a n e n t e s ta b lish m e n t of th e r e s u lts of the w a r won a t so te r r ib le a cost of life and treasu r e , an d w ith d r e w Into a su llen and selfish Isolation w h ich la deeply Ignoble, because m a n if e s tly :ow a rdly and dishonorable. Another American statesman—of the same politi cal party—says in answer: I deny th a t A m e rica played an ignoble p a r t be fore, d u r in g or since the w a r. I a s s e r t the noblest page of h isto r y ever, w r i tte n Is th e sto r y of A m e rica’s p a r t, before, d u r in g and since the w a r. sign: Gone to th e ta l l tim b e r . Closed fo r repairs. He would. For a wise prophet would know that what was needed in that office was not prophets, but puzzle experts. For all the world, at home and abroad, would appear to be one vast puzzle made up of smaller ones and still smuller ones ad Infinitum. Yes; what is wanted are puzzle -experts with the ability to unscramble scrambled eggs. If a world of scrambled eggs can be Im agined, It Is this well-known and justly-famous Earth at the beginning of 1924. There Is, of course, plenty and to spare of peo ple who think they know nil about this scrambled world and believe they are able to unscramble it. No less than 22,165 people applied for the $100,000 offered by Edward W. Bok for the best “practicable plan by which the United States may co-operate with other nations to achieve and preserve the peace of the world.’’ Since this is a free-for-all contest, these self-constituted experts represent nil kinds of men and women; the statesman with ex perience in International affairs; the financier In touch with the world’s money markets; the journal ist, with trained power of world-wide observation; the peacedoving woman to whom war Is a crime; the patriotic mother who gives her sons to the nation In Its time of need; the idealist; the dream er—the variety among the applicants for the money Is as great as that among their plans. To many—at least In theory as patriotic, as able, as experienced—enduring world peace seems an - Iridescent dream, as Senator Ingails of the vitri olic tongue said of honesty in politics. It would be wrong, nevertheless, to ridicule either the plan or the contestants. Both should be commended. The plan affords the atmosphere In which truth and right are to be found; skepti cism and cynicism do not. Health and honesty are the normal state of man and his desire Is toward peace. It Is not Impossible that nations may be Induced to think and feel as does the Individual citizen. The international discussion that is sure to follow the announcement of the winning plan .should prove a valuable education to those who -«sincerely and Intelligently follow it. Those, for Much Is said and written In favor of “hands across the sea”—a union of America and Great Britain that shall tell all the rest of the world to be good and see that it does behave. It is Inter esting to note In this connection that Russia has a dictator, Lenin, who says that when the Reds get the upper hand the bourgeoisie of America will pay a heavy price. Turkey has a dictator, Mustapha Kemal Pasha, who is charged with hav ing broken every promise of good behavior and every guarantee to American missionaries and to the remnants of Christians. Spain has a dictator, Rivera, whose ambition Is to unite Spain and Latin America in a confederacy hostile to the United States. Italy has a dictator, Mussolini, who de clares that the “payment of reparations belongs in the domain of mythology” and has a chip on his shoulder for the whole world. Not a single one of these four dictators has any adequate understanding of the ideals of the Eng lish-speaking nations. Not a single one of these four dictators cares a red cent for the Ideals of the English-speaking nations. Five years ago President Wilson read to a joint session of the houses of the American congress the terms of the armistice which had brought the World war to an end. He said, among other tilings: A n d m o re t ’.ian th a t —m u c h m o re th a n th a t —has been accom p lished. T h e g r e a t n a tio n s w h ich asso ciated them s e lves to d e s tr o y It have now definitely u n ited In th e com m o n purpose to s e t up such a peace a s w ill sa tisfy th e lo n g in g of th e w h o le w o rld fo r d isin terested justice, em b o d ied In se t t l e m e n ts w h ich a r e based upon so m e th in g m u c h b e t te r an d m u c h m o re lrs t i n g th a - th e selfish com p e titiv e In te r e s ts of pow e rful states. T h e r e Is no lo n g e r co n jectu re as to th e objects the v icto r s have In mind. T h e y have a m ind In the m a tte r , n o t only, b u t a h e a r t also. T h e ir avow e d and concerted purpose is to sa tisfy and p r o t e c t ’the w e a k as w e ll s to accord th e ir Ju s t rig h t s to th e stro n g . “Europe Is completely mad,\ says Gerard, for mer ambassador to Germany, “with no difference except In degree between England, France and Germany.” This Inevitably suggests the story of the old Quaker who said to his wife: “All the world Is queer except me and thee and sometimes I think thee Is a little queer.” Mr. Gerard inay be right; certainly no one can prove him wrong. But It only adds to the puzzle ment of the puzzle. Boy, page Mr. Secretary er than through congress. The World court and the child lahor amendment have right of way, ac cording to the joint committee. In the meantime, Mrs. O. H. P. Belmont, presi dent of the National Woman’s party, is predict ing a third party in 1924—with a woman candidate for president—In case neither of the major parties receives the equal rights amendment with favor. Boy, page Mr. Prophet again! Mrs. Belmont and her cohorts will have to hurry things or they will find themselves the fourth par ty, Instead of the third. For the call for a nom inating convention in May has gone forth nnd its keynote Is the “abolishment of special priv ilege.” By “special privilege” Is meant “the un just economic advantage by possession of which a small group controls our national resources, transportation, industry and credit, stifles compe tition, prevents opportunity for development of all, and thus detates conditions under which we live.” Here’s a real job for the puzzle expert. Who will head this party? How Is this “special priv ilege” to be abolished? How is this “small group” to be Identified? And what will be done to them for “dictating the conditions under which we live?\ Anyway, they should not be boiled In oil or any thing like that, for on the whole the conditions under which we live might be worse. If 85,000 of us want to see a prize fight and are willing to pay something like a million nnd a quarter dollars for the privilege, they let us. They let us own about 14,000,000 motor vehicles and bum all the gasoline we want to pay for. They let us crowd the movies and mnkt the high-fare railroad trnlns run In sec tions. They offer no objection when we increase deposits in savings banks by $500,000.000, running the total up ro seventeen billion. They have al lowed the establishment of fifteen new working men’s banks in the last three years with resources of $45,000,000. They are letting workingmen In vest millions In the business of their employers. They allowed workingmen last year to send back $400,000,000 to friends and relatives In Europe. Why, they even allow the women of the country to spend a million and n hal'f on hair nets. So down with this special privilege that so controls our industry and credit nnd dictates these rigor ous conditions of existence! Here Is one thing which might be a puzzle, but Is not: Approximately 50,000 of California’s Jap anese are planning to migrate eastward or return to Japan, as a result of the United States Su preme court’s decision upholding the stnte’s alien land laws. Nearly a million and a hnlf of the richest agricultural lands of the state, now leased to Japanese, must be returned to white owners. It Is a heavy blow to the Japanese. Of California’s enormous vegetable and fruit Industry, more than 80 per cent has been for ten years controlled by Japanese. Naturally the Japanese government does not like this; the Japanese press reflects Its feelings and those of the Japanese people. But whatever Japan may do about this wholesale ban ishment of her nationals there will be no “Yellow Peril\ in 1924 or for many years to come. Theoretically, of course, on New Year’s Day all the world is going to swear off, turn over a new leaf, and make good resolutions and live up to them. Everybody is going to pay his debts, quit quarreling with his neighbors and act like a gen tleman. In Theory 3924 will begin business with human nature reformed and the Golden Rule In full operation. And as with men, so with nations. It should be so. Else the Grim Reaper may find us unprepared. “In the midst of life we are In death.\ A few months ago the kindly gentleman and sincere patriot at the head of this great na tion was alive and well. A little later a four- year-old boy, representing the children of the na tion, tiptoed across the rotunda of the Capitol at Washington and reverently placed a wreath upon his bier. And now that same boy Is also In his grave—run over by a motor trade. «jnnHHmimmiinmniinminmmnmiminmmmnmmnnnmnmniHiininmin | By ROGER POCOCK Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitiiiiiiiiim iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis Copyright by Bobbs-SIerrUl Company THE PIRATES A. D. 1750 There are very few pirates left. The Riff Moors of Gibraltar straits with in recent years have been known to grab a wind-bound ship when they got the chance; the Arabs of the Red sea have taken stranded steamers; Chinese practitioners shipped ns pas sengers, will rise in the night, cut throats, nnd steal the vessel; more over, some little retail business Is done by the Malays round Singapore, but trade as a whole Is slack. It was very different in the Seven teenth nnd Eighteenth centuries when the Sallee rovers, the Algerian cor sairs, buccaneers of the West Indies, the Malays and the Chinese put pirate fleets to sea to prey on great com merce, when Blackbeard, Captain Kidd, Bartholomew, Roberts, Lnfitte, Avery nnd a hundred other corsnirs under the Jolly Roger could seize tall ships and make their unwilling seamen walk the plank. They and their merry men went mostly to the gallows, rich ly deserved the same, and yet—well, nobody need complain that times were dull. There were so many pirates one lmrdly knows which to deni with, but Avery was such a mean rogue, and there Is such a nice confused story —well, here goes! He was mate of the ship Duke, forty-four guns, a merchunt cruiser chartered from Brlstbl, Eng land, for the Spanish service. Ills skipper was mightily addicted to punch, and too drunk to object when Avery, conspiring %\ith the men, made hold to seize the ship. Then he went down stnlrs to wake the enptain, who, in a sudden fright, asked,«“What’s the matter?” “Oh, nothing,” said Avery. The skipper gobbled at him. “But something’s the matter,” he cried. •‘Does she drive? What weather is It?” “No, no,” answered Avery, “we’re at sea.” “At sea ! How can that be?\ “Come,” says Avery, “don’t, be in n fright, but put on your clothes, and I’ll let you Into the secret—and If you’ll turn sober and mind your busi ness perhaps, in time, I may make you one of my lieutenants, If not, here’s n boat alongside, and you shall be set ashore.” The skipper, still In a fright, was set ashore, together with such of the men as were honest. Then Avery sailed away to seek his fortune. On the coast of Madagascar, lying In a bay, two sloops were found, whose seamen supposed the Duke to be n ship of war and being rogues, having stolen these vessels to go pirating, they fled with rueful faces into the woods. Of course they were fright fully pleased when they found out that they were not going to be hanged Just yet, and delighted when Captain Avery asked them to sail In his com pany. They could fly at big game now, with this big ship for n consort. Now, as It happened, the Great Mo gul, emperor of Hindustan, was send ing his daughter with a splendid ret inue to make pilgrimage to Mecca and worship at the holy places of Mahomet. The lady sailed In a ship with chests of gold to pay the expenses of the journey, golden vessels for the table, gifts for the shrines, an escort of princes covered with jewels, troops, servants, slaves and a band to play tunes with no music, after the eastern manner. And It was their serious mis fortune to meet with Captain Avery outside the mouth of the Indus. Av ery’s sloop, being very swift, got the prize, and stripped her of everything worth taking, before they let her go. It shocked Avery to think of all that treasure In the sloops where It might get lost; so presently, ns they sailed In consort, he Invited the cap tains of the sloops to use the big ship as their strong room. They put their treasure on board the Duke, and watched close, for fear of accidents. Then came a dark night when Captain Avery mislaid both sloops, and bolted with all the plunder, leaving two crews of simple mariners to wonder where he had gone. Avery made off to the New England colonies, where lie made a division of the plunder, handing the gold to the men, hut privily keeping all the diamonds for himself. The sailors scattered out through the American settlements and the British Isles, mod estly changing their names. Mr. Avery went home to Bristol, where he found some honest merchants to sell his dia monds, and lend him a small sum on account. When, however, he called on them for the rest of the money, he met with a most i hocking repulse, because the merchants had never heard, they said, of him or his diamonds, but would give him to the justices as a pirate unless he shut his mouth. He went away and died of grief at Bldeford In Devon, leaving no money even to pay for his coffin. Meanwhile the Great Mogul at Del hi was making such dismal lamenta tions about the robbery of his daugh ter’s diamonds that the news of Avery’s riches spread to England. Rumor made him husband to the princess, a reigning sovereign, with a pirate fleet of his own—at the very time he was dying of want at Blde ford. W« left twe pleaps full of pirates mourning over the total depravity of Captain Avery. Sorely repenting his sins, they resolved to amend their lives, and see what they could steal In Madagascar. Landing on that great Island they dismantled their sloops, taking their plentiful supply of guns and powder ashore, where they camped, making their sails into tents. Here they met with another party of English pirates who were also peni tent, having just plundered a large and richly-laden ship at the mouth of the Red sea. Their dividend was three thousand pounds a man, nnd tney were resolved to settle in Madagascar, In- Stead of going home to be hanged. The two parties, both In search of a peaceful und simple life, made friends with the various native princes, who were glad of white men to assist in the butchering of adjacent tribes. Two or three pirates at the head of an at tacking force would put the boldest tribes to flight. Each pirate acquired his own harem of wives, his own horde of black slaves, his own plantations, fishery and hunting grounds, his king dom wherein he reigned an absolute monarch. If a native said Impudent words he was promptly shot, and any attack of the tribes on a white man was resented by the whole community of pirate kings. Once the negroes conspired for a general rising to wipe out their oppressors at one fell swoop, but the wife of a white man getting wind of the plot, ran twenty miles In three hours to alarm her lord. When the native forces arrived they were warmly received. After that each of tlielr lordships built a fortress for his resting place with rampart and ditch set round with a labyrinth of thorny entanglements, so that the barefoot native coming as a stranger by night, trod on spikes, nnd sounded a loud alnrm which roused- the garrison. Long years went by. Their majes ties grew stout from high feeding and lack of exercise, hairy, dressed in skins of wild beasts, reigning each in his kingdom with a deal of dirty state and royalty. So Captain Woods found them when he went In the ship Dellcla, to buy slaves. At the sight of Ills forty-gun ship they hid themselves In the woods, very suspicious, but presently learned his business, and came out of the woods, offering to sell their loyal ne gro subjects by hundreds In exchange for tobacco and suits of sailor clothes, tools, powder, and hall. They had now been twenty-five years In Mada gascar, and, what with wars, acci dents, sickness, there remained eleven sailor kings, all heartily bored with their royalty. Despite the attach ments of their harems, children and swarms of grandchildren and depend ents, they were sick for blue water, hungry for a cruise. Captain Woods observed that they got very friendly with Ills seamen, and learned that they were plotting to seize the ship, hoist the black flag, and betake them selves once more to piracy on tne high seas. After that he kept their majesties at a distance, sending officers ashore to trade with them until he had com pleted his cargo of slaves. So he sailed, leaving eleven disconsolate pi rate kings In a mournful row on the tropic beach, and no more has ever transpired as to them or the fate of their kingdoms. Still, they had fared much better than Captain Avery with his treasure of royal diamonds. SCOTTISH ORDER OF THISTLE One of the Oldest on Earth— Humor ous Story Is Told Concern ing Its Origin. The Scottish Order of the Thistle, though ranking in the British empire second only after the Order of the Garter, Is nevertheless very much older in date of creation. According to the Scottish historian, John Lesley, when Hungus, king of the Piets, was attacked by Athelstan, king of the West Saxons, he called to his assist ance Achalus, king of the Scots, who Joined him with ten thousand of his subjects. On the eve of the battle, the enemy endeavored to surprise King Achalus and King Hungus by creeping barefooted across the ap proaches to their camp. Thistles abounded there as elsewhere In Scot land, nnd the enemy, treading on these thistles with their bare feet, and with their naked legs tom by the thorns, could not refrain from utter ing howls of pain and of dismay, with the result that the Piets and the Scots were awakened in time from their slumbers, and not only beat back the enemy, but Inflicted upon them a most signal defeat. The Order of the Thistle Is believed by all good Scots to have been found ed to commemorate that battle and that victory over the Invader. It Is restricted exclusively to Scottish peers, and to princes of the reigning house by virtue of tlielr Stuart an cestry. Uncle Eben. \Of coh’se,” said Uncle Eben, \you Is lntltled to speak yoh mind, bnt it’* • a was’e of time Ständen’. laroun’ an'/ spressin’ opinions to a baiky m ul*.’’ K, Ï Vo
