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• * ''\% \ * e ~ ' : \ ' ' : '-'\V '■>’'V'\3^'' VA'; ^ 1, '■ ”> -i'<■ -i '; «' ' • O k * - ,«■,•? / - * » - t *1 PAGE SIX THE TRIBUNE, DILLON, MQÑT., THÜRS., JULY 81,1941. . : THE PAPERS OF PRIVATE PURKEY Dear Ma: ‘ I got your letter about not yelling at anybody on no golf coarses and please do not worry as I am Always a gentleman espeshully since that Tenersee division was maid to do a 15 mile hike all over again for yell ing yoo hoo at half dressed women and male golfers looking for lost balls. From now on I go strictly on the idea that anybody I see in open lots may be a general for all 1 know. Personally I wood not poke no fun at a general on a golf coarse any how on account of I like to see them there. The farther a general is from the camp the less times I get in spected. This is a war of decep tion, ma, and where can a general find more deception than on a golf linx? It is also a war of movement and you don’t know what move ments are until you see a middle- aged duffer going into his golf swing. Generals need exercise like any body else but if he is seen walking on a highway he loses face. The only place he can be seen hiking five or ten.miles a day without be ing disgraced is on a golf coarse so I don’t see no sense criticizing Gen eral Lear for being on one that day. GAS WILL STOP ^ ¿ c k i n o JUSTA POR SPOONPUL MV WIFE.» TOO BAD “Jim'is still driving his old bus.” / ‘Yes, says he can’t get another till heV.paid for that one.” • Wrong Suggestion The bore'had more than outstayed his welcome and at the end of a fortnight, his weary host thought of a sure way, he hoped, to geKrid of him. “Don’t you think your wife and family must be lonesqme when sep arated so long from you?\ he in quired of the unwanted visitor. “It had not occurred to me,” said the latter, springing to his feet, “thanks for reminding me. I’ll use your telephone at once and ask them to drive down and join me here.” TWO OF A KIND «■-¿T;. - ------------ - I Crow—Ha, ha, so your wife won’t let you in either.. The outfit I am with is very good mannered and wood not yell at no golfers in a ungentlemanly manner. A couple of weeks ago we was pass ing a linx and Otto Bixby yelled at a duffer but he was so deep in a trap he could hear no voices unless they were from China. There was a few women, players in shorts and at first I thought they was fugitives from ladies’ day in a turkish bath. We phid no attention to them, not even one yoo hoo and the ladies seemed soarer than if we had paid some notiss to ’em. Women may get soar if soldiers yell at them but they mind it worse if they snub ’em. There was a very pompous looking man looking for a lost ball near the highway witch we marched on and one of the boys made some re marks like “Looking for something, mister?” and “Did you try under the bureau?” He did not think much of -it then but ever since reading about the General Lear incident he has been scared stiff for fear the man was a officer and got his descrip tion. • * * • Personally I think General Lear is getting Worse punishment than his troops and I bet he wishes he never played golf in his life. I think peo ple are rubbing it in. Dissipline is dissipline in a army and most of the boys here do not think a army should give Bronx cheers to nobody on the line of march and espeshully not to ladies no matter if they wear shorts or whoopskirts. This' is a all out war but we should not be all out of manners. We don’t even wave at nobody no more becuz for all we know it might turn out to be Secretary Stimson or Mrs. Roosevelt. The Lear thing maid the army awful careful. But I hope the people let up on General Lear becuz I hear he had plenty of excuse for being upset. I hear he was nine strokes on a par four hole and still 125 yards from the green when the soldiers yoo hooed^ And not only that but he had gave his opponent a stroke a hole. Anything wood’ve made him soar. Well so much for that. I got the heavy sox in case I get to Iceland. Tell Irene Mahoney if I get to Ire land I will look -up her old man. Love, - ' Oscar. Not much headway can be found in making the world fit to. live in again until somebody invents a tank-proof treaty or develops a hog-proof man. Beautiful models have paraded in a style show before the draftees at Camp Upton. The* idea is to show the soldiers what the well-dressed Iceland woman will not wear. • « 25-CENT SPECIAL \ There’s one thing I can’t do, I’ve found, < No matter how I try. I cannot get my mouth around A sandwich three decks high. Merrill Chilcote. We have seen the photos oi Marshal Semyon Budenny of the Russian forces, and think this Is the first time a panzer mustache h&s been used in the war. HERE’S HOPING! When the Hitlers cease to hittle And the “Mussies” muss no more Then may humans,, sit and whittle With no further thoughts of war. It appears that Uncle Sam has decidedlto cease bundling with the Bunds. TRAFFIC NOTE ' Any tricks . Are rather risky When you m ix . Your .gas and whisky,1 ? to/V a toto^totototototoft* tototototoQ»C**^ ç* to to to to A* to A* Ai to to Af ^A*A* ? ? ? ^ ■ -- ? to to totototototo A* totototo,to to to to tototo A* to to A-A* A* to tototo to A* A* to tototo A* A quiz with answers offering | ANOTHER I information on various subjects | The Questióne 1. How many years is a chiliad? 2. Why do many Orientals re move their spectacles'when talk ing with another person? *•3. What peninsula comprises Spain and Portugal? 4. Which is the highest water falls in the world? 5. John Brown, the abolitionist, of Harper’s Ferry, West Virginia, fame, was the father of how many children? 6. What goddess personified thh too fhe “ ‘ yout t t Greeks? The Answer» 1. One'thousand years. 2. The Orientals do this as a mark of respect. 3. Iberian. 4. Angel falls in Venezuela is the world’s loftiest cataract. It / is about 4,400,feet, or. 26 times as high as Niagara falls. 5. Twenty, two of whom Were killed in the raid upon the armory and arsenal at Harper’s Ferry, October 16, 1859. 6. The Goddess Hebe personified youth to the Greeks. . Dream of Home Comes True TS A “home of your own” an un- fulfilled dream? Then you will want to know more about the Fed eral Housing Administration, one of the most important agencies, created by .the national govern-, ment in the past few years. Loans insured by the FHA have helped thousands of families— many making under $2,000 a year •—to buy their own homes. Other government agencies might also be o f interest to you. Our 32-page booklet fully describes how you can make use of these government agencies, also government-sponsored em ployment and education opportunities. Gives facta on Selective Service. Send your order to: READER-ROME SERVICE 117 Minna St. San Francisco, Calif. Enclose 10 cents In coins for your copy of WHAT YOUR GOVERN- MENT DOES FOR YOU. Name... Address. Do You Want to Be a Cartoonist? For Club Plant Writ« THE CALIFORNIA CARTOONIST CLUB M S H a rri»o o S t . - Baa Flm a d s o * . C a lif. Valueless Profanity Profane swearing never did any man any good. No man is the richer or wiser or happier for it. —Louth. w n u r j ^ X T R A £ O ó P W / T f t F R M t J = m i rimi siti ani tetta itti tu ani m u n s i ■'V My Three Friends Three men are my friends: He who loves me, he who.is my ene my, and he who is indifferent to me. He who loves me teaches me tenderness; he who hates me teaches me caution, and he who is indifferent,'self-reliance.—Anon. It s A GOOD ■* AMERICAN CUSTOM ' P PITCHING HORSESHOES £ - & after dinner became a good American, custom.back in the 1 8 th century when this sport took the place o f quoits, Mr p - !> EQUALLY ENJOYABLE before and after dinner is the good American custom of smoking mild, fragrant King Edwards, America’s fastest selling cigar. For a cool, mellow smoke, light up a King Edward today. 1 The merchant who advertises must treat you better than the merchant who does not He must treat you as though you were the most influential person in town. ARE AN As a matter of cold fact you are. You hold the destia&of Us business in your C l I r k l T I A a hands. He knowsjt. He shows i t And you i IN F LU E NT I AL benefit by good service, by courteous treat- í ^ment, by good value—and by lowerprices. PERSON , W - V-