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About The Wickes Pioneer (Wickes, Mont.) 1895-1896 | View This Issue
The Wickes Pioneer (Wickes, Mont.), 28 Sept. 1895, located at <http://montananewspapers.org/lccn/sn85053310/1895-09-28/ed-1/seq-2/>, image provided by MONTANA NEWSPAPERS, Montana Historical Society, Helena, Montana.
take Aticheri pollen% By ROBERT G. BAILEY. WICKES, MONTANA. Our eccentricity is our neighbor . / 'blame foolery.\ The job of christianiing China should be let to the lowest bidder. Bloomer balls are all the rage now. eihicago seems to have set the pace. The man wearing a black eye is in Mourning because the ether fellow didn't get it. Whipping the overloaded team is a poor way of trying to overcome the (milts of a bad road. If all good intentions were promptly carried out, the millenium would be along in just a little bit. The Chinaman should be taught to feel something of the respect for an American citizen that he has for a Japanese. Nails have gone up $26 per ton owing to the approach of a presidential elec- tion. So many campaign Iles will have to be nailed. Of the 110 snakes just slain by an Ohio farmer, one had two heads. The snake -story season is still with us, and there are other farmers. Mrs. Davis of Indiana, aged 104, whose tobacco pipe has been burled with her, does not seem'to have realized thet nicotine might finally cary her off. Cycling in the east has seriously affected the sale of pianos, for whereas the girl who used to work the pedal to the misery of others now works it for her own pleasure. The evolution is ac- cepted. Edison's definition of electricity is \a mysterious fluid about which nothing is known.\ This is an old definition of water in Kentucky, but it does not fol- low that water and electricity art identical. An emu I, the London Zoo is said to be a perfect ventriloquist, being able to throw its voice at will. It must be related to the porcupine which, though it cannot throw its voice, very readily slings a quill. Ex -Senator W. M. Evarts spends most of his time at his farm near Windsor, Vt. His sight is falling, but he still takes a lively interest in all current news. He is very much loved and honored by the people about him. And now they say that bloomers are to be entirely superseded by the trim, closer -fitting knickerbockers, because the ratter are more convenient and comfortable. Goodness gracious! How much further is this convenient and comfortable argument to be advanced? The progressive newspapers of the land are full of \good roads,\ but the country at large is still full of \bad\ roads, But to know better is to do bet- ter, in many cases, and now that so much splendid preaching is being done along this line of thought it is probable that more or less of it will sooner or later be put into practice. \Good roads\ In now in the air everywhere. By and by they nrbe down on the surface of the earth, where men can utilize them for traveling purposes. There is a new fad in bicycle riding that is rapidly gaining in rural popu- larity ,although it is not likely that it will ever be introduced in the larger cities. The problem that confronted the country swains was how to take a lady with them for a spin without her riding an extra wheel, or putting them to the expense of a \bicycle built for two.\ Inventive minds have solved the difficulty. Two young men owning bicycles join forces and fasten their wheels together by a board that serves as a seat for the lady of their choice. The disadvantage of this system is that each fellow is obliged to be content with half a girl, but despite this its use is growing. SiatiAties showing the amount of the government receipts and expenditures per head of population over a period of a decade and a half are given in the last report of the treasury department. According to the figures compiled by him, the receipts for the year 1894 show the lowest amount per capita for-the entire period, being only $4.455. The highest figures were reached in 1882, when the amount was $7,864. The ex- penditures per capita, on the other hand, reached a high figure Past year, viz„ $5.346, the largest amount for any year with the exception of 1891 /tad 1893, the latter year furnishing the larger amount, namely, $5.659. The low-water mark was reached in 11.86, when the expenditures were $4.210 per (spits. The expenditures on account of pensions reached the highest amount per capita In 1893, but with the excep- tion of that year, the year 1894 fur- nished the highest amount per caalta under that head. With a population of 400,000,000 Tro- pic, China has only 100 i physlelans. A nation cannot help increasing rapidly finder such conditions.- Summerville Journal. The Journal should ha vs added that In (7hina R physician who falls to cure his patient is instantly pot to death. That explains it, Iiismara k's head has been measured b) a German sculptor, and found to be cow - 01011S 111 ft volume or the skull is the greatest on re' or(I But when it somea to a ,welled head Bismarck \isn't In i['with the young Emperor William female. WILL SOON BE ON EXHIBITION IN NEW YORK. - An Aquatic Slaw mat 1 It t V, III No „ Akio tit Startle Am, rica. s. trot tete - Feed on Sea Plan 1.• II it loan re- - - N NE OF THE PitIN- r 04) i \\ cipal attractions at r (:'‘.. 1 the New York ,„. js,,, aquarium, In Bat- tery park, which is to be opened next November, will be a manatee, or sea cow, The mana- tee, which is an aquatic mammal and not strictly a Ash, has an elongated body like that of whales, the anterior limbs being flat- tened into fins and the posterior limbs wanting externally, and only being represented by rudimentary bones. The head is conical, without a distinct line of separation from the body; the fleshy nose much resembles that of a cow, and the full upper lip has on each side a few bria l ly tufts of hair. The swim- ming pkws may be used for climbing up the muddy bank of rivers; separate bones may be felt through the skin, and the fingers are provided with small nails. The skin is a grayish black color, with a few scattered bristles. They inhabit the sea shoress especially about the mouths of rivers, and feed upon aquatic plants. They do not feed ashore, though they sometimes quit the water, and not infrequently suPport themeelves in a semi -erect position. Under these circumstances they present at •a distance a somewhat human appearance, increased by the ' !I E BIG S14,'A- COW I • thre41 , 0n each fore foot, or fourteen in all. In his description of it bays: \Each leg tertninates in a sort of ran, and with these the little reptile paddies the air like a locuet, or like a partially fledged bird testing its pin- ions for the first time.\ THE POLECAT. The lute of One Species of It Produces Hydroid la. As the skunk a dangerous animal? I should say so, remarked Mr. E. P. Glaze of St. Louis at the Hotel Page. \I know very many people will be sur- prised at the assertion, but there is one species of this unpopular tribe that is as much to be (treaded as a rattle- snake, as I learned one year while so- journing in western Texas. One night in midsummer a party of us were camp- ing out on the prairie of Llano county when we were k awakened by the screams of a colored boy who had been takea along to cook for the outfit. He said that something had bitten him, and ex- amination showed that his head was pretty badly torn. There were unmis- takable evidences of a skunk in the vicinity, and there was no doubt that it had done the deed. s \The sequel is that a few days later the boy died a most horrible death of hydrophobia. I learned that it was not a rare thing for the bite of these miser- able little cats to produce that dread ailment, and several well -authenticated cases of it occurred before I left the state. Some people think that hystro- phobia finds its origin in these ani- mals.\ MONSTER SNAKE. With a Body as Big Around as a Water Pall. The people of this neighborhood are very much alarmed over the fact that a monster snake has been seen at large SETTLED THE BILL. This Little Woman Worsted • Blaylock and Then Had a Good Cry. Brooklyn people are just now enjoy- ing the clever manner in which a yen. erable and rich but somewhat stingy Quaker was outdone by a clever little woman recently. The Quaker owns a great deal of property in the City of Churches, including many dwellings. One of these is in Cambridge place, and has been occupied for a year or twO by a purser on a transatlantic liner, who was laid off two or three years ago for irregular habits. It was terri- bly mortifying to his spirited little wife, as they had no money laid by and soon became destitute. They got behind in their rent, and finally their Quaker landlord, who had up to this time personally called to collect his money every month, ordered them out after having lost two months' rent. He then placed the house in the agent's hands. Three days after the purser's family were dispossessed a business- like little woman called at the office and rented the Cambridge place house at $5 less a month than it had been bringing before, and she moved in the same. Bright and early on his regular rent day the Jamaica Quaker called at the Cambridge house to get acquainted with the new tenants. What was his astonishment to have his ring answered by the same pretty little woman whom he had dispossessed a week before. She cordially invited him in and told him that her husband had been reinstated and that they expected to occupy the house right along. She did not forget to express her pleasure at the reduction in rent. Finally, the old man suggested that he would expect the $60 for back rent, and asked her if she was going to pay it. She went to the mantel and brought back a sheet covered with fig - urea, which she handed to the Quaker. The footing was $59.60. \That's what - distinct lips, the long whiskers in the on the outskirts of the town for a num- male and the pectoral mammae in the her of days, and it is feared that some- body will be attacked by the serpent before it is killed or captured. Mt monster was first seen about three weeks ago by Justice Veltor. Since then it has been seen at intervals by I. W. Valentine, superintendent of the Baptist Union Sunday School, and by Dr. Oliver Jones. The latter chased the snake Into the woods in an effort to capture it, but was unsuccessful All agreed that the *snake is about fourteen feet in length, with a body gs•big around as a pall. Its head is diamond -shaped, and the top is sur- mounted by a crest that is shaped like a crown. Some time ago, Dr. Wood, a resident of this place, died, but before his death he liberated a number of large snakes which he held captive. The snake which has been seen is believed to be one of them. The monster is referred to by the people hereabouts as the \King of Snakes.\ HER FACE AN INSPIRATION. Not for Its Particular Beauty, but Be- cause It Looks Po Bright. New York Herald: There is a face which I meet frequently on the street. It is not particularly a beautiful face, but it is so bright and so happy that the atmosphere always seems clearer after it halt' passed. Its owner is evi- dently a working girl, for each morning she takes a car at a certain corner, and she carries a lunch. And I feel like congratulating the firm which has cap- tured that ray of sunshine to light up some dingy office or beam across some dreary dry goods counter at the im- patient customers. I am sure she is worth her weight in gold to her em- ployer. Her face but puts in contrast the multitude of gloomy, weary, worried, sorrow -stricken countenances one sees passing up and down the city streets, and leads one to wonder why therm ere not more of these exceptions. If it is poupole.to cultivate such a disposition aslhines out through that pair of laughing eyes, there's a deal of blame attached to those people whose faces have the effect of an August thunder cloud on the community. Matrimony as • Last Resort, Atchison Globe: \I'm about to be married,\ writes a girl to this office, \and lnstead of receiving congratula- tions I am aware that I need a defense, and take this means of making it. I am. 27 years old—old enough to know better and do better, but I have no choice. The man Is a widower with ruleetId. He liked his first wife bet- ter than he does me S I liked a man years ago better than I like him, so we are quits on that. lie wants a house- keeper; I want a home. I was brought up to sing a little and play a little, but have no trade. My parents will be glad to PPP me settled. I would be happier earning $5 or $6 a week, and taking rare of myself, but I was not taught how. \There are thousands of women in my position. Every man who brings up his daughters without starting them with the means of earning a livelihood is responsible for just such a mistake as I shall make next month.\ A Foor.WInged Frog. The curiosity of tropical Afri , a Is the wonderful flying freg, first de scribed by Illahoff, of the Equatorial African Expedition, which returned to Europe Its thT fall of 1894. This oddity of the reptiles family Is about the size of a common' bullfrog and resembles other members of the order of hairs- chians in everything tint itos feet. each 0/ whit h is *ebbed and enormously en larged. so intuit so as to form apiendid subatitittes for trite wings The crea- ture hut fise toes on outh of the other two which make four separate mem brahee on eat h of Its bind feet and Queens and Salvationists. Philadelphia Ledger: Queen Sophia of Sweden, whose 59th birthday has just been celebrated with much pomp and ceremony at Drothiningholm castle, is one of the most enthusiastic friends and supporters of the Salvation Army, a distinction which she shares with her niece, the queen regent of Hol- land. Both queens publicly counte- nance the work of General Booth, send- ing liberal subscriptions to his various Oinde and expressing the opinion that on religious and political grounds it is wise to encourage a form of worship which seems to suit the masses and finds the way to their hearts. But the Empress of Germany and the emperor, too, give evidence of the most undis- guised hostility to the salvationists— their army being by imperial eider subjected to annoyances and persecu- tions by the police. • Reminded of HI. Annan' Days. If you want to live to a good old age, do not buy or try to drive a horse that has ever belonged to the fire depart- ment. A friend who comes into mar- ket three times a week some time ago got such a horrie, and the animal dfd well enough until one night about 1 o'clock as he was coming in with a load the fire bells rang as he was pass- ing an engine house. The old horse pricked up his Par, and threw rip his tall, and when the engine (same out he took after It at a gallop. All effort, to hold him were In vain. Ile was sting to the flre, and he got there, top, as soon as the engine did, though he left some of his load on every Mork on the road. Thls Town Froteets excuse , . At last a place has been found where the poor bicyclist is protected It Is in the town of Chieonee. M as s an d any perann found throwing into the street asheo otiess, crockery. crap Iron. tacks. nails or anything that notht injure the tires of bicycles will be prOPPCIltild. it cost us to move out and in again,\ said she, and here's 50 cents to balance the account for back rent,\ and she produced a receipt all filled in an ready for his signature. The old niar signed it, and then, swallowing a lump in his throat, said: \Verily thee Is a diligent helpmate.\ The clever little woman bowed him out, closed the door and at down to have a good cry. FLOTSAM. Precious beyond price are good reso- lutions. Valuable beyond price are good feelings. If you wish to appear agreeable in society, you must consent to be taught many things which you know already. There's nothing like sticking to a thing when you apply yourself to it, as the fly said when it alighted on the fly paper. The early and the latter part of hu- man life are the beet, or, at least, the most worthy of respect; the one is the age of innocence, the other of reason. The Intellectual worker should have at least two Seasons of complete rest every year. The freshness of his work will show the advantage of following such a course. Anything that adds to the neatness and beauty of the home and Its be- longings not only increases the owner' pleasure, but fosters refinement and real betterment of the household. As the next thing to having wisdom ourselves is to profit by that of others, so the next thing to having merit our- selves is to take care that the - meri- torious profit by us. For he that re- wards the deserving makes himself one of the number. There are few characteristics more valuable than that which gives a repu- tation for absolute truthfulness. Ono may decline to express any views on a even - tnlbject and not be open to criticism; but whatever is said should be unimpeachable and as frankly et - tercel as possible. NEW PROVERBS. The wise man lets time work his re- venges for him. A good neighbor is one who minds his own business. It's a lucky husband that can live up to his record as a lover. Woman'. a oil it WWI Is a polite term for woman's willingness. When a habit becomes too strong to break it le a bad habit. In the game of life the poorest hand often takes the most trbka The woman who ret 'urns A kiss for a blow makes a bid for another blow A constant dropping will wear away the percentage of the hest ball team The homely woman \gels fat,\ while the pretty one, slowly \grows stout \ Most people feel a sort of sneaking Natisfaction whenever a good man goes wrong The woman \ ii bony ahoulderlil usul- ally finds hei affliction more than she ran bare m a se s asseme of happiness la too apt to lociode Fem.-thing *Huh is Out 01 his relish OUR WIT AND HUMOR. POINTED PRODUCTIONS OF THE Fur WRITERS. Original mid tieleetet \ ‘ IV•regraphs Dished Up Especially for Our Lean Readers - Passing Events as le or ed from flatbortats' Standpoint. NE summer night a son of Adam strayed Into a garden far above the world. Where, mid the palms, a gool- Mg fountain played, Where lanterns glowed a n d pennons were unfurled. lie thought of Eden's Garden old; and then, I grieve The tale to tell, he looked about for Eve. A wail of wond'rous music, and she came. As if from out the darkness of the night, Where blackness was before, a path of flame Disc sos l p r i e te. d her, dancing like an elfin The son of Adam viewed her flying feet. And thought, \This charming Eve I'd like to meet!\ He came again where Eve each eve was seen, With fragrant flowers to win het sweetest smiles; They met, and, 'neath the stately palms of green, He felt the power of wine and wom- an's wiles. A bottle serpent stole away his brain— (And doubtless took his missing watch and chain.) At last his purse was like a punctured tire. At last the charmer from his pres- ence flew; And when the waiters came he roused their ire, And met the fate that father Adam knew; A modern victim of the cloven hoof. They promptly deive him from the gar- den roof! —Earle H. Eaton in Truth. Bleyeular Co-operation. Mary—Oh, John, I'm just dying to get a wheel, As alb of the ladies do Say, John, won't you help me to get It, dear? I've always been nice to you. John—Dear Mary, you know I could never refuse To assist one I so much ad mire; .• So, if you'll get the wheel, I will hustle around For the air that you need in the tire. —W. J. Lamptorr in Truth. Beyond Her. The New Woman stamped her foot and her eyes gleamed with rage. Words of wrath were evidently on her tongue, though slip could not utter them. Slackening her 11n-de-slecie costume in various places, she twisted and wrig- gled until the collar button, thwt had slipped down her back, fell on the floor. As she picked it up and adjusted it in its proper place, a Mob of defeat set- tled upon her countenance. She lacked the courage of her convic- tions. Though the occaelon undoubted- ly demanded profanity, she could net swear.—Ex. A New Kind of Lozenge,. Mrs. Briggson—Harold, mother called In at your office yesterday, and seeing some cough lozenges on your desk took several. To -day she Is suffering dread- fully, and .he thinks you meant to poison her. Mr. Briggson (the architect)—Cough lozenges! Great Scott! That was e box of samples of our little mosaic til- ing. for hotel and office floors.—Good Company. Largely Imaginative. \fhe artist who drew this picture must have a wonderful imagination,\ remarked Miss Highland. \What does the picture represent?\ asked Miss Dlnwiddle. \It is a picture of a summer hotel, with a young man on the piazza.\— Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph. - — I ight ito,ded. Willie (Iltang—hrg awfully strange, but when 1 go into the wittah, i nevah can hold my head undah faw a tno- ment. She—It would be very surprising if you could.—Truth. Folly, when 'tie chronic, is a terrible dire -axe,. , it flutist, I am persuaded. be quite devoid of pain; For every one who has, it seems per- fectly at ease— R,o many are afflicted, and PO very few complain! But Ja•tifteation. Jo tt er. it A VP you heard that Smith Is trying to gtt a '\t ration frond ht? wife' Brown No: un what grounds? Jones- rrneity; he says that she eats biscui(. In bea. Ran.Fanelifeo Call. Wilmington. )el,;' is just now floodel with oonntertelt silver dollars. NEBRA&KA STATE FAIR. Hpeclal Rates an:Tr u ai o ns ute y . la the Burling- t Round trip tickets to ()Inaba at the one way rate, plus 50 cents (for admits skin coupon to the State Fairs will be on bale September 13 to 20 at Burling- ton Route stations in Nebraska, in Kansas on Hberlin, Concordia otr, St. Francis lines, und in Iowa and Missou- ri within MO miles of Omaha. Nebraskans are assured that the 'ss State Fair will be a vast improvement on its predecessors. Larger—more tio ii- liant---better worth seeing. Every one who can do so should spend State Fair week, the whole of it, in Omaha. The outdoor celebrations will be par- ticularly attractive, surpassing any- thingof the kind ever before under- taken by any western city. Every evening Omaha will be aflame with electric lights and glittering pageants will parade the streets. The program for the evening ceremonies is: 11 m I n o i n v g a ia l y, t•'ept. Idth—Grand Bicycle a Tuesday, Sept. 17th— Nebraska's Parade. t‘e( i ' c I I . i tt ie rn s de (ia s . ., Sept 18th —Milltary and civ Thursday, Sept, 19th—Knights of Ak-Sar-Ben Parade, to be followed by the ''Feast of Nondamin\ Round trip tickets to Omaha at the reduced rates above mentioned:as well as full information about the Burling- ton lioute's train service at the time of the state Fair, can be had on ap- plication to the nearest B. & M. It. R. agent. Progress of Civilization in Kentucky. Three thousand strangers, nacjitely mountaineers, visited Middleshorotigh, Ky., the Other day to attend a circus, and there was not a Winchester or a pistol to be seen, not a fight or even a quarrel occurred, and the drunken men, if there were any, were too few to be noticed. This remarkable change from the old Bell county style is thought worthy Of remark by a local paper, which felicitates thc commun- ity upon the circumstances. Tickets at Reduced Batas. Will be sold via the Nickel Plate road on occasion of the meeting of the Ger- man Catholic Societies of the United States at Albany, N.Y., Sept. 15th to Is th. For further information address J. Y. Calahan, Gent Agent, ill Adams , St , Chicago. Robbie—What's an epigram! Susie—Oh, It's a way of saving something everybody knows so that only clever people can get any sense out of it —Truth. HALL'S CATARRH CURE 18 a liquid and its taken internally, and acts directly on the blood and mucous surfacer; of the system. Write for testimonials, tree. Manufactured by F. CliENEY I CO., Toledo, 0. \My congregation don't believe in free silver,\ sighed the (gauntry parscn, as he sadly noted the large number of copper peunies in the col'ection basket—Truth, The Foundation uf (iood Health is Pure, Rich Blood And the surest, best way to purify your blood is to take Hood's Sarsaparilla Hood's Pills ti`,.;t 4 Virc1741=1,7 - . * ASK YOUR DRUGGIST FOR * *THE BEST* FOR INVALID S * JOHN CARLE A SONS, Now York. * TO Chicago and Sliouis ) HA)' ALSAM cum.. Our he!, letoMote• • lottlr.s.., soorth Ne•er Fall• te Restore Gray Hair to Its Youthful Color. Curw group Woos... S heir Anr , •rtA I Oli I 1.0 Patents. Trade -Marks, essminstion sod settle* a. tieSites, uuu 'if In..trOOtel P•osol for I or e Cc 1011,9 r I atrot.\ 'Au= yy / Ns! .10111N W. 110R Ft la, • RtorTan. 3yrsIn last sir, IS aoljod lest lug claw..., •tt,\ sine, L N. IL No. 37. 1898. Far Kindly Militleal TIM PAM Whin You Writ, to An AtlyxitlInr• i t it
