{ title: 'Kendall Chronicle (Kendall, Mont.) 1902-190?, June 30, 1903, Page 2, Image 2', download_links: [ { link: 'http://www.loc.gov/rss/ndnp/ndnp.xml', label: 'application/rss+xml', meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed', }, { link: '/lccn/sn85053338/1903-06-30/ed-1/seq-2.png', label: 'image/png', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn85053338/1903-06-30/ed-1/seq-2.pdf', label: 'application/pdf', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn85053338/1903-06-30/ed-1/seq-2/ocr.xml', label: 'application/xml', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn85053338/1903-06-30/ed-1/seq-2/ocr.txt', label: 'text/plain', meta: '', }, ] }
About Kendall Chronicle (Kendall, Mont.) 1902-190? | View This Issue
Kendall Chronicle (Kendall, Mont.), 30 June 1903, located at <http://montananewspapers.org/lccn/sn85053338/1903-06-30/ed-1/seq-2/>, image provided by MONTANA NEWSPAPERS, Montana Historical Society, Helena, Montana.
2. Kendall, Montana, June 30, 1503 A NEW ENTERPRISE. BY MAX ADELER. \If you only had a little capital to invest,\ said the young man, as, he took a chair and sat down close to my desk, \I might put you in the way of a good thing.\ \Mine?\ \011 no. It's a petrifaction company; the Columbia Petrifaction company, of Clarion caunty. I could spare you 100 shares.\ \What +does the company do?\ \Why you know, it owns a limestone spring up here in Clarion county. That spring used to belong to a man named Herkimer Jones. One day, when his well ran dry, Jones went off and brougut a bucket of wa- ter from that spring and the family drank it. What was the consequence? Next morn- ing when the neighbors called, Herkimer Jones was sitting at the supper table turned to solid stone. He had half of a sausage in his mouth; that' was turned to stone, too. So was Mrs. Jones, and Ellen P. Jones, and Herkimer Jones, Jr., and the baby. The limestone water did it. The heirs closed the whole lot out to a sculptor named Ferguson, who arranged them in a group and sold them to the British museum as models from the antique. That is, excepting the baby. He put plaster paris wings on the baby and passed him off as an original design of a Cupid.\ \What about the company -V - 1 -.7r - \Well you see, the company at owe bought up the Bering property and they in- tend to go into the petrifying business upon a large scale. For example, s'pose'n you get a contract from congress to execute an equestrian statue of Gen. Wash irgton. First you find a horse; you make teat horse drink at the spring, and there he is! Perfectly splendid! Then you find a man who bears a sort of general resemblance to Washing- ton. You arrange a picnic; get that man up there in the woods; offer him a drink; and in 11 minutes you can chip spells cif of him with a store -chisel. Then you mount your man on your horse, and there you have a group of statuary such as Greece in her palmiest days would have given her bottom dollar to get.\ \I see.\ \The company, you know, purposes to have the country poorhouse located near to the spring; and as the president of the board of trustees owns 60 shares, we calculate to solidify paupers right along; without inter- mission, say 20 or 30 a day. Don't you see what a magnificent prospect it °peas up for high art in America? We can fill any order. Say you want a statue of Gen. Jackson, aiyi the -only available pauper is too fat. What do we do! We petrify him, and then we chip — him down and - touch tip tris - ccrtrata— narc, maybe, with a chisel. Suppose you want a pair of paints to work into the front door to a church. We select a couple of venerable vagrants, harden them, tarn their noses down, to give them dignity of expres- sion, and the bricklayers then can build them right into the door jambs.\' \Suppose the demand for that kind of statuary be small?\ \Then we come down to a basis of utility at once. S'posin' there's a pauper with in- flammatory rheumatism in his leg? We pet- rify him. We sell him to a doctor. That doctor cuts off the leg with a marble saw, and there he has that inflamratteny rheu- matism riot before him turned into gran- ite. S'positd one of them has a torpil liver? . In two hours the doctors can exsmine that liver just a4 if it was a brickbat, with the torpidity s:tekirg out all over it. Mied you, if the supp:y of paupers holds out, I venture to say taat the day is nct far distant when you can take petrified livers, and hearts, and nriscles, and brain pans and build a two-story house with them, with all the modern consaniences, a mighty sight c rap- er than you can build it out of common stone. Imagine living in a house made of ossified livers! Be unique, wouldn't it? It would attract attention. \I don't care for such things myself, but—\ \Gen. Bangs, he tried some curious experi- ments with the water out of that seeing. He threw a bucketful on, cat that was jump - Mg about on his back fence one night; and there sae is now, fur up, tail elevated, mouth open, picturesque and natural as life! Next night he soused another one; rams effect of c eirse; and now Gen. Bangs has 13 ex- quisite statuette* of cats in various atti- tudes oi grace ranged around on his fecce. Ferguson. the sculptor. told aim he couldn't have had those cats done in Carrara marble in Europe under $60,000. But, of courts, you have to be careful when ycu : eve the Co- lumbia water around. Gen. P.ares kept his in a bane!, and the other day his mether- in•latv filled a pitcher from it, accuirutaLy, and tbok a drink. One hair Iller it took six men to carry her to the window so they could lower her to the pavement with a derrick. She avefeted nearly a ter., and was so hard ycu couls..n't dad him with a sledge- ham.ner. Tne general.was Sony, of ccurse; and after he had her mounted cm a leve:ving pedestal be kept her in his front parlor for a while, petting her off on his friends as an impottid sta.Le of Minerva. But, firaily, as she excited unpleasant cimments, he had her cut into slabs and put into his cemetery lot as tombstones. He had the gratifying reflection that she is near those who were dear to her. Let me tell you that if our company once gets to work, and paupers are plenty, a man who wants a variegated tombstone can get something that will please his taste at rates that will make the marble. yard people sick.\ \It looks like a good thing, but I believe I don't care to go into it.\ \I'll tell you what I'll do. I'm a little pressed for money now, and if you'll buy 30 shares, you may take them at half price, and I'll petrify any of your relations you say for nothing. How's that?\ \I have no relations that I want in that condition.\ \No aunt, or grandmother, or anything that would work up well into a table top, or a slab for a fixed washstand?\ \No.\ • \And you're going to throw away this chance of promoting aesthetic culture and of encouraging the love for the beautiful in your own country?\ \I'M afraid so.\ The young man shook his head and sighed, as if he could hardly bear to thing of the de. genersey of the times, and then le said: . \Could you lend me a quarter, anyhow?\ I lent it to him, and he went away with a solemn promise to' repay it on the morrow. 13ntireumat - istive-gepe-tt , Europe-to_selLitis *hares, for he never returned..: --/C - Y. Weekly. PEANUT -EATERS IN CARS. A Public Nuisance That most People Would Like to See Put Down and Out. \If I could ha% e my way about it,\ said a senFitiN e citizen, according to the New York Sun, \I ‘N ould have a law passed forbidding the eating of pea- nuts in elevated or surface cars, and re- quiring the guards or conductors to eject from the cars any person so of- fending. -\Men strattile an it may seem, not children: are the chief offenders in this direction. You may see grown men sitting in a car, and, regardless of their fellow passengers, calmly eating pea- nuts and dropping the shells on the floor. ' \To many persons the odor of pea- nuts within a confined space, as in a railroad car, is unpleasant, as the sigh t of th-e litter of ehells. on the floor intuit be to all. But the men peanut eaters go right on eating. and so disposing of the shells. Why, I have seen a district messenger boy eating peanuts in a car do better than they in one way any- how. This boy put his empty Elletl. back into the paper bag from which he had emptied the peanuts into his pock- et. \I have seen men eat apples in an ele- vated car and throw the core under the seat. I have seen a man eat a -n or- ange in an elevsed car and not ever - take the trouble to do that with thf orange peel, but tust lay that down or the vaenntiseat beside him. But Euet men as those I reward as fine gentlemen as compared with the grown man whc eats peanuts in an elevated car and drops the shells on the floor. Him I re- gard as— \Well the peanut eater I would have firmly, even if gently, put off the car.\ WRITE WATER IN THE . OCEAN.i staissuge Phenomenon Witnessed Rare Intervals In Mae Trap- ' teal Regions. Of the many sights witnessed in the oceans of the globe, one of the most curious and most weird is that de- scribed by sailors as \the milky sea,'\ ships being surrounded for several hours by water that appears to be a anovey whiteness. Compiled from ex- periences recorded during the lost 70 years. an interesting account of the phenomenon Is given on the North At- lantic and Mediterranean Pilot Chart The spectacle is restricted to the dark- ness of n'ght and rare eccaelons, awl ; while it is limited mainly to the worth- er waters of the tropical belt, it ap- pears to be more common in the In- dian ocean than in the Atlantic and likeific. From the white water the light is so strong that Ordinary Dews ; paper print can be read en board ship. but the scene all around is ef an awe- . Inspiring description. The horizon is blotted out, sea and sky seem to be- come one in a sort of universal lumi- nous fog. which, like a London fog. robs the observer of the sense of dis- tance and direction, the deck being lit up with a ghastly, shadowless light. Last June off the west coast of South America a bucket of the white water emntied back into the sea resembled molten lead. This curious sight has interested scientific investigators, Dar- win among them; but while it is, no doubt, related to the Many phcsphor- escent displays common at pea, there is no difficult explanation forthcom- ing of this particular manifestation or of the singular atmospheric effects re- sulting from it. MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS. Separate consular system& in Nor- way and Sweden have been agreed up- on. There are more millionaires and more paupers in Moscow than in the whole of England. Tasajo, or jerked beef, is the princi- pal export of Uruguay, the amount be- ing 8,500,000 pounds per annum. The great market for it is Cuba. 4 The..'nea.el\ of black lead pencilOs now made from coke. It.is groundland mixed with iron ore and chemicals-, and subjected to pressure under great heat. Among the occupations engaged in by lepers in Egypt, the following have been noted: Teachers, sheikhs, and sellers of vegetables, sweetmeats, fish, cigarettes, water, and. milk. It is complained in Lenden that all the emigrants from southwestern Eu- rope who are ineapable of earring money enough to pay steerage passage to the United State stop in that city+. Great efforts have been made in southern California to produce tea. silk, opium and perfumery, and al- though the climate teeters the mcst sstiefactory growth of the neeeseary plants each has failed becausethe high price of labor makes the crop unrernu• neraeive. Sport is apparently ntet coneideted e 'neceseary e'ement in a French echool. boy's. efileation. An order has just gone fop. h from the director general of eletienlary sci,tels forbidiing mac - leis. to a ile+.v the:: pupils to play leap- fcf:thr.11, rounders, tope, 'op. scotch And ether games. I.nster, the chess champion, in a Ix( eat interview„ declared that chess ing, rot -carried to excess, improves '11 mar's bcalth. \Most of the promi- nent players,\ he added, \live to an ad- tn need age. But nervous people -play chess at night. If they do II cc cc n't sleep.. Nor in e morn - or t' c can't work. They sl-coldn't play at al. in fact. Chese is beneficial to a normal man. just as athletics if good for him. The chess. player live.* longer than the athlete.\ COFFINS FOR THE CHINESE. The Celestials Rave a Strange Fancy for Burial Caskets Several Feet Too Long. room as a giant. Not one inch less than 6 1 / 2 or seven feet will satisfy for the length of his coffin, the width must be three feet, the depth over three feet and the walls of his coffin at. least two inches thick. These dintensicns, mind you, are for an undersized man For a Chinaman of the regulation oc- cidental proportions the size of his coffin increases in direct ratio to his own stature and bulk, and the conee silence is that at some of my Chinese funerals it seems as if I were burying .reasure qhests instead of receptacles for dead labmanity.\ r STICKS TO OLD CUSTOMS. The Supreme Court of tke United States Is Wedded to Its Traditions. The supreme court of the United States does business on an antiquated ran. While it undoubtedly is the most dignified body of men in this country, if not in the world, it has its peculiari- ties, cod they are striking ones, says the Indianapolis Sentinel. One of the traditions of the court prevents news- paper correspondents from attending the sessions of the court in their pro- fessional capacity. Provision s made for a representative of each of the great press associations, hut the corre- spondents have to push and crowd in behind the rear railing with the hun- dreds of other spectators. Usually they have to stand up. and if they are seen taking notes an attendant escorts them to the door. The result is that the 200 or more correspondents have to depend on their memory for their re- ports of proceedings in the supreme ccurtroom. There is another custom of the court '0 hich prevents correspondents from seeing the opinions handed down until they have secured authority from the .itulges who severally deliver them from the bench. This authority is not always gia en; the judge exercising his ow n discretion about it. Not infre- quently the correspondent has to go to the home of the judge to get the written authority, and perhaps by the time he gets back to the capitol the of- fice of the clerk of the court is closed An undertaker nhoee patronage cov- ers the Chinese quarter on Race street Was talking the other day of the ex- periences which his calling develops from time to time. \It is a curious fact,\ he said, re- ports the Philadelphia , Telegraph, \that the littlest. people I am called upon to bury require the biggest cof- fins. By littlest I mean the littlest as a race—in other words, the Chinese. I suppose I have officiated at more Chinese funerals than any other un- dertaker in the Quaker city, and never yet have / furnished a Chinaman with a coffin that was not several sizes too big for him. Whether their re.ig:on requires this loose fit I am not pre- pared to eay, hut certain it is that bag- giness is a virtue in thein.actlins. just as it is in their blouses and tremens, and that eaery- properly constituted Chinaman selects his lett house as roomy as possible. Take a man AN110 is five feet four inches rgh. and of proport icnate girth. for c xsmre. Nat - orally a fellow of that size could never 2ut much of a splurge in life, yet when he comes to die he takes up as much Geo. R. Creel Main Street, Lewistown Licensed Embalmer and Undertaker Local and Long Distance Telephone Calls Answered Day or Night DENTISTRY Dr. Al. M. Hedges Office Over Judith Hard- ware Store, Lewestown. Has been in practice over thirty years and guarantees all his operations. W. H. CULVEJZ PHOTOGRAPHER Lewistown, Montana Kodaks and Amateur's Supplies , For Sale
