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About Kendall Chronicle (Kendall, Mont.) 1902-190? | View This Issue
Kendall Chronicle (Kendall, Mont.), 07 July 1903, located at <http://montananewspapers.org/lccn/sn85053338/1903-07-07/ed-1/seq-2/>, image provided by MONTANA NEWSPAPERS, Montana Historical Society, Helena, Montana.
2. Kendall, Montana, jut, 7, 1903 COLLAR PHILOSOPHY There are few subjects which should be discussed with anything but an impartial mind if it is desired to render a just opinion on their merits and demerits, and the subject of collars is assuredly no exception to this rule. At the same time it must be admitted that the only proper way to di,cues this subject in first to remove it r -a tomes hat paradoxical statement, but perfectly clear to all who affect collars and are aware of their tendency to irritate one if one is at all heat- ed, as may naturally be expected in debate. Thus the collar, if retained, would become one of the strongest arguments against it- self. Therefore, we will remove our collar and plunge at once into a discussion of the rea- sons for its existence, its good points and its shortcomings, and its ultimate fate, and endeavor, if possible, to decide whether the world would be any happier or brighter for the abolition of collars, or whether collars per se have added to the gayety of nations. The exact time when collars were first worn cannot be set down with any degree of certainty, but it is reasonable to assume that they came into being for utilitarian rather than for ornamental purposes. It is well -'known that the collars of our medie- val ancestors were substantial enough to protect the throat from the swords and pikes of belligerent acquaintances, and it is to be conjectured that the immediate forbears of the modern collar had an equally useful if not so strenuous an origin. As a matter of fact, then, it would appear at first glance that the collar of to -day is but a degenerate descendant of such weighty prcgenitors; but a survey of the uses to which collars are now put should convince one that the plain linen band has grounds for existence equally well based with those of its great -great -great - very -great-grandparents. In the first place, collars serve to overcome the shortcomings of nature. A six-inch neck with a protruding Adam's apple could never hope to get on in the world unassisted by a collar. Such a neck would be simply im- possible. Similarly a one -inch neck with a four -ply chin. Some of our greatest finan- ciers and most astute statesmen would be wallowing in sloughs of despond to -day were not - far the ubi q aitaaa - Hence the variety of collars, and hence the necnsity for keeping one's neck well groomed. The farmers' boys who achieve national fame doubtless owe much to the collar they donned when they entered -upon an urban career. The rich men's sons who waste their talents and meander through life mon- uments to failure may justly attribute many of their errors to an ill-advised selection of collars. Everything has a place and every neck has a collar, but not any collar. Again, collars are hygienic in the extreme. This may not appear true on the surface, but may safely be stated in view of the weird discoveriea that the medical gentle- men are now making. We live in a world of germs. The food we eat, the water we drink, the very air we breathe are all laden with insidious, wicked and death -dealing or- ganisms of less than atomic corporeality but more than monstrous activity. Everything with which we come into contact is germ - laden, the wise men of the mortar tell us. Through the very pores of our skin death blows are delivered. Now, the neck is one of the weakest parts of the human body, and at the same time is one of the most impor- tant parts. The collar guards the neck against the satanic germ. Eureka! a new reason for wearing collars is discovered. Still further, collars form an index to the progress of a nation. The peoples who wear collars are incomparably further ad- tainced than the peoples who leave their necks as nature provided them. Even the savages who string beads into a species of collar are on a higher intellectual plane than their fellow savages who do not run to beads. In our own coun- try a strikirg example of the importance of collars from a national standpoint is af- forded by the Chinese exclusion act. Do you think we would ever have excluded the Chi- nese if they wore collars? But spread the news not abroad. Should the benighted laundrymen of Chinatown ever learn that all their fellow countrymen need do in order to get an entrance into this delectable king- dom is to don collars, the well -laid plans of congress would be agley forever. Our collar makers would dare? a merry fling, but the rest of the nation would pay the piper: In truth, collars have their shortcomings, too. We have already hinted at one fault— the'tendency to irritate one when one is heated—and we have obviated this fault, ---- far the - present; - by removing eve eeller, there are times when the collar cannot with propriety be removed. Such occasion are multiplying daily with the ever-increasing variety of parlor games being placed on the market by enterprising dealers. A ping-pong enthusiast, for example, must feel worried when he is called upon to display his skill -at a social gatherg. How he would like to rip that band of linen from his neck, but he durst not violate the conventionalities. And his opponent, a chubby -faced college youth with comfortable turn -down cillar, or a sporting dominie with queer, stubby, little turn -up, grins at him comfortably, while he, perspiring in his ridiculous but fashionable choker, makes ludicrous and feeble attempts to drive, cut or kill the tiny celluloid sphere. Moreover, if it were not for collars we would not be cursed with collar butt.a. those imps of mischief who delight to frolic in most unexpected quarters while their ag- griev /I .owner is hunting for them on ach- ing knee. But there—everyone will be sat- isfied with a mere hint at that line of argu- ment. The subject is distasteful to a well - regulated mind, and the morbid should never be encouraged. Taking all things into consideration, the problem presented by the collar is one that every man should solve for himself. It sim- ply means that the collarless man is likely to have much physical comfort but possibly nothing of worldly success, while the collar - wearing individual will probably have riches, honor and advancement thrust upon him, but cartainly none of the physical en- joyments attendant upon the existence led by the other fellow. Which do you pre- fer? Just think a bit about it.—N. Y. Times. ICE STOVES ARE IN VOGUE. They Are Fed with Salt and Wili Keep the H01111! Cool la Warm Weather. There'll be unalloyed joy for the fat man this summer. Ilewon't have to go around/ with a wilted collar and with perspiration pouring from his face. No more w ill the irritating and profanity -provoking \prickly heat\ make him feel as if he were being s -lowly tortured to death by piercing with cambric needles. Pre f. Willis Moore, chief of the west -hi r bureau. has determined to put on the market his \ice stove,\ which is guaranteed to make any homes cool enough for a polar bear to live in with comfort, says- a Washington report. The icepick will take the place of the poker and, instead of Sitting around wielding a itifin=le — a - f - b - ii, - 111 that will be necessary will be to throw a couple of hundred pounds of ice into the \stove.\ Instead of going to the refrigerator for one of -the compo- nent parts of a \high ball,\ you need ouly open the door of the \ice stove,\ select a chunk to fit the glass and pro* need as usual. Scotch and siphon wa- ter, together with tonaktoes and let- tuce, may be kept together in the stove. The \ice stove,\ like all other stoves, comes in all sizes. It is a big copper cylinder, which is filled with ice and salt. These directions accompany -each stove: \If in a bedroom and the tempera- ture outside is more than 106 degrees, put three pair of blankets on the bed, chuck 50 pounds of ice in -to the stove, close the e Wows and retire.\ \Users of the ice stove are cautione? to keep overcoats and earmuffs where they can be quickly put on. Don't store in camphor at the bottom of the trunk. No moths can live where there is an ice stove. \Don't go into the warm open ail' when frostbitten by the use of the ice stove. Scrape some snow from the side of the stove and rub ears or extreml- ties vigorously. \Use the pick, which is sent free with each stove, to break 'the ice in the eater pitchers every morning. A ham- mer or an iron dumbbell may be used in emergencies, but the pick is better. \Don't put mint and butter in the same compartment in the stove. The mint is Often stronger than the butter, and when the latter is spread on het bread the flavor is often distasteful, even to those who like julips. \All bottled goods may be kept in the lee stove. The tubular arrangement in the cylinder is excellently adapted Or keeping bottled goods, even after being opened.\ When tramps visit a home where the 0 leis - letnte - tir anre, - -inetead- of being made to chop wood they can be made to cut the lee into cubes for the stove. Ilk return they should be given their dee ner and permitted to cool off in front of the stove. Prof. Moore says that an ice stove sufficient to heat a room 15 by 15 can be bought for $200, and that $75 worth of lee will keep it going all summer. ' FEED CALVES COD LIVER OIL. Young Amanita's Said to Make Great: Glislas on This Kind of Nourishment. An attempt is being made to sub- stitute cod-liver oil for the natural fat of milk in feeding calves accord- ing to the Philadelphia Record. Milk contains, as is generally known, all the nutrients necessary for the full development of young animal Lie. If one of these elements is removed it has to be replaced with a substitute of like kind pi order to insure thrifty de‘el- opment. Butter fat and cream, of course, are the most highly prized and valuable of dairy products and some resourceful individual suggested that these might be extracted by pressing the whole milk through a separatot and their loss be made up to the calf by adding an equivalent amount of cod-liver oil, another fat nutrient. Experiments have accordingly been in progress for some time at one of the agricultural colleges in Yorkshire and recent reports seem to indicate that they are entirely successful. There is but little labor involved. The coe:- liver oil and skim milk is a cheaper feed than the whole milk and the calves apPear to thrive on it. ilmig feeding experiment embracing some 8 weeks it was found that the average aily gain of the calves fed on whule m k until they were weaned was two ponds; those fed on skim milk and oijI and continued on an oil ration, pounds, while those which had been fed oil and milk, but from which the oil was subsequently withheld, only 2.1 pounds. On slaughtering the animals no in- jurious effects on the flesh could be discovered. The daily ration that ap- peared to be successful was made up of five quarts of skim milk and two ounces of cod-liier oil. Fortunately the calves do not develop that aver- sion to cod-liver oil which is natural to most human beings-, but, on the cq,n- trary, readily become accustomed to it. .A SLIP OF THE, TONGUE. It Sounded Strange, But ConsIdeming the Sltaattion There Was Noth- lug Remcaricable Aboat It. A matron of Mount Pleasant, through the need of a lead pencil, furnished no end of embarrassment to herself and great amusement to the passengers of a Fourteenth. street car one morning lately, says the Washington Post. She evidently had come down town, as her attire %voted indicate, for the express purpose ot shopping, and the conspicuous beg which she carried was plainly in- tended to play an important part in the tour, expressing, as it were, the matron's Independence of the pleas- ure of the delivery wagons. As the car neared the business part of town it became somewhat crowded, and the conductor's re- quest to \sit closer, please,\ had rendered every one's discomfort plainly apparent. Particularly true was it to the tall, stately, veil. groomed man who sat next to the resident of Mount Pleasant, all of which seemed to Ile her cue to begin fumbling around in the deep bag. and finally extracting the inevitable shop- ping list which was carefully exam- ined and again placed in the dark re- cesses of the bag. Then the matron suddenly thought of something, so again the list saw the light of day. No, the article was not there, and from her attitude it must have been important and not to be forgotten, so the search for the lead pencil began, during which time the dignified gentleman had very much more than his share of Toning, Whict oftener than once iii- ters-upted his review of the morning paper. However he was very rind natured about it. and ever; time the little woman said \beg pardon\ hi. - hand endeavored to reach his hat and his polite nod assured her that it NV:1 , ; granted.. But the lead pencil could not be found. Bag and pocketbook had ken turned inside mit, still it was nowhere to be seen. W7t 1-, n1 she was a modest little woman and seemed to hesitate about asiki:Ig the conductor or some one near her for a pencil. But with a quick resolvo she gently touched her neighbor's arm. \Beg pardon,\ she said. \may I borrow your shoestrings?\ Of course there was a general titter throughout the car. \My shoestrings, madam?\ said the aristocratic looking man. \Oh did I say shoestrings!\ ex- claimed the little woman. \I meant your lead pencil; shoe strings is wield I want to add to my shopping list.\ The little woman soon returned tho pencil amid blushes and thanks. and settled back in her seat determined to remain quiet- until her (1 ,, stiratt:m was reecheel. Then the Willard was in sight and the stately gentleman prepared to leave the car, the con- ductor in the meanwhile having en- tered it. \Good morning, senator,\ said the conductor, as his passenger passed out. Everybody, of course, looked at the little woman from Mount Pleasant. who had heard, too. BROUGHT LUCK TO NURSE. Birth Minim Princess In Italy's Rcryal 1Pallaee Means Fortune to a Peasant. Although the birth of a second prin- cess was by no means welcome to the king of Italy, there is another person whose fortune and to some extent fame has keen assured by that event. This is Vincenzina Stirpe, a buxom peasant woman from the mountains of Verola, chosen to wet -nurse the young princess. Her duty accom- plished, Vineenzina returns to her hus- band and her own babe with a pension of $500, a sum which represents luxury to the simple people from among whom she springs. King Victor Emmanuel II. Is not without his superstitions, and it is commonly reported that he is con- vinced that his visit to the czar of Rus- sia brought him the \evil eye\ and that he cannot have an heir to his throne. Princess Mafalda is a sturdy little mite and is doing very well indeed. Unique Expeditioa. With the object of obtaining speci- mens of every dislect•spoken in the United States, Prof. Scripture, of Tale university, is touring the country in a special railway carriage fitted with phonographic apparatus, lie will visit the Indian tribes first. and afterward the poorer white people of the south and foreign -born population.—N. Y. Sun. Marriage Statistics. Marriages average 3.000 a day in the whole world. Of 1.060 men who marry, 332 marry younger women, 570 marry women of the same age. and 98 older women.—Indlanapolis News. DENTISTRY Dr. Al. M. Hedges Office Over Judith Hard- ware Store, Lewistown, Has been in practice over thirty years and guarantees all his operations. W. H. CULVER PHOTOGRAPHER Lewistown, Montana KodaksandAmateur's Supplies For Sale
