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About The Madisonian (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915 | View This Issue
The Madisonian (Virginia City, Mont.), 10 Oct. 1874, located at <http://montananewspapers.org/lccn/sn86091484/1874-10-10/ed-1/seq-1/>, image provided by MONTANA NEWSPAPERS, Montana Historical Society, Helena, Montana.
THE MADISONIAN. AMID :17 — TT' R DAY. OCTOBER 10,1\474. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. One Year ,in advance ) $5 00 Six Months 2 50 Three Months \ 1 50 ADVERTISING RATES. THE MADISONIAN, as an advertising inedium, is equal to any paper in Montana. .40 •-• ! I I Inch ..... $3' $5 $7; $8 $10 $15 2 Inches • 5 8 9; 10 12 20 3 Inches 7 9 11 1 4 15 4 Inches 8 11 12 14 17 30 6 Inches 10 12 15 18 24 38 13 Inches 18 24 30 34 40 55 15 Inches 10 40 50 ; 65 75 95 -a I ... n al! $20 $25 301 40 371 :55 451 70 6590 901140 1501250 The above scale of prices Is for ordinary sin - ;le -column, display advertising. solid and tAbular advertisements will be charged at the kach rate for space occupied. LOCAL NOTICES, Fifteen cents per line for ffrst, and ten cents oer line for each additional insertion. CARDS, One-half inch, $2 for one insertion; $3 for two insertions; $8 per quarter; $16 per year. The foregoing schedule of prices will be strictly adhered to. All advertisements counted in Nonpareil measure. Of every description, executed in the best and neatest style. and unreasonable terms. NEWSPAPER DECISIONS. 1. Any one who takes a paper regularly from the Postoffice—whether directed to his name or another's, or whether he has subscribed or not —is responsible for the payment. 2. If a person orders his paper discontinued, he must pay all arrearages, or the publisher 'nay continue to send it until payment is made, awl colitet the whole amount, whether the pa- per is taken from the othce or not. 3. The courts have decided that refusing to take the newspapers or periodicals from the Postoffice, or removing and leaving them un- called for, is prima facia evidence of intention- al frau.i. PROFESSIONAL. G. F. COWAN, It torne) and Counselor at Law. Rader4iberg. Montana Territory. HENRY F. WILLIAMS, Atly & Counselor at Law, VIRGE-TIA CITY, MONTANA. OFFICE over the Post Officer. J. E. CALLAWAY, Attorney and Coun- selor at Law. VIRGINIA CITY, MONTANA. OFFICE, adjoining the office of the Secre- tary of the TerritorY K. W. ToOLE. J. K. TOOLE , . TOOLE & TOOLE. 4 Law. HELENA, MONTANA. Will practice in all the Courts of Montana. 01IN T. SHOBER. T. J. Lowib:nx. SHOBER & LOWERY, Attorneys antic oun- selovs_ at 1L4aNN - . HELENA, M. T. Will practice in all the Courts of Montana. SAMUEL WORD, Attorney at Law. VIRGINIA CITY. M. T. JAMES G. S P R AT T, Attorney and Ct)un- selor at Law. VIRGINIA CITY, MONTANA. Will practice in all the Courts of Montana. R. W. HI. . .Attorney at Law, GALLATIN CITY. M. T. W. F. SANDERS, Attorney and. Coun- selor at Law. HELENA, M. T. Will practice in all Courts of Record in Montana. C. W. TURNER, 11., 9 VIRGINIA CITY, T.\.. T. OFFICE: Adjoining Colonel Callaway 's. VIM. F. K I KWOOD, t tor ney at Law, vIRGINIA CITY. Can be found at Judge Spratt's office or Pro- bate Court Rooms. Will practice in all the Con r t,: o f the- Territory. 'GEORGE CALLAWAY, M. D. Physician and Surgeon. VIRGINIA CITY, M NTANA. OF I' I d'E. at the Law Office of J. E. Calla- way, Esq., mud further notice. I. C. SMITH. hi. D., Physician and Surgeon. VIRGINIA CITY, M. T. °thee at the Old Le Beau Stand, Wallace Street where he can be found night or day E. T. YAGER. M. D., Physician and Surgeon. VIRGINIA CITY, M. T. Will practice in all branches. Oiliee one door above the City Drug Store. EARKLEY. M, D. Physician & Surgeon. RADERSBURG, M. T. Ti had twenty-one years' experiencein I in his profession—four years of that time surgeon in the Confederate army. He's pre- pared to perform all kinds of surgery. IN FEMALE COMPLAINTS, his expe- ls not surpassed by any physician in the Ierrit;)ry. TO THOSE WHO HAVE VENEREAL Cl.EtIPLAINTS.—Gonorrhea, if called upon w!thin live days after the first appearance, he will (lire in se vent y -two hours. In Syphilis, he will cure in live days. .11is treatment is different from any physi- thk Territory. He Is prepared for Cleansing Extraeting and Filling Teeth. DR. C. S. ELLIS IT AVING taken an interest in the Drug Department of Cari . nichael's store at Silver Star, Montana,ci!n tound at all times, day and night, at said t•tore, when not absent on professional busi- neS. 1-28tf _ 0. B. WHITFORD, M. D., Physician ani SurgooD , aiONTANA. DEE4 L.JDGE. 'OL. 1. VIRGINIA CITY, MONTANA, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 1874. IFPCO171`11.,A7. HUMOROUS. There was a farmer who had four sons, And these four sons were brothers, Bohunkas was the name of one, Josephas of the other. Now these four boys had suits of clothes, Made to wear on Sundays; Josephas wore his every day, Bohunkas his on Mondays. Now these four boys to the theater went, Whenever they saw fit; Josephas in the gallery sat, Bohunkas in the pit. Now these four boys they had a mule, And he was wondrous kind; Josephas he rode up before, Bohnnkas up behind. Now these four boys their story told, And they did tell it well: Josephas he to heaven went, Bohunkas he to Sing Sing. Now these four boys are dead and gone, Long may their ashes rest; Josephas of the cholera died, Bohuukas by request. There was a young woman named Brewster, Who married an old Bantam Rooster: When asked what induced her To marry the Rooster, She said that the question confused her. There was a young woman named Hannah, Who behaved in a frivolous manner; While her Pa stood in prayer, She put tacks in his chair, Which he tat on, and cus-sed his Hannah. There was a young woman in Natchez, Who swallowed a whole bunch of matches; When asked how they tasted, She said, they are wasted, This frugal young woman of Natchez. THE PROTEST. BY JOHN W. WEIDMEYER. From the Liberal Christian. Who shall verify story, Who shall justify praise, Shapen the shadowy legends Lost in the worldly maze? Tradition is half invented; Fame is belied and sold; Merit is doomed to silence; Greatness is burnished with gold. Herald of tomb -researches, Trumpet the champions we ask; A pennon for Mary of Scotland— Plumes for the Iron Mask; Fling the gauntlet defiant Where never traditions may err, Be it for Benedict Arnold, Be it for Aaron Bin -r! Men may slander him \evil' That loses a desperate game; But he that wins a tussel Is cushioned and wreathed for fame. You that chronicle history, Scribe of our passing days; Soften men's opposite rancor, Chasten men's opposite praise, Shspen no monstrous fetich, Trump no historic lie; Better your every record Of things eternal should die. Bury the popular idol, Kissed and derided by turns, Hold not the measure of Milton Upon the stature of Burns. Though it were rainbow -encircled, Worship not idly a name; If there be error in Gospel, Error in Gospel proclaim. MICKY MACARTHY, BE AISY: 0 Micky Macarthy, he off wid your fun, And call me no longer your daisy; For I vow from this moment our courting is done, So, Micky Macarthy, be aisy! Take your hand off my shoulder, and let me alone! Be off wid your nonsense so crazy! Last night I was asked to wed Darby Malone, So, Micky Macarthy, be aisy. Sure it's long since the first time you came to court me, • An' troth, I've tiled in all things to plaize ye; Yet you've ne'er said a word about marriage. So, Micky Macarthy, be aisy. You dally with this lass, and dally with that, Yet to marry you seem mighty lazy; But here you no longer shall hang up your hat, So, Micky Macarthy, be aisy. But for you, I might have been wed long ago To Pat Flinn or to Barney Macarny; And li they've money galore, though you've no- thing, you know, So, Micky Macarthy, be aisy! Once for all, let me tell you,my broth of ahoy, Either wed me or cease for to taize me, For I mean to possess matrimonial joy, So, Micky Macarthy, be aisy. LOVE. Down in my hearts little bird Has made itself a nest; The sweetest songs I ever heard Are those it sings the best. It warbles softly at the dawn, And sings the whole day long: And when the sunset died away. I hear its little song. I quite forget the toil and care That jarred the chords of life; My heart grows stronger. unaware, To battle in the strife. Sweet bird, stay always in my heart, To sing your tender song, For where such songs enraptured start, All sadness seemeth wrong. Sing bird, sweet bird of snowy wing, And eye of brooding dove! For I am happy while you sing, Oh! bonny bird of love. THE PLEASANT AUTUMN DAYS. The sun is now south of the equator. Autumn is creeping on apace. iWe have before us the two most presentable months of the year. Sunshine by day with tool nights will prevail. The seren- ading mosquito is the only drawback to the actualities of real happiness. His voice and sting become nocturnal reali- ties, but this year has not developed the usual mosquito industry, melody and penetration. The sun will round up the corn and the apples-, will cause the rotund pumpkin to blush with a deeper glow, will fill out and ripen the annual potato, and green the grass from which the re- flective cow rectifies the milk that pro- duces the Fall butter, which is the best produced in all the year. It is in the Aututnal Summer, if the phrase may be allowed, that the real richness of the country develops. The cornucopia then turns bottom up, and pours its wealth of harvect in the expectant laps of those whose labor have earned it. JOSH BILLINGS' SPICE -BOX. Most every one hives to listen 2 slan- der, but there ain't but few but what de- spise the author ov it. What heartless world this would be i thare was no tears in it. Wize men are surprised when phools are always wondering at everything that happens. I meet a great meny men whoze talk iz like a bunch of fire-krackers when they are first touched oph, full uv pop for a fu minnits, and then all iz over. Without mutiny, without friends, and without impudende, iz about az low down in this world az any man can get, and keep virtewous. After a man has passed the age of 67, about awl that he can find to talk about and brag on iz that he has got more pains and akes that enny of the rest of his ha - 'There is nothing that a man is so cer- tain ov as he is ov what he sees, and yet there is nothing after all that deceives him oftener. Beware of the man who is always ready to swop old friends for nu ones. The dog that follows everybody ain't worth a kuss. When I play whist I alwuzz like a phool for a pardner, for they do hold such good hands. I have had people set down bi ml side and konfidently undertake to explain something to me of great importance, and after taking 34 minutes by the watch I not only didn't kno what they had been trying to tell, but had forgot a good deal that I knew before. Thare is but little that iz new under the sun, and what iz ain't good for much. One of the most perfekt victorysem kin achieve over enuy man iz to beat him in politeness. The rarest artickle quoted in market just now is good common sense. Young man, you had better be honest than cunning, and it iz hard worke to be both. I kan't tell exactly what's the matter ov me, but I am alwuz just a leetle shy ot the woman who wears her hair kut short. The world at large judges ov us bi our euekeess. ought to kure the pride of enny man when he reflects that there aint no one living but what owes more to the world than the world owes to him. The great mistake that meny people make is to think that they was made be- fore the world waz instead ov since. A GREAT BURGLAR'S CAREER. Charles A. Bullard was arraigned in the superior criminal court at Boston or 1st inst., for rob bine: the Boylston bank in 1869, of $496,000, and was held in 5100.000 bail for trial. The exploits and career of this criminal are remarkable. He has been one of the sharpest in the profession of robbery, and has partieipal ted in sonic of the most daring robberies in the country. He was concerned in the American express robbery on the Hudson river some years ago, and was captured and confined in White Plains jail, from which lie escaped. His next undertaking was the Boylston bank job, which proved successful. He and a com- panion hired an office in the bank build- ing, and while keeping up the appear - :thee of honest business men in the day time, at night they worked upon the wall next to the vault. They secured $496,000 worth of deposited funds and fled to New York, whence, on the divis- ion of the plunder,Bullard fled to Europe, and soon established that gorgeous saloon in Paris which traveled Amerieaus will remember as Wells's American Cafe. It was on Rue Scribe, not far from the Grand Hotel, and was largely in favor with a class of American travelers. Af- ter flourishing here two or three years, Bullard was arrested for allowing gamb- ling in his saloon. He sold out and went with his wife to Brighton. England, and thence in February last to Baltimore. The detectives were keeping track of him, as they pretend to say, all the time. In Baltimore he became utterly broken down, in bad habits, in health as well as fortune. His wife desert& him and he repaired to New York and joined his old pals. it is understood that he has con- fessed his crime in detail. In his confes- sion he denies that Glover, who is now serving a 12 years' sentence as an acces- sory before the fact, had anything to do with the affidr, and knew nothing of it until all was accomplished. PROSPECTIVE GROWTH. A statistician bases the prospective in- crease of population in the United States for the remainder of this decennial period on a law of growth, which he finds in a number of averages, covering ten periods, or reaching back to 1870. He figures up the population for this decennial as follows: 1870 181 1872 1873 1874 1875 1876 1877 1878 1879 1880 38 558.371 30,672,000 40,881,000 41,979,000 43,'67,000 44,381,000 45,637,000 46,896,0 0 48,161,000 49,511,000 50,858,000 \I have been,\ says Judge Nott, \at the bar and in the military service, and my experience leads me to the conclu- sion that woman are as well fitted for one as the other. The light breech -load- ing carbine demands activity rather than strength. Woman. as a soldier, would have little to do besides marching, and shooting, and being shot. It is said that a well-bred, intelligent, honest woman will make a better attorney than an igno- rant, vicious, unscrupulous man. This it true; but it is equally true that a healthy, active woman will make a better soldier than a decrepit man.\ Sure way to turn people hea13—g late into church. \THINK OF IT, HANNER.\ An Old Couple on their Travel—How a Lying Young Man Posted Theta on Historic Spots. (From the Detroit Free Press.) On the train, the other day, were a very confiding old man and a very innocent old lady. They had passed away five - sixths of their lives hidden away behind the hills of Vermont, and were going to Western Michigan on a visit to their son. After a little skirmishing round, the old gentleman pitched into me about the \crops \sue and when I found how innocent he was, I gave him all the in- formation I could. All at once, as he rode along, the with caught his arm and exclaimed: \Look out, Samuel, or you'll be for- getting t! at place where they fit!\ The old man explained : He said that a young man, who came down from Can- ada with them, told him to look out for the battle -field of Braddock's defeat as soon as he left Detroi`. I was going to reply that the young man was an internal liar, but the old lady seemed to have set her heart on seeing the spot, and the old man was so anxious that I couldn't bear to disap- point them. When we got down into the woods. I pointed out the \battle- field,\ and they put their heads out of the windows and took in the scene. \Think of it, Haulier,\ exclaimed the old man, as he drew in his head; think of them Injuns creeping through them woods and shooting Mr. Braddoak clown dead !\ \My soul!\ replied the old lady, seem- ingly overcome at the idea, awl she kept her eyes on the woods until I thought she would twist her neck off, We got along all right for about five miles more, and the old man wanted to know it we weren't down pretty near the spot where Tecumseh fell? \Where ?\ I yelled, and he said that the same young man had informed him that the railroad ran close to the identical spot where the great Indian warrior fell and slept. \It'll be a powerful favor to me 'on Samuel if yell point out the spot,\ urged the old lady, placing her hand upon my arm. How could I go back on what that brazen young man had said ? The old folks had made up their minds to see the spot, and if I didn't show it to them they might worry for weeks, and they might think the young man had lied, or that I wasn't posted in the historic spots of my own State. Lor' forgive me, but a mile further on I pointed out a hill and said : \Behold the last resting place of the great Tecumseh.\ \Think of it, Hammer—just think of it !\ exclaimed the old man ; \right there is where they got him !\ \Mercy! but it don't seem possible !\ she ejaculated, and she had to get out her snuff -box before she could recover from the shock. The old gentleman said he had a par- ticular interest in seeing the spot, be- cause he knew the man who had killed Tecumseh—used to live right by him. \He muet have been an awful Injun?\ broke in the old lady, \for the young man said he did't die till they had cut off his head. and feet, and hands, and blowed the body up with a barrel of powder !\ I wanted to getaway after that, fearing that something worse was coming, but she insisted on my taking a pinch of snuff, and so I kept my scat. We were just be- yond Brighton, when the old man came at me like a steamboat, with: \Now then, how fur is it to the spot where they found the Babes in the Woods?\ I wanted to get out of it, but how could I? That young man had deliberately lied to those nice old folks, and I hadn't moral courage to tell 'em so, and thus had to make a liar of myself. It's awful to deceive any one. especially a good old man and a fat and motherly old lady, on their way to the tomb. \That's—yes—that's the spot,\ I said as we came to the dark piece of wood. \Think o' that, Hanner !\ he said, his head out of the window. \Think of them babies being found in there !\ \Yes it was fearful !\ she replied ; “seems as if I could almost see them stubbing about in there now !\ There was another historic spot of which the young man had told them, but they had forgotten it. and I was never more thankful. They kept quiet until the breakman yelled out, \Lansing and then the old man hobbled up and ex- claimed : -Lansing—Laneing—why , here's where they hung Tore. Collins, ain't it?\ He explained that Tom Collins, a Chi- cago desperado, had murdered eleven old women awl drank their blood for his liv- er complaint, and alter being hunted for miles and miles. had at length been cap- tured at Lansing cut to pieces by the in- furiated populace, and then left hanging to a tree. I had to point out the tree. It was a tree near the depot. arel the tail of a kite had lodged in its branches. \There's where they hung him, Han- ner !\ said the old men, stretching his neck. \And there's some o' his shirt left yet!\ exclaimed the good old lady, and as I backed out of the car, the good old man was remarking that he was going to ask the train boy if he didn't have the -Pamphlet Life of Tom Collins,\ so that they could get further particulars. Interesting Indian relics have been ex- humed on the shores of lake Medad, near Hamilton, Canada. The bones of several hundred Indians of different ages and sexes were found in two pits, one of which was circular, about twelve feet in diameter, and the other of irregular shape, but about thirty feet across. Thousands of relics were also found. It is probable that the remains are those of the peaceful tribe of Attiwendaronks, who were extirpated by the Hurons, and their remains thrown into pits in the various plaees where they perished. NO. 48. GAIL HAMILTON ON SERMONS. Gail Hamilton appears to have suffered at sonic period of her life from enforced holding her tongue, and she says in the Christian Union: A minister preaches a sermon through and lets no dog bark. We may think he has left out a fact or two in his argument on the atonement; that there is a flaw in his reasoning on original sin; a cloud in his definition of the doctrine of substitution; but the good minister has put us under such training that we dare not open our lips, and he has it all his own way. How long would a sermon last it, every time the Congre- gational, evangelical preacher struck a snag, Brother Charles K. Whipple and Brother Voysev and Brother Bishop Pot- ter and Brother Fulton and Brother Abbott and Brother Patton should rise and say: \Will the gentleman allow me to ask a single question?\ \Will the gen- tlemani permit me to interrupt him a mo- ment?\ \Will the gentleman grant me a few minutes of his time to correct a statement of filet?\ \Will the gentleman kindly repeat his last assertion?\—it; in short, he were surrounded be eager an- tagonists ready to claw and clutch at every lapse front logic, and every weak statement or forced inference? Let me not be arraigned for a mover of sedition; but I sometimes think when I hear, as I sometimes do hear, a good man plodding serenely onward in the pulpit, assuming his premises, begging his questions. con- founding his terms, mistaking assertions for conclusions, and upsetting his dish generally, that it might not be wholly in- salubrious to have a little \useless de- bate\ introduced into the churches. When I read in the Confession of Faith of the Presbyterian Church that \Elect infants, dying in:infancy, are regenerated and saved by Chris. * * * Others, not elected * * * never truly come to Christ, and therefore cannot be saved\—I think I should like to see that poor little non -elect infant run the gaunt- let of a debate in the House of Represen- tatives! HIS HARD HE %II SAVED IIIM. Rockport, Indiana, boasts among its population of two colored men named respectively Jack Loe and Willis Pool. Now, these sable heroes of many a stern- ly contested battle do not seem given to pious meditations, and, while the better portion of the little circle in which these men move were taking part in devotions befitting the Sabbath day, they were seated in the friendly shedows of the bluffs overlooking the river, deep in the mysteries of poker, with the five cents ante accompaniment. How it all came about our reporter was unable to learn, but there was a sudden, violent dispute, a quick struggle, and then a heavy body struck the huge rocks thirty feet below with a dull thud, and Willis Pool turned away with a shudder. Discovering that he had been observed, he turned and fled. Those below, however, hastening to the spot where the body lay, found that life was not 'extinct, and a moment later, that as far as outside signs went, the damage was not fatal. Indeed, Lee was able to regain his feet, and but little diffi- culty was experienced in getting him to his home. It the fall, the Journal's in- formant insists that Willis' head came in contact with a fair-sized 'block of sand- stone, literally crushing the latter to powder. The fact that his head reached the earth first probably saved the fellow from death; but though his service is fully valued by him, it was not quite sufficient to shield his body from harm. Among the injuries mentioned is a dislo- cated shoulder, a pretty badly bruised back, and injuries of an internal nature which may yet prove fatal, though the physicians think otherwise. THE OVEnLAND TRADE. The feature of the overland trade last month was the shipment of a car -load of California Tobacco to the East. There were over 500 full cars of freight for- warded from Calithrnia to the East dur- ing the month of August. The descrip- tions and quantities sent from San cisco are annexed: Tea, lbs Coffee Pepper Silk Seal Skins and Furs Hides and Pelts Wool Leather Glue Powder Lumber Quicksilver Syrup Salmon Canned Goods Borax Wine Barley Malt Flour Mustard Tobacco Ripe Fruit Merchandise Fran - 1,528,90 , 302,000 . 38,100 5.400 94,200 171,400 2,069,600 52,600 41,200 21,500 126,403 52,400 741,700 1,282.200 289,9)0 .. 147,000 470,290 Seed 180,500 82,100 90,s 00 61,000 19,500 80,590 798,000 Total 8,728,300 There were ten car -loads of Pears and other ripe Fruit fowarded from Marys- ville, and a car load of Wine. Sacramen- to sent five car -loads of Wool, four car- loads of ripe Fruit, three car -loads of Malt, three car -loads of Flour, a car -load of Borax, nearly two car -loads of Wine, and tour car -loads of miscellaneous freight. Since the 1st ult. there have been some large shipments of Hops to New York, and Seal Skins to London.— San Francisco Bulletin. The difficulties attendant upon the breaking off the habit of chewing tobac- co were never more vividly described than by the man who said that in freeing himself from the thraldom of the weed he chewed seventeen papers of camo- mile flowers, five pounds of stick licorice and slippery elm, eat up four crash tow- els, three napkins, and a dozen pocket handkerchiefs—and then went back to tobacco.—Boston Traveller. Blindman's buff is eala onabie color. to be the DECEIT OF SONG -WRITERS. The man who wrote \Home Sweet Home,\ never had a home.—Exchange. No, of course not. All his folks at home say he didn't. Nobody who writes about anything ever had it. If a man is out of anything he immediate!y goes and writes about it. No man writes so many \head- ings\ as the man who is out of his head. Certaiely he didn't ever have any home. The man who wrote the \Old Arm Chair\ never had an arm chair in all his life. The best he had was an old split - bottom chair without any back to it. The author of \Take Me Back to Swit- zerland\ never was in Switzerland. The nearest he ever came to it was sitting in the William Tell saloon eating Sweitzer kase—kase why, that was the best he could do. \Mother I've Come Home to Die,\ has not spoken to the old woman for years, and wouldn't go near the house. Be- sides, he is of that class of spiritualists who don't believe they will ever die. His health was never better. His mother is nothing but a mother-in-law, and she is dead anyhow. There is the author of \Old Oaken Bucket,\ too. There wasn't a bucket on the old farm, water being drawn with a tin pail and a cistern -pole. \If I Had But a Thousand a Year\ stated privately to his friends that he would be contented with half that sum, as he was doing chores for his board and three months schooling. in the winter. The author of \Champagne Charley\ never drank anything but ten cent whis- ky. \Shells of Ocean\ is a humbug. The plaintive poet who represents himself as wandering, one summer eve, with sea - beat thought, on a pensive shore, was raised in the interior of Pennsylvania. and never was ten miles away from home in all his life. \Gathered shells,\ did he? All the shells he ever gathered were some egg -shells back of his moth- er's kitchen. \Hark I Hear an Angel Sing\ spent all his evenings in a beer saloon. An- gels, indeed? The man who wrote the \Song of the Shirt\ hadn't a shirt to his back, wearing a wainus for the most part. \Oft in the Stilly Night,\ used to get on a spree and make the stilly night howl till daylight. The author of \We Met by Chance\ knew very well it was arranged before- hand. He had been weeks contriving it —and she admired his contrivance. The author of -I Know a Bank,\ etc., did not know one where he could get his note discounted. The only check he ever held was a white check at a faro bank. He never held a red check in all his life. \What are the Wild Waves Saying?\ knew very well they were reproaching him for running - away from Long Branch without paying his hotel bill. \Who will Care for Mother Now?\ Who indeed ? You took the old WOMall to the poorhouse just before writing the song, and there is nobody but the Poor - master to care for her now. \hear Me, Norma,\ was deaf and dumb. He couldn't make his pa hear, nor ma. -My Mother, Dear.\ used to thrash the old woman within an inch of her life. The author of -Rain on the Boor' al- ways slept in the basement, except when he slept out of doors. \Let Me Kiss Him for His Mother\ got mad because his mother wouldn't have him. and whipped her little boy within an inch of his life. \I Dreamt I Dwelt in Marble Halls\ used to cheat at marbles when a boy, and his dream was a horrid nightmare, brought on by the remorse at the recol- lection of fraudulent marble hauls. \rm Saddest When I Sing\ was tickled almost to death it invited to. \Happy be Thy Dreams\ sold benzine whisky. You can limey what kind of dreams were produced. --From the Fat Contributor. In view of the decision of the supreme court in Wisconsin, recently. affirming the constitutionality of the Potter law, President Keep of the Northwestern 11. R. announces that the company will take off all first class cars, and reduce force to a. minimmn of strength. It remains to be seen whether the road has second class cars enough to accommodate the travel, and whether there will be any ma- terial saving in running them, and allow- ing the first class to remain idle. The managers propose to show how cheaply a great railroad can be run. ae-le-ea The Nev Jersey Democrats have done nearly as well as their Massachusetts brethren. Their platform shows that they have been close students of Repub- lican principles and have decided to adopt some of the best. For instance. they favor equal political rights for all men ; condemn mildly the southern dis- orders; advocate a specie currency and revenue reform ; and sympathize with laborers out of employment. They op- pose the civil rights bill, and the third term proposition, and call for the repeal of the press gag law, so-called. Their candidate for governor is Judge Bedle. Boys somethnes surprise their parent. in taking a very unexpected turn. A St. Joe father, who undertook to frighten his son by assuming the role of highway- man, was somewhat disconcerted when his offspring pulled a pistol from his pocket and blazed away at his author of his being. The old man rolled over into the ditch, and does not believe in the timidity of his sou as much as he did. see -•--se Said a political orator, warming up as he approached the climax of his speech, \Let us conduct this campaign, fellow - citizens, upon the principle enunciated by I the immortal Lincoln. 'With malice W- I ward all, and charity to none.' \ And they hustled him out without waiting for ' c•xpl.auations. A FUNERAL FOR EIGHT DOLLARS. The New York German Cremation So- ciety propose to build a hall 60 feet wide by 44 feet, rectangular -shape, lit from -above by means of a central dome, sup- ported on piasters. In the centre of one side -wall is to be placed an altar, at which funeral ceremonies are to be per- formed. In front of the altar will be an opening in the floor, giving entrance to an underground -passage. The corpse to be incinerated is to be closed in an iron - coffin, which will be sent in a .hearse be- longing to the society to the house of the deceased. In the centre of the coffin -lid will be a circular plate of soft metal, which, when melted by the furnace, will leave an aperture through which the gases from the body in course ofcombus- tion may escape. The coffin is to be low- ered through the opening in front of the altar on to an iron plate supported by screws, which, in turn, are attached to wheels running on a track. By this means the coffin is taken out from beneath the building, and under a furnace constructed outside the hall, and directly behind the altar. When the coffin is moved along the required dis- tance, it is worked up by means of the screws on which it is supported into an empty chamber, surrounded by solid fire -proof masonry and covered over In the same manner, at a short distance above the corpse. On a level with the head of the ciliate and a short distance from it, is a furnace capable of producing heat up to 1,000 de- grees Falue, the heated air from which will pass over the coffin, melting the cen- tral plate of soft metal and charring the inclosed remains, the gases from which mingle with the heated air and pass to an arrangement containing coal oil, where the gases are consumed. The President, F. Stilek, claims that the friends of the deceased remaining near the altar would be utterly unable to see, hear, or smell anything that could shock their sensibilities. After about one and a hall hours the remains would be reduced to ashes, which might be col- lected in an urn, on which the photo- graph of the decesed might be placed, and the urn then deposited in one of a series of niches - running around the walls of the main building. The President claims the greatest superiority for the new method. both on the score of cleanliness and cost, the latter not exceeding $8.—N. Y. Ex- press. 101 , .. - 40 -. .. 01 01 WHERE THE WHEAT COES. In the first five months of 1873 Great Britain imported about 28,000,000 bush- els of wheat, and in the first live months of thus year she imported about the StIttIC quantity; but there was a decided change in the source of eupply. Last year, in the months named. litI3Sitt sent nearly 9,000,- 000 bushels, while this year she sent less than 4,000,000. On the contrary, the United States. which in the five months of 1873 sent about 10,000.000 bushels to England. sent in the same period of this year nearly 18,000.000. There was also a falling off in other countries except Chili and British North America. To those who took note of the harvests last year, this exhibit will not be novel, and the probability is that the same relative pro- portion of the grain traffic of Great Brit- ain will fall for the coming twelve months to the share of the United States. Our accounts concur in the statement that the English harvest is not a tlatterin7 one, and other European regions to which Great Britain looks for her food supply have nothing- but the average crop, at all events. The annual consumption of wheat in England is 176.000.000 bushels, of which she produces about 100.000,000, besides what is kept for seed. The an- nual import, then, is about 80,000,000 bushels. This year. owing to the short harvest of 1873. her demand for imported wheat went, up to 92.000,000. The total export of wheat from the United States is about 34.000,000. of which two-thirds are exported from New York. A ( OF IFLE1S. [From the Hearth awl lIoine.1 The latest exeitement in Berlin is the exhibition of drilled fleas. The exhibi- tion takes place on a large sheet ofavhite paper fastened upon an ordinary table, to which all the spectators approach in turn, so as to be able to witness in all de- tails the extraordinary maneuvers of these little, but marvelously powerful and gifted rascals. Here you see :one of the muscular fleas rolling a small barrel along with his feet, as the men do in time circus; there you see a slim, voluptu- ously built madam of the species walking a1oti,f1 in crinoline, and carrying Ler par- asol, with all the affectation of a city miss; at another place a well -trained fel- low performs on the flying ti apeze— without any danger of his neck, however, since the biggest fitll would not break that; while below the trapeze, on the pa- per, a host of little ones are turning som- ersaults at a fearful rate. The largest spcdimens of the collection have been trained to draw wagons. drays, carria- ges. etc. To fix the harness properly on them the flea tamer places his pupils on a piece of paper covered with mucilage! where they have to stick. He then, by the aid of a watchmaker's loop, arranges a strong gold thread around their bodies and attaches it to the wagon or carriage. The ladies of Berlin attend the exhibition in large numbers, and seem to take an extraordinary delight in the performance of the little creatures, who are fed regu- larly, every morning, from the arm of the great flea tamer. ses.--4-exua During General Grant's visit to Provi- denc,etown. as the carriage in which he rode was driving up to the platform on which the speeches were to be made, the horses disliked the appearance of the thing and seemed ill-disposed to ap- proach it; the President then remarked to Mr. J. P. Johnson, who rode with him, \the horses like me are shy of platforms. I have seen so many of them that 1 al- most abominate the iii.' Pa- triot. THE MADISONIAN —Is— PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY Virginia City, City, - Montana. THOMAS DEYARMON, Editor and Proprietor. Papers ordered to any add re eau be changed to another address atthe option of the subscriber. Remittance by draft, cheek, money order or registered letter may besets& at our risk. TIIE MADISONIAN i derotod to the advocacy of the principles of the Democrat -to party and to general and local news. SNIPEON TOAST—SIXTY CENTS.\ A sojourner in a large city, who i at the mercy of restaurants where you ure treated with a big bill of fare, and very little food on your plate, thus hits it off: Snipe on toast would be almost too hearty food to feed people on who had been floating on a raft three weeks feed ing on old hoot -legs. Says I to the waiter : \Give me snipe on toast.\ By and by be came hi and put down some toast, and I kept on reading about what a donkey Grant was, and what a ridiculous set every one is who is run- ning for office; and I sat there for an hour. Then I rang the gong. The wai- ter entered, and says 1 ae•Where in thun- der is my meat ?\ Says he: -They're been on the table more than an hour.\ Says I: -I didn't order plain toast ; I want a snipe on it.\ Says he : -There is a snipe on it.\ Then I drew close up to the table. and I saw a little black speck on the toast. Says I, \You'll swear that's a sniper Says he. \Yes.\ Says I, \You'd make a good linen buy- er. you would.\ Says he, -It's a snipe on toast, anye how.\ \Says I, \How did it get on?\ Says he, -That snipe is all right. It's a full-sized one too.\ Says I, \I'm glad of it. I'm glad you told me that's a full-sized snipe ; for do you know, young man, when 1 sat out reading there, I saw a black speck on that toasts but I took it for a fly, and I'm glad to be informed it's a snipe—a full- sized snipe. Now you can take that snipo away and bring, me a turkey on toast. I want a hill -sized turkey, too.\ I hadn't hankering after snipe since that episode. I could have blown that snipe through a putty -blower without. hurting the snipe or the putty -blower either. Snipe on toast may be game, but it's a mean game. NEVER SPEA Is. 'LICIIITLY OV WOM IN. Of all the evils prevalent among young men we know ol none more blighting - in its moral effects than to speak slightingly of the virtue of women. Nor is there anything - in which young men are more thoroughly mistaken as in the low esti- mate which they form of the integrity or women, not of their Own mothers awl sisters. As a rule, no person who de- scends to this debasing habit is to be en- trusted with any enterprise requiring in- tegrity of character. Plain words should be spoken on this point, for the evil is a general one and deep rooted. If young men are sometimes thrown into the so - ciety of thoughtless or lewd women, they have no more right to measure women by wilat they see of these than they would have to estimate the character of honest and respectable citizens by the develop- ments of crime in our police courts. Let our young men remember that their chief lege nese iii life depends upon their utter faith in women. No worldly wis- dom, no misanthropic philosophy. no generalization can ever cover or WfIlkell this fundamentalt null. It stands like the record of God himself—for it is no- thing less than this—and should put mum everlasting seal upon lips that are ever wont to speak slightingly- of women. -sum•-•-•suit•- A WIDOW'S WITNESS. It was told of old that time cackle of a goose once saved Rome. It is now re- lated that a swallow won a suit in court away down in Texas. A poor widow and her daughter had suit for damages befisre a court in Houston. The counsel for the plaintiff introdneed into his plead- ing the fitble of the swallow that built her nest awl reared her young under the eaves of the temple of justice. The law- yer enlarged upomi the swallow's trust in the protection of her home the place af- forded, and very aptly made the applica- tion to the case before the court. When the counsel was about finishing his illus- tration a swallow actually flew into the room and alighted upon the judge's desk. It then hopped away and found rest for the sole of its foot on the railing of the jury box. In its circuit of the court room it halted awhile on a pile of law books, then hovered a moment over the heads of the plaintiffs, and flew out of the window and away. The counsel concluded by saying: \Behold the witness.\ and as the wit- ness could not be called back by the op - posing counsel, the case was given to the jury pretty much as the swallow left it. The jury could not ignore the bird's evidence, and gave a verdict for the wid- ow. The story is a little birdy, but not in the least fishy. lilt was a preconeer- ted plan of the lawyer, it was very hap- pily arranged and nicely carried out, and deserves a place among court reports and curious pleadings. The power of taxation is an inherent attribute of sovereignty necessary to the preservation of all Governments, and it may well be questioned whether it can be surrendered or parted with by any Congress or other authority before the term of their official existence. Thus a Republican Coegress assumes to cede away the right to tax the United States by the Federal Government under any exigency of circumstanees. It this call be legally done, why may not another Congress relinquish the right to collect Custom -house duties or to derive any revenue from the sale of the public hands. Thus the Government would come to a full stop for the lack of funds to carry it on. This is a principle we do not con- cede. The representatives of the people want to be free at all times to levy such taxes as may, in their judgment, be nec- essary to maintain the Government, and all attempts to limit or restrict this pre- rogative, unless they are put in the Con- stitution, are mu l land void. Gas -bills ars now characterized as light afflictions. St 11
